Hello All!
I am a personal support worker currently working at a nursing home. There is a resident whom I have became very close with and he often confides to me that he wants to leave the NH and he would love to take a trip elsewhere. He says he could hire me as his fulltime caregiver and I have no idea what to do in order to make that happen and something inside me is telling me I should do it and give this man his last chance to live his life the way he wants to instead of wasting his life away alone in his room.
Right now my Resident is completely cognitive. We have full on conversations, he can walk a few steps, stand, everything a cognitive person can do except his ADLs which I can gladly take care of. He does not need any other nursing care other than meds. This man came to the nursing home WAY too early.
My resident has a rare progressive brain disease that basically kills brain cells. It is different in every case and progression seems very slow as he needs LIMITED assistance right now.
I am reaching out to you all to help me get this man out of this nursing home and to live his life to the fullest as I am 100% willing to do anything I can. Also did I mention that his wife is resistant to him leaving the NH and going on the trip? PLEASE HELP! And give me your input on whether or not I should do be his 24/7 live in caregiver.
Also I am in my early 20s if that makes any difference.
Thank you all soo soo much!!! :)
You sound like you really are a caring person. However, if you are going to work with ill people, you have to have better boundaries. You need to know what you can and can't control. Where this man is placed is not under your control. How you care for him in his current placement is completely under your control.
#1... "Also did I mention that his wife is resistant to him leaving the NH and going on the trip?" His first response to a reply earlier on was wife didn't know.
#2...Responded there was no Dementia but says in OP "My resident has a rare progressive brain disease that basically kills brain cells." I googled this and found it may be Huntingtons. Here is what the article said:
"Huntington's disease is a relatively rare fatal inherited condition that gradually kills off healthy nerve cells in the brain, leading to loss of language, thinking and reasoning abilities, memory, coordination and movement. Its course and effects are often described as Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease and ALS rolled into one, making Huntington's disease a rich focus of scientific investigation."
It may not be Dementia but it looks like its worse. I know a man who had ALS. Near the end he was wheelchair bound. His wife was a nurse, not an aide.
We don't really know this patients history. There is no way this poster knows the patients finances. He is only going by what the man tells him. A man who has a rare desease that kills brain cells. I don't think he/she should be encouraged. If he feels there is abuse, then go up the chain of command.
Honestly, if this were an option for him his family would have pursued it. If he can still make his own decisions, he would have arranged this on his own. He wouldn't be asking a 20 year old to make this happen for him.
So, let's try to sort through it all.
You probably don't want to communicate about this possibility to coworkers or administrators and supervisors. Most nursing homes want the $$$ so they won't want to let go of someone who has the $$ especially if they are not problematic residents.
You must be cautious about professional conflicts/ethical boundaries etc.
If this even happened, who is going to pay you? If the spouse is opposed you're not likely to get very far...but, that said...
I wonder if his rights are being violated, presuming he has the cognitive abilities you say. Can you suggest to him (since wife is probably not present all the time...) that there be an elder law attorney consultation? Someone who could make a visit to the facility...maybe under the guise of getting important papers set up/reviewed?
Do you feel like he is being kept there against his will? Does he? Then I wonder how helpful, if nothing else, it might be to check in with Adult Protective Services....but perhaps first....if you have a local Long Term Care Ombudsman...that would be my first or second call as they are probably more familiar with the laws in your state.
By your age, you do not have as much experience under your belt...my guess is this is going to be that one case you will carry with you forever as you will learn much...just be careful and watch your own back:-)...We need more people with your spirit and dedication to advocate for the best interest of their patient. But the question is, is this the best decision for your patient? And what roadblocks will other family put up? It would be far easier if the spouse went along with the plan...Good luck...post a note and let us know how it all goes!
I imagine that because you work at a NH and have been to school you think you know all the ins and outs of caregiving and placement in a nursing home - I doubt you do, I was often amazed at how ignorant many of the employees at mom's NH were. Other than rescuing him from the NH, how do you expect this to pan out?
The community supports available are never adequate, the hoops necessary to get into a preferred NH are often a formidable barrier. At the NH you work an 8 hour shift (with breaks) and then go home. You get days off, holidays and vacation time. You likely get a benefits package. It is nothing like caring for one client one on one 24/7.
Lets pretend he moves with you to an apartment - There will be no RN down the hall if there is a crisis, no doctor who makes house calls. Meals won't be provided in the dining room, that will be on you also. What about Lifts, grab bars etc? How will he pass his time, there will be no other residents and staff to visit or entertainment?
have you considered that what you experience with him is just show timing? I think it’s reasonable to assume you aren’t with him 24/7. Even if he is still at a mild stage. Do you understand what is to come? Are you trained to deal with violent outbursts? You will be his sole caretaker. Are you aware that your physical well being may be put at risk? Not to mention the emotional toll this will take on you. Like I said, I think your heart is in the right place but this is a terrible idea. Not to mention the ethical and moral aspects.....
https://www.stonebridgecs.com/stone/latest-news/what-is-a-personal-support-worker-psw-and-what-does-a-psw-do
https://www.oregon.gov/DHS/SENIORS-DISABILITIES/HCC/PSW-HCW/Pages/Personal-Support-Workers.aspx and they aren’t CNAs. In the US, they are more commonly known as simply “caregivers”. In California for example, we do have PSWs that get paid through IHSS, they aren’t CNAs or MAs, just basic caregivers. They don’t need any sort training or certification to be one.
"Wife is resistant" is your answer. She holds the purse strings. You have no idea if he can afford to do what he would like to do. He is where he is because he has been evaluated and found this is where he needs to be. Maybe he is there because his wife could no longer care for him. Couldn't afford to place him in a Assisted Living so this is where she could afford to put him.
Here in the US a LTC facility costs on average 10k a month. If you are able to get Medicaid (State help) its because you have no money but maybe Social Security and that goes to offset ur care. Spouse will not be made impoverished but there will be no extra money for trips.
Sorry, this will seem condescending, but step back and look at the full picture. Your profession does not allow you to get this involved. You are going to have patients that you can't stand and you are going to have ur favorites. Thats OK. But as a professional, you cannot get involved with their personal life. If wife is resistant that means you have already talked with her. I think you have gotten your answer. If you want to keep your job, I would back off.
NH the resident is in is probably depressing and lousy, with the only bright spot being the resident seeing the young man. If Gonzalez is willing and able to be his 24 hour caregiver and the resident agrees, which seems to be the case, then again, Go For It. The wife may be glad that it is the NH responsibility for care at the moment and not hers.
As far as NH concern, only concern would be liability and money. Outside of that, they could probably care less what Gonzalez and the resident does as long as it could not be traced back to them.
blessings
hgn
You don’t mention the type of Degenerative Brain Disease this man has. That info could help you get some specific information from members that have experience with specific conditions. For example, Alzheimer’s, Lewey Body Dementia, Vascular Dementia, PSP, etc.
You are very young. You probably have a huge heart but, you have to understand, any plan you try to implement to get this man moved out of the NH will be looked at as very suspicious.
If the man is in a NH he requires 24 hour care. Are you prepared to provide 24 hour care. Alone. No days off for the rest of this Man’s life.
You would not only be interrupting a care plan that has been put into place you will be looked upon with great suspicion as to your motives.
No. Do not get involved.
I would love to have her as a support worker as she obvious has the ability to show compassion and caring for another individual. Too many care workers are burned out because they have too many patients and too much record keeping in addition to meeting family and patient needs.
Yes she could possibly get in trouble for helping him live his life free of the human cage. His family who obviously don't care enough for him to keep him part of their circle. He had become part of our disposable society. If he had enough money to move and hire a personal giver then I would suggest they get on with it but make sure they hire a lawyer who is well versed in such situations, get good advice and keep him on retainer until the feathers settle.
As for you Vegas lady, get more advice and compassion before you attack a person for trying to do something properly.
IF you and his wife were working together to help him fulfil his bucket list I would say go for it, but this really just sounds like a wonderful fantasy to me... aside from his physical limitations you have no idea if he (and his wife) could even afford it.
If you have genuine concerns that your resident's rights are not being respected, report your concerns to your line manager.
If you can't do that, or it doesn't go anywhere, go to your state's care standards regulator and find out how to report potential abuse.
If you, as a support worker in a nursing home, take any steps to assist this man to leave the nursing home, or to undermine his wife's legitimate decisions made in his best interests, you will be in more trouble than can be easily explained.
I suspect you also have a lot to learn about dementia.
Look. By all means continue to have enjoyable conversations with your resident about the road trips he'd like to make, and encourage him to talk about his memories of travel, and then other aspects of his life too. That is fine, that is good work, that is enriching his quality of life.
But taking at face value what somebody with a progressive brain disease says about what he wants to do and acting on it would be so unbelievably irresponsible I can't think what you're thinking.
I think it would be very awkward to bring him home against her wishes, with you moving in to take care of him. Depending on her condition, sounds challenging.
Sad that he seems so capable yet is stuck in a nursing home. For him, could be better to be home, and could work if he lived alone. What about that? An independent apartment? But then the costs would be prohibitive.