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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Grandma has some good suggestions. Ask if you can bring him for a hour or so like your visiting. When you leave him for vacation, take him before a meal. When he sits to eat, kiss him and say you will see him later and walk out. Just like you would with a child.
POA, yes, you can have temporary one drawn up.
For my Mom, a respite stay turned into a permanent one because she did so well.
Is it possible to bring him for a day a few times before you go. Call it "Adult Day Care" he will get used to the people. He will be able to know there is a routine. When I placed my Husband for Respite it was in the same place Where I had been taking him for Day Care. (He/we had been asked to not return to the "official" Adult Day Program that he had been going to so I asked a local MC if they would take him for Day Care. and luckily they agreed so when I needed Respite that was the logical thing.) I also was worried that he would decline to the point that I would be unable to bring him home. That fear never materialized. He adjusted very well when he returned home, just like he had been gone for just the day.
Suggestions for you. Appoint someone temporary Guardian just in case they have to make a decision on his care and the facility can not get hold of you. Make sure it is someone that you TRUST and that they are in alignment with you on any treatment.
If the facility where he is going to be will not let you bring him a few times find out if you can at least bring him for lunch. The 2 of you have a lunch and walk around the area where he will be. At least this way the area will be a bit familiar to him.
When you bring him. Keep it simple. Tell him you will see him later. And quietly leave. (to do this you might have to bring the things he will need the day before. Ask the facility what he will need for the length of time he will be there.) If you can get him involved with something to keep him occupied. (you can cry in the car)
I dropped my Husband off the day before I left. That gave me a chance to pack without him seeing a suitcase. I picked him up the day after I returned. This gave me a chance to unpack, do laundry and get some shopping done.
Anticipate that he will decline. If he does that is part of the journey with dementia. He may return to his "baseline" after he gets back home. If he does not decline then he and you are right where you are now except you have a fresher outlook and are rested.
Just a warning about what happened to my MIL when she put our great aunt in respite care for 2 weeks. My husband's great aunt was in her 90's. She was not mentally impaired but a somewhat arrogant and opinionated woman. She decided to brag to anyone who would listen (including staff) that she wasn't a "real" resident and was just staying there while her caretaker was visiting relatives out of town. When MIL returned, her house had been vandalized and robbed. The police investigation revealed that great aunt had told everyone in respite where she lives and that no one was home. They suspected a staff or relative did the break-in. MIL was in her 80's and never thought about having someone watch her farmhouse while she was gone.
You can't "prepare" your husband as his brain is now permanently broken. I would tell him either the day before or the day of that you're going out of town and that he'll be in good hands while you're away. Any time you disrupt a person with dementias routine, they will digress for a bit but hopefully once he's back home he'll readjust. Or maybe this may just be the opportunity you need to get him permanently placed if his care's gotten to be too much for you. Just some food for thought.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
POA, yes, you can have temporary one drawn up.
For my Mom, a respite stay turned into a permanent one because she did so well.
When I placed my Husband for Respite it was in the same place Where I had been taking him for Day Care. (He/we had been asked to not return to the "official" Adult Day Program that he had been going to so I asked a local MC if they would take him for Day Care. and luckily they agreed so when I needed Respite that was the logical thing.)
I also was worried that he would decline to the point that I would be unable to bring him home. That fear never materialized.
He adjusted very well when he returned home, just like he had been gone for just the day.
Suggestions for you.
Appoint someone temporary Guardian just in case they have to make a decision on his care and the facility can not get hold of you. Make sure it is someone that you TRUST and that they are in alignment with you on any treatment.
If the facility where he is going to be will not let you bring him a few times find out if you can at least bring him for lunch. The 2 of you have a lunch and walk around the area where he will be. At least this way the area will be a bit familiar to him.
When you bring him. Keep it simple. Tell him you will see him later. And quietly leave. (to do this you might have to bring the things he will need the day before. Ask the facility what he will need for the length of time he will be there.) If you can get him involved with something to keep him occupied. (you can cry in the car)
I dropped my Husband off the day before I left. That gave me a chance to pack without him seeing a suitcase. I picked him up the day after I returned. This gave me a chance to unpack, do laundry and get some shopping done.
Anticipate that he will decline. If he does that is part of the journey with dementia. He may return to his "baseline" after he gets back home.
If he does not decline then he and you are right where you are now except you have a fresher outlook and are rested.
When MIL returned, her house had been vandalized and robbed. The police investigation revealed that great aunt had told everyone in respite where she lives and that no one was home. They suspected a staff or relative did the break-in. MIL was in her 80's and never thought about having someone watch her farmhouse while she was gone.
I would tell him either the day before or the day of that you're going out of town and that he'll be in good hands while you're away.
Any time you disrupt a person with dementias routine, they will digress for a bit but hopefully once he's back home he'll readjust.
Or maybe this may just be the opportunity you need to get him permanently placed if his care's gotten to be too much for you.
Just some food for thought.