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Hi,Mom passed away in late January from dementia at 88, I took care of her and it's been quite a busy year of doing all the things that you need to do when someone passes, I miss my mom very much- she was the best in the mom business! 57 years in my life and now 11 months out... went to my first grief support group meeting yesterday and someone said "Deep grief equals deep love"-so true. Happy holidays to one and all.

My mom passed 12 years ago from Alzheimer’s and pneumonia. When she died (1-17-12) she was no longer my mother. I didn’t even recognize her anymore. Who ever that was that died wasn’t my mom. So I was morning an empty container. She was my best friend until Alzheimer’s took her away. Theoretically my mom died probably in 2002 when the disease started taking a foothold. By the time she passed, I had PTSD been killing my self trying to take care of her, my dad (also with dementia) and a family of 6. My dad died 40 days after my mom. I never got any aftercare. Then 6 months later I fell apart. Pulled myself back together and carried on. Devoted the rest of my career to taking care of people with Alzheimer’s and dementia on behalf of my parents legacy. So my ethos is “I was born to serve”. Therefore I do. On their behalf. Vowing to treat each persons as though they are as near and dear to me as my parents.
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Reply to Dementia153
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Happy Holidays, Elvis. Good on you for going to grief group. When you can "stay busy" you are occupied, and when things are more settled you it there and say "What do you MEAN I won't see her again in this life???!!!" I think you have this, and I think you will be fine, but I am so glad you are getting the help we all should get for ourselves.

I like you had one of those best mom's in the business of being a mom. I am 82 now, and I swear she and my dad are still right here with me any time I need them. They gave the best advice and the best love and I can still hear the advice and feel the love.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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May you receive peace in your heart and be comforted by all the loving memories. Have a Merry Christmas to you and a healing New Year.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Still missing my mom, after so long I’ve decided it will not fade. It does become easier to live with though. Your mom had fourteen more years than mine, I hope they were enjoyable for you both. I’m glad you’re in a support group and hope you’ll find peace. Happy holidays to you as well.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Count yourself very lucky that you had a mom that was "the best in the business"!
I have read far to many posts here that when I read a post like yours it makes me happy.
By the way she is still with you. I bet there are times when you look in the mirror or catch your reflection in a store window that you get a quick glimpse of her. Or you find yourself saying exactly what she has said to you. (It has been about 59 years since my mom died and I can still hear her tell me to "stand up strait and pick up your feet when you walk!"...I went through my childhood with blood blisters on my big toes cuz I stubbed them all the time!)

Happy holidays to you and your family.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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OP I still miss my M too, although it’s much longer since her death. It was fairly quick from cancer at78, and her character stayed the same until the end. I think I was lucky, and perhaps you are too. And perhaps both our mothers as well. Love, Margaret
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