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My Mom won't get up anymore in the mornings. She started having issues with mobility about 2 weeks ago. Now she can't stand, get up, or walk on her own. I have been putting her in a transport chair in the mornings, but today she doesn't seem to want to get up at all. She has been sleeping longer and longer every day. She has also been taking in very little fluid (maybe 8 - 12 oz a day) and very little food if any. I don't know what to do. Should I just let her continue on this way? I took her to the doctor and he said this is just part of her normal decline. She has Frontal Temporal Dementia but is still communicating with me, though I am not sure she is aware all the time what is going on. Any suggestions?

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If you have access to VNA Hospice take advantage of it.They are so caring and helpful. In my situation, we have the finances to bring in private 24/7 care. These people have gotten Mom to eat even when she says she's not hungry, bathe her and get out of bed to watch TV. Best of luck and my prayers are with you.
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I want to thank everyone for their responses to this post. It has been so very helpful to me. We just had Hospice come in and give us a consultation. They did agree that my Mom is ready for Hospice and in most likely hood only has a short time left, possibly weeks. I appreciate so much everyone's input. Making the decision to have Hospice come was hard, but I am so glad that I did. I feel a great deal of relief to know what is happening and what we need to plan for. For those of you who seem to be in a similar situation as I am, please get some assistance and contact Hospice. If your loved one isn't ready, they will let you know. At least you will have some sort of advice that can help you with making decisions. Thanks again to all of you.
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Oh yellowfever, I went thru the impaction in the ER with my mom over a year ago. She started on 2 Tablespoons of miralax in her tea every morning, and we are down to just 1 teaspoon daily and she is ALWAYS fine now. (I get her to drink 4 ozs with it by holding a straw up to her)The Dr says its fine to do it daily and its been our savior.(of course check with your dr) Its hard gettng adjusted as the large dosage I started off with made her have diareahea at first but now we are fine here. If your Mom is impacted, its impacted all the way up her colon , which is bad. There is a vagus nerve near their anus which can give them a stroke or heart attack I was told in the hospital so I dont do it myself now, I did once and the 2nd time we went to the ER. (what a horrible experience, never again)
Poor thing, and poor you. I also have a great recipe for giving her to eat like 1/4 cup of daily, or with her morning pills: The dr told me they eat it up at the nursing homes and it keeps them under control. I used to do it twice a day but now only mornings so she gets "rid of it" during the day.........................
Cook on the stove in a small pan..
I can of prune juice (5.5 ozs)
2/3 cup applesauce
2/3 cup bran flakes (or raisin bran)
Heat it on low until it all dissolves. I add sugar also to make it sweeter and she loves it .
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My mom is doing the same, hardly any fluids or food. Her average intake a day is 6-8 oz of fluid and (2-3) 3.5oz of baby food (calorie intake between 180-250/day)that I feed to her thru medicine syringe. My mom has been on Hospice since May. I feared that she was starving. But Hospice nurse reassured me that her body is adjusting to her decline in health and she no longer needs alot to survive. My mother is in last stage Dementia.
If your mom is sleeping reasonable thru the night, then let her sleep during the day. Example yesterday mom sleep a total of 18 hours, today she has been awake since 6am so its a sleep rollercoaster here. But trust me from experience, the more you try to fight them to "wake up" or "stay awake" they more they fight it. Mom will become so restless and anxious when I force her to stay up. Thats where Hospice has helped me understand its okay for that extra sleep. I now know that when she is sleeping she is at peace.
Talk to her doctor and see if Hospice is right for her at this time. I am so pleased with the support system mom has 24/7 from Hospice.
**One more thing*** Since your mother is no longer moving alot or eating alot be attentive to her Bowel movements. Even though your mom doesn't have a good intake she still should be moving her bowels somewhat every 3 days(Hospice advised). My mother gets impacted alot now. It might gross you out but you need to check for impaction and disimpact if nessecary. If you don't feel comfortable thats where Hospice nurse will come in handy for you. Twice this week I had to "clean out" mom. I don't need to worry about the urine end cause mom has a foley. This is something that I might have overlooked if it wasn't for the nurse.
Don't stress too much she will awaken and eat when she is ready. I spent weeks freaking out when mom started like your mom. Now when her eyes open I am standing there with food and fluid ready to shove in. At this point thats the best I can do is TRY!!!!
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She needs to be evaluated for depression through a testing screen called the Cornell Depression Screen. She can receive some medication to make her a little more "with it". The problem with staying in bed all day is that she becomes a risk for developing bed sores or decubidus. This is extremely painful. Keeping her a bit mobile also help to prevent contractures of her limbs. You might want to consider getting a home nurse to help. If the finances don't allow that, get her screened by you local area on aging, so that you can get services from that. Also, you may want to join a support group through the Alzheimer's Association. You will find support from others who are in the same footsteps as you. Hope that helps!
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Thanks quakerite, can you please contact them to tell them you hit me by mistake, lol, thats all I need. I will look for one!
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To luvmom - I got the lamp from Gaiam. I think it's called the happy light. About $200. I use it too when I'm doing yoga - it's great! (p.s. I accidentally hit "report this post" when I was going to respond to you - hope the internet police don't drag you away).
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Good Evening All. I am so happy to be able to read the suggestions in this post. I am lucky enough to care for my Mom 24/7 in order to repay her a very small amount for what she has done for me in my 51 years of life. This will most likely not help or be relative to the question at hand, but a friend of my Mother's sent me info on a study that was being done linking sleep apnea with dementia. It just happened to come at the time that I was hearing all sorts of strange noises coming from her room in the middle of the night. I was not sleeping much at all in the beginning of all this. Turns out she does have sleep apnea and stops breathing about 30-50 times an hour! She uses a c-pap machine now and she is not cured, but her memory has definetely improved and she is MUCH sharper! She almost NEVER takes naps any more and wants to go all the time. She's actually wearing me out! The study also showed that there have been mis-diagnoses of dementia when it was only sleep apnea. Just wanted to put that out there. God Bless You All for caring for your loved ones!!!!!!
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Good info again. MY Mom cannot do daycare any longer because we cannot get her into the car without a struggle and her sight is half gone along with her walking. Can I ask where you got the mood light, I think thats a great idea.
How do all of you keep your loved ones DRY sleeping so long? Any good diapers out there? I used depends with extra pads in them and a cheapo diaper over all of that and she still wets thru. I cut the late fluids too, ugh. How long is long to sleep, I fugure anything over 12 hours is dangerous, any one know? Thanks all ...
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I think that hospice/ palliative care consult is a good idea. It is difficult to tell if "this is it" or your mom needs motivation and routine activity to lively her up. I am a nurse, but i am hospital trained, and was not attuned to the changes in my mom in the 3 years i cared for her. My patients either got better and left the hospital or were acutely ill and died. My mom died in March @ 96 y.o.God love you for what you and all of you do. Jean
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When my aunt first moved in with me, she slept all the time, seemed very lethargic, very hopeless. Her doctor wanted to put her on a mood stabilizer. I asked that he let me see if I could motivate her a bit. 2 months later, he looked at me in surprise, saying he'd never seen someone that age (93) blossom like that. I put her in adult day care which has a lot of activities, bingo, daily lunch, lots of people - she thinks she works there. She also does exercise there twice each visit. I got a mood light which she sits in front of 30 minutes daily. She is now 94 and lively, enjoying tv and plays and musical events. She has vascular dementia, and one of its hallmarks is lots of sleeping. I let her sleep as long as she likes on Tues, thurs, and Sat because she's wiped out from day care on monday, wed., and friday. This is just our experience - you're doing the right thing by asking for a wide variety of responses. Also, I would recommend the website "Alzheimer's Reading Room." It is a lifesaver! Hang in - and be sure you get plenty of sleep and take care of yourself.
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If there is not a reversible medical problem going on - and remember people with dementia many time can't or won't communicate symptoms accurately or at all, such as pain, infection, constipation, stomach or abdominal pain that would make them either tired or agitated and uncomfortable eating, then it might just be nearing the end. But don't necessarily let a doc just automatically assume that's it. And always consider side effects of medication. Sedative side effects may be worse at the same dose as someone ages, and other side effects may worsen or change as well. Some side effects even crop up gradually witlh longer duration of use of the drug, particularly antipsychotics.
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irwinsu, there are some very good tips and hints in these posts about if and how to get a loved one moving. For everything there is a season. If this is your mother's body's season to shut down for passing, then not all of the advice that applies to and works for people in other seasons will work for your mother. Pallative/Hospice care professionals are very familiar with the body's final season and can be extremely helpful at this time.

Blessings to you and to your mother.
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Yes it is harmful, it can lead to dementia, and strokes. She is used to doing this and won't want her routine changed, but for her benefit, and health, get her up.
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Hello Again,
I just wanted to add this article link. My dad gets B12 shots once a month (along with Testosterone shots) which helps his dementia and his ability to walk. I believe it especially helps frontal lobe dementia. Worth researching and asking the doctor.
To luvmom: my dad is essentially like your mom--his knees give out and it's scary--he also tends to walk as if there is a chair behind him ready to catch him (and most of the time there is, but I encourage him to push his belly forward to straighten up as best he can and most days he can). Some of that posture is fear of falling too. And yes, they must keep trying to walk. It helps to have a walker in front of your mom in addition to a transport wheelchair (the small ones) behind her--that way she may feel more comfortable walking and you know you have a backup in case her legs give out before she makes it to the toilet (been there!). I, too, dread the thought of my dad being bed-ridden. He is 90 and still doing pretty well, all things considered, but we do have those scary days as you describe and I am alone taking care of him. Yes, my dad has good days where he is in good spirits and days when he is grumpy or depressed too so I put on funny movies or try to jog memories of funny times. He takes 10mg Lexapro (anti-depressant) which I think helps a little also. You are doing a great job with your mom. Hope my info helps. :-)
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Follow the advice of JeanneGibbs and look into Hospice or palliative care. Hospice is wonderful and they are making my Mothers life and mine easier. And they provide a good education on what to expect with end of life issues (your Dr. doesn't sound too helpful in this regard).
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Good posting. My Mom has been bukling at the knees often especially when trying to get her out of a chair. Getting her out of bed is a huge hassle and depending on the day, I have to pull her up. Once I pull her up and she yells, I quickly talk about the birds ouside, etc and she is fine. Most days she can walk with me pullingher both hands while I walk backwards to the bathroom but some days she cannot , she walks in a sitting position and I pray we make it before she falls, awful!
IF I didnt make her drink, usually with a straw, she wouldnt. She loves yogurt and puddings now and seems to eat if I help her . The bright Trix colors gets her to eat her finger food when I sprinkle them around but she cannot use silverware. I cannot find a person for two days a week to help me now so I can go back to work in sept because she wont get up. My 3 day a week woman is fabulous, its so hard to find good understanding trained people. I have mountains of pj's and bedpads that are all urine, nothing seems to keep her dry at night, and I am a slave to laundry now no matter what I try. Everynight I throw in a disenfectant load with bleach and hot water for 2.5 hours. She seems to release her urine at night when she is relaxed and rarely during the day. I tried to change her in bed one day and she kicked and yelled, it was impossible. I need help too so I will be watching these postings closely. Our breakfast has also turned into Brunch. I hate to use the wheelchair as that will stop her from moving all together so I make her walk as much as I can. I guess they get frozen joints if they dont move so I try my best. Today Mom is barely smiling and can barely keep awake, some days she smiles and chuckles all day long, anyone elses like this? I cannot imagine my mom in bed 100% for 1,2,3, or 4 years, that thought sickens me. Mom at least she has a living will in which she refuses a feeding tube, that I do understand as I wouldnt want one either unless I could recover. Its so tough....................
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At least she just sleeps in in the morning. My dad has been sleeping all day every day for years. When we ask why and ask the doctor why he may be doing this the answer is I don't know and that is what he wants to do for the rest of his earthly life, so I get him up for meals he gets up to use the bathroom or if he really wants he will get up to go out to eat. He loves to eat out but he can't afford to do it every day and I don't have a job for extra money so we eat home most days. Any way that's what's happening at this house. Just keep up the good work and take care of yourself too.
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Please call your Hospice people. They are sent from Heaven. I could not have made it with my mom if not for them. They will look after your mom with you and explain each thing that is happening to her. They are comfort itself, next to God.
God bless you
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My Mom would sleep forever if she could. I have a more than full-time job and just can't get her up. So, I have a home health aide who comes and gets her up, bathed, dressed, fed and off to the Senior Day Care Center. Fortunately, this aide has seen it all because my Mom is starting to cuss her out and slap at her. Mom never cussed in her life. She goes to bed around 8Pm even on the weekend when she sleeps in until 2 PM. She plays with her food like a child playing with toys. But, she is healthy and very sweet to the others at the Day Center. I wish some of that sweetness could be reserved for her family. I miss my Mom so much.
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Hi I have seen this with my Granny and my mother who recently passed (age 90), it seems like they adjusted to our schedule of sleeping in later. The food and water intake is a concern as this is this is a sign of retinal faiure and you should offer snacks and drinks as often as possible. They really don't eat as much because they are not moving around. Give them what they want ie chocolate, jello, juice, anything with some nutriental value even of you think its not good for them. This at best is a sign of intake of fluids and some kind of food!
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My Dad also has frontal temporal lobe dementia (for about 8 yrs). If he had his way he would stay in bed all day but my mom, his primary caretaker, makes him get up by 1PM every day (some days earlier if there are things to done). It takes a while for her to get him cleaned and dressed and then he eats a HUGE breakfast/lunch- waffles (cut up), covered in yogurt and fruit on top. He will have an ensure a few hours later with a snack (we have to encourage him to keep drinking) and then by dinner time he is wiped out (from just sitting around) but we try to keep him up until 9P but most nights he is in bed around 8PM. Dinner has become difficult since my mom cooks just for the 2 of them and there are fewer and fewer foods he will eat (he no longer really enjoys food). He has good days (when he knows who we are) and bad days when he is really lost but he is not angry or sad which is really good. To answer your question about letting your mom stay in bed- I would say get as much as you can get done in the mornings while she is still in bed and work on getting her up and about by noon- like someone else said, a routine is really, really helpful (my dad goes for balance therapy 2x/wk and although sometimes it is a struggle to get him there he always likes it). If you come up with any other suggestions please let us know.
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My dad has dementia and I care for him at home. He needs my help for mobility, bathing, etc.. I have found that it helps to keep a routine as much as possible. They get used to the routine and it helps them be less resistant. If you're able to help your mom move around safely (if only to get out of bed and use the toilet), then do so. As for food, make sure she gets something like Ensure which is easy to swallow and has some nutritive value. My dad only likes to eat soft, no-chew foods like mashed potatoes, pudding, ice cream or soft-cooked veggies. See if the eating issue with your mom is just that she has a hard time chewing, I make my dad protein shakes with chocolate almond milk, protein powder and frozen blueberries--to him it's just a choc milkshake but I know he's getting some good nutrients/vitamins too. I also have to remind him to drink more water/juice--a little at a time. It's good that your mom can still communicate with you. Best wishes to you and your mom.
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When my mom is in her room or in her bed too long I call on her favorite person to come and visit or fix her favorite foods and that usually gets her started. She will get out of bed and start moving around. I try to please her as much as possible since she can't tell me what she wants anymore. If she doesn't look sick and her skin color is good, I usually leave her alone.
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Has her doctor mentioned Pallative Care or Hospice? Those services can be a comfort to you and to your mom, if she is in the end-of-life stage. The staff that comes to help can help you understand what is going on in your mom, and the options for dealing with it.
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my husband has AlZ since 07. He too is eating and drinking about like your mom.
Doctors say its just a matter of weeks maybe months. He is able to walk slowly, but does not understand whats going on. some days worse than others. He wears Depends of course but pees once a day and that is at night. His bowels move once and it really is not in the depend its in him. I have to get that out, which is a job. He on the other hand does not sleep much at all. He will go to bed at night if I lay down with him but only sleeps at night. Never naps. Doctor says he could put feeding tube in but I dont want that. That is not living its just prolonging.
God Bless you I will pray for you and your Mom.
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