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Lizzy---

Well, this is totally normal on all parts. Sorry to say that, but this "pre transplant-I'm super sick and may die" attitude is REALLY hard to deal with. Your BIL is getting the best care possible, I'm sure. I wouldn't even be surprised to find that my SIL has seen him, he's doing transplant rounds now--(he is going to be a Hepatologist specializing in Liver transplants)...small world.
The whole family needs to be on the same page. Period. The SW is just doing her job (ours was a joke, I asked her for help so many times and she'd push these pamphlets across her desk--she NEVER walked down the hall to even MEET my hubby!)
There likely will be more of these "days", before, or if, your BIL makes it to the actual transplant.
As I have said (and not to appear a saint, which I MOST assuredly am NOT!!) I was the only person on board with hubby's post op care. I had to address the depression he had (and still has, times 10, now)...I had to drive to every single apt and take notes. I had to deal with the ins. co. by myself with hubby second guessing me all the way. I shopped, fed, cleaned, babysat....and hubby wondered why I "tanked" when he was "better".
Maybe there are a few too many of you running to him? I don't know. Hubby would state he wanted visitors, but he slept through most visits and he is almost 100% amnesiac about the 2+ weeks he was in the hospital.
Hang in there, you are SUPPORT, not his primary caregiver.
DEEP BREATH. Many things are out of your control. And good luck. My heart aches for everyone involved in this. NOTHING can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster you're on. Just try to pamper yourself just a little and set boundaries....and know that somebody out in cyberspace really "gets" what you're going through.
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BIL passed away this evening. Today was a train wreck that just couldn't be stopped. 2 of BILs siblings were at the hospital and his son. BILs daughter, his sister, her husband and myself were headed to hospital. BIL died while we were in route. My husband, BILs brother is in Kansas he will be here tomorrow. He is taking it very hard. I just got home from Houston. I will have to tell my son and daughter in the morning. Some deaths are harder than others. This is going to be a hard one. I will be back next week if time allows. This sucks.....
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Lizzy, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Oh Lizzy; I'm so very sorry!
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So sorry for your loss!
Looks like the family were right nearby or coming soon.
May their presence console you.
{{{{Hugs}}}} to you and your family Lizzywho.
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Thanks everyone for your condolences. It has only been 8 days but in a way it feels like it has been a year. Lots of things to get through. Then the scramble through paperwork to try to get taxes to CPA. I was put in charge of that. I pulled an all nighter and we got that delivered today. BIL had a 3 page handwritten and sealed Will in his is safe. The Will was very specific. We had an attorney come to BILs house. There was an old fashioned reading of the Will at the dining room table. This IS Texas y'all. The Attorney is showing the Will to a judge to make sure there are no problems. The Attorney says he sees no problems. Though not recommended holographic Wills are legal in Texas. BIL left a chunk of change to Nephew to pursue becoming a doctor. Everything else split evenly. BILs sister my best friend and I have counseled, advised,etc,etc about not blowing through the money. Kids met with BILs financial advisor today before we met with BILs CPA. They were advised, counseled, etc by both financial advisor and CPA. So...the Old Girls have done all we can do. Now we sit back and watch how this unfolds. BIL was so full of life and everyone in 3 counties best buddy. He and his son traveled the world after his wife passed. BIL could not have crammed 1 more hour of fun into his 52 years. It's almost as if he knew on some level he would not be with us into our old age.
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Lizzywho61,
What you wrote was an amazing eulogy to Bil's life.
" BIL was so full of life and everyone in 3 counties best buddy. He and his son traveled the world after his wife passed. BIL could not have crammed 1 more hour of fun into his 52 years. It's almost as if he knew on some level he would not be with us into our old age."
I sincerely hope you get to share your kind words with your family members.
Just a stranger here, passing by, amazed by your Bil's story and your dedication.
Sorry for your loss.
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Thanks Send,
I could never say the words out loud now to family. There would be major waterworks from all including myself. Someday when time has passed I'm sure there will be a big toast to BIL with frosty beverages. I will throw in my thoughts from what I wrote above. Thanks for the idea!

I read a lot on this site and and occasionally chime in. But mostly just passing by myself. Lots of knowledge and help on this site but I enjoy the fun stuff most of all.
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