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Takes pictures of her pretty’s, show pics to caretakers, and let them know if she gives anything to them you expect them to give it back to you.
in other words, I know you wouldn’t want to take advantage of my elderly mother 🙄
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Great idea!
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I was told by Council on Aging not to give anything to caregivers, not even Christmas gifts. Any gift is supposed to be given to the agency to forward to the caregiver.

Do people follow these rules? Not always.

It seems that the easiest solution is to remove items of value. Why is your mom giving things away? Can you explain the situation a bit more please?

Best wishes to you and your family.
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gdaughter Feb 2020
I've never heard of an agency being the intermediary...maybe it is to make sure the item is a token and not of great value. Our policy is no gifts, no tipping. We make it known for those insistent on wanting to give that we do have a staff appreciation fund that benefits all for the same reason.
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Caregivers should not be accepting ANY items that mom is "giving" away.
This might be considered financial abuse if the items are valuable. Might also be considered theft if mom is not cognizant of what she is doing.
If the caregivers have been hired privately then you tell them they can not accept anything that mom gives them. If they have been hired through an agency this needs to be discussed with their supervisor.
This is a boundary issue.
I would inventory items that are of value. Remove items that have value. If possible do a video inventory as well.
You can put cameras in the house so you can monitor what is going on. You can not audio record though and you can not place cameras in places where one expects privacy like a bathroom.
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gdaughter Feb 2020
totally agree...and that might be the one place they stash something until they can use the bathroom and pocket it. I work for an agency and the homemaker program policy has evolved over decades. I still recall some awful situations that developed and inspired things...that we couldn't easily anticipate. For example the woman who persisted in giving her aide a sewing machine she insisted she was going to throw out otherwise...but then imposed on the homemaker to mend some clothing items on her own time...or the sisters who were going to sell their car on the open market anyhow. That never happened before or after and was a done deal before we knew about it...Less of an issue since it was fair market value...(a very old car). Any time anyone in these circumstances gives someone helping them a gift, it can have unexpected repercussions at the very least of them then expecting "special" treatment.
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Totally inappropriate of caregivers to accept items. They are in the home to do a job, not to get stuff. Please make this clear to them and also remove anything you’re concerned about disappearing.
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gdaughter Feb 2020
Actually, I hate to say this...but even the nicest seeming and most trusting caregivers, unless you truly know them, can be thieves...it's so easy to slip in, take something rarely used/seen and be gone with it. And no way to prove/track...so before caregivers are in your home, if you don't know them/they are from an agency take all the valuables out. I know we nice people would feel it makes us look untrusting of them...but at our house...I am very grateful for a door with an exterior, key required locking knob. We have to keep my pup in here because there is no way mom can handle her and she could let her out. So I have all the good stuff locked up in here.
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This shouldn't be happening.  Your Mother is obviously a very loving, generous person, but her personal belongings should remain with the family.  I would speak to the caregivers and tell them that the family is sentimental about her belongings and ask that they refuse her "gifts."  If there's anything of value (jewelry, for example)  I would quietly remove these things - before they're gone.  This needs to be addressed immediately.  Good luck to you.
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