Hello first of all, I’m going to be using voice type so I apologize for any errors that the device will absolutely create.
only child at the age of 63 my parents are both 84. I guess it all started about seven years ago mother went in for her gallbladder surgery and had complications where she almost died from was in the hospital for literally months I think she may have broken the hospitals record. When she was released, my father and myself were worried that she would have to go back in and their farm could be lost due to Medicaid so he found some lawyers and signed the deed to the farm into my name six years ago.
six years progressed and so to the aging of my parents about three years ago my father had some sort of a stroke or heart attack and which reduced mobility and became very unsteady mother fell and broke her hip which she did recover from rapidly I was surprised but she also lost a lot of ability things continued with me driving the hundred plus miles to their farm that was in my name to help them take care of it every week or two more like 2 to 3 weeks. As I age it became harder and harder for me to do that then. then last year was a very bad year dad had his knee replaced, and he had a lot of complications. Then he got a very bad case of shingles, followed by getting a level four out of four is the worst bladder infection which I believe affected his kidneys to degree he was in the hospital for four days. Due to these illnesses and my increasing difficulty of taking care of the farm from over hundred miles away I asked my parents if they would consider looking at other houses which they did. We found one to buy near my area that has two houses on it , so we sold the farm and bought the new place. the plan was I would live in one they would live in the other and I would take care of them in their final days or months or years whatever it is. I thought at this point I had the rest of their lives lined up and we can live happily ever after as the saying goes fairytales seldom don’t work out that way.
for some reason, my father is now asking me to put a majority of the farm in the main house back in his name and I don’t know what to do. he is mid 80s rather they are mid 80s both of them probably take 12 meds a day both are failing in health. We made about several hundred thousand profit on the farm sale and I’m willing to give that to them directly although would be better to put it in some sort of protected fund to protect for Medicaid.
but I am seriously struggling with why of any logical reason besides pride, he would want the farm put back in his name the new farm all I see happening is me having to take care of them as I would’ve anyway and then Medicaid end up getting everything.
this is eating me up and I don’t know what to do. Please help me with advice. Thank you so much.
PSi suspect he is also getting early stage “Lewys Body Dementia” as he has hand shakes, slow gait, often gets quiet/frozen expression and has a very bad memory. He also has severe prostate issues, sleep issues…
When I tried to discuss the issue with his he gets furious.
Just yesterday dad went in to his doctor for an unrelated medical issue. The doctor wrote “Psychiatric:
Comments: Memory impaired, repeating same questions after thorough answers are given “.
this is the first actual note taken officially by a doctor and it was entirely without my prompting.
Are you planning to go to a facility soon or just eventually if needed?
thank you
I met with the elder lawyer.
LOL I thought he would be very vague and offer choices and legal options.
he was anything but, he was DIRECT. And said “under no circumstances should you sign over the property (or even money for that)”. No waffling no other options. He said there was no benefit to doing it, at all.