After 30 years of being wife /carer, I’m tired. My husband was diabetic before we met. Didn’t take any of it seriously, drank heavily, smoked. My role as wife has always been the carer. He’s now reg, blind, has copd, heart disease, some fluid on brain, poor mobility, dementia. I do all care, assist with wash, dress, shower etc. I do all blood tests, injections / insulin. Count carbs in food accordingly. We did have a little care help, but government have now moved financial goal post, so we can’t afford help. I’m doing job of nurse, but I’m NOT A NURSE. No time for me. I can’t be ill, no time for friends, family. I just feel what about ME? After 30 years, I’m thinking of nursing home permanently, but the guilt holds me back... why?
It's very important to realise that your key duty as a wife is to do what is best for your husband. And while there are certain people who will bang on about "in sickness and in health", and make you feel there is some kind of perverse virtue in continuing to suffer as you are, these people are overlooking the practical fact that several highly trained people working as a team can provide *infinitely* *better* care for a man in your husband's physical condition than one exhausted, untrained, heartbroken woman.
Be a good wife to your husband and find the right nursing home. Then you can also get back to being a wife who loves him rather than dreads him.