Finally dad is ready, last week, we found a group home to move mom to. Dad is 2nd guessing the decision, mostly because of how much he wrote a check for. In our mind, it is not an option for mom to go back home, but dad is in charge. This article talks about boundaries, it hits on a few marks. We don't think it's an option to move mom again, and yet dad is calling the plan. AND dad calls us when mom is not doing well. We want to strengthen boundaries AND make sure mom is being taken care of well. Any other advice?
You may want to tell your Dad about that percentage, maybe then he will understand why it now takes a village to care for your Mom.
No older person wants to make these major life transitions.
While I realize we do not know the entire picture, these decisions must be made for the welfare of the person(s) involved. Leaving it up to your dad is how 'emergency' in-the-moment decisions must be made. And, then those decisions and needs cannot always be met in the moment.
Whatever leverage or legal authority you have now, use it.
If you do not have any legal authorization, consider :
Have an ind medical social worker or an elder care case manager talk to him if you cannot convince him of what needs to change.
It is certainly a plus that your dad is reconsidering his decisions due to finances.
Take care of your own emotional needs and health:
* exercise
* eat healthy
* get a massage
* lean on friends who are active listeners
* get support wherever you can
* keep a journal
* make time for fun and a relaxing bath
gena / touch matters
Read the book boundaries. Sit your father down and explain that you will not be assisting in his bad decisions like bringing mom home. If he can't get a refund from the care home, remind him of that. It's a good investment and he might as well make good use out of it.