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Im going to see my only grandson on Christmas day for an hour - it's about all I will get soooooooo we are having a non Christmas Christmas Day which he thinks is wonderful because he will have 2 christmases

Ive never done it before, haven't a clue whether it will work or whether Mum will be confused to hell and back but I will keep you posted
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well in all fairness from other family members.....there are always two sides to the story. my sister chose to make all the decisions for my mother including bringing her home from hospital to (mom's own home) when she was told that mom needed 24/7 care. sister just assumed my sister & I would all be taken equal care of mom. I work 40 hrs per week and watch mom on weekends. my younger sibling works 32 hrs & cares for her disabled son in between & watches mom every open moment she has. my sister has no other obligations to anything else. she had expected us to quit our jobs to help watch mom. this cannot be done and is not going to happen. She makes all the decisions without consulting us & when things go wrong she goes insane. She tells everyone else that she watches mom 24/7 all by herself and that she gets no help from anybody. This is breaking up our family. Mom qualified for Adult Day Care 3 times a week and without our knowledge, my sister refused it because "there were all old people there"---to note: mom is 94 yrs old. She is here own worst enemy. She refuses hired pca care as "it costs money" even though me & my other sister would pay for it. So its a no win situation with her. So please don't assume that other family members are lazy, cruel, bossy or elsewise. There may be other explainable reasons that they step back a little. We are sick of her playing the victim.
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ohJude, I bet it will work wonderful. A long time ago, my great-nieces were little and they were the only grandchildren on both sides of very-upper-middle class families. They got so much for Christmas they couldn't even tear all of the gifts open. The next Thanksgiving we were going to be at my house. I saw a couple of $10.00 Teddy Bears in the supermarket and threw them in the grocery cart. When they came on Thanksgiving, they were thrilled beyond words at the gifts. It was all they got. I had just established a tradition without knowing it. I had found my nitch (even spellcheck can't help me find how to spell this) in their lives.
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It's your home, you can do what you want. It's not easy being a caregiver especially when the person you are caring for takes a lot of time. Sometimes family just don't understand and can be selfish. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging, your local senior center or your local Commission on Aging, they have programs that can give you a break and provide some in home assistance for you to care for your mom. It's understandable you want to spend special time with your grandchildren. starting a new tradition can be a solution. I have family I no longer see because their behavior over the care of a loved one. You are not alone and I certainly understand your frustration. Your sisters sound like bullies and that type of behavior isn't acceptable. You deserve better, you have taken on the responsibility of caring for your parents, give yourself credit. You do need to take time for yourself, even if it's only for a short time. Ask about a family caregiver support group when you call to ask about in home help for your mom. I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive.
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Thank you for all your comments
I would like you all to know that i spent the day with my grand children and had lovely day my son and daughter in law cooked dinner whilst played with the little ones .
It came about as i found out that my two sisters have POA over mum and i made so many demands on them, which left them in a position not to refuse me .Dont get me wrong i love my mum and she gave me her blessing and she went to one of my sisters for the day
i have told them that if they want me to care for mum i want to be payed and want it back dated from the 13 th feb when mum came out of hospital to date that when i get a job mum is not to be left on her own and that they sit with mum when i go want to go out and that i am going on holiday to spain with my partner and they will have to arange between themselfs who stays with mum if they cant do this then i will take them to court to have the POA revoked as i feel they have not got mums best interests at heart
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Well Christmas is over thankfully - Christmas day not good next day worse and today I forgot it was Sunday and so Mum didn't get to church - ears now 'sore' from her constant whinging - hoe the hell can a 93 year old sleep on a clothes line yet manage to return to whinging at me every bloody time she wakes up. I swear her brain is in IT terms 'on loop'.
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Glad you had a great day. You deserve. Great you spoke up. No reason everyone can't do their share.
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Back to the "it isn't fair" thing. You know how you have specific memories that stand out in terms of their life changing value? It was almost 30 years ago yet I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday - I was crying and carrying on to my mother regarding my fiancé who had recently become my ex fiancé. It was my first real broken heart - I said "but it's just not fair"! Mom replied "Fair? Who ever told you life was going to be fair"?! A few weeks ago mom was having a tantrum about something that had happened at her NH - she cried "It just isn't fair"! Guess what I replied. Christmas however, was a good day.
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Jude: I'm VERY SORRY your mom is being so difficult! Prayers and hugs to you!
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Llama thanks hun its 5:50 am here and I have had precisely 45 minutes sleep tonight (last night - whatever!) Mum wakes me , which is fine - sort of, but she goes straight back to sleep while I don't - Now I am hanging and will probably go to sleep in about 10 minutes but I know she will wake me about 6:30 I NEED SLEEP
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