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I Cared for my Mother 24/7 Who had alzheimers in Moms own home for three years until She died at age 87 years. One day I asked Mom this Question.....what if I said when You grow into old age and you can not eat solid food, would You opt for a feeding tube to be inserted ? Moms answer left me in no doubt and What a beautiful answer Mother gave me.
NO PLEASE NO, LET ME GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT
AND DO NOT PROLONG MY AGONY ANY LONGER,
WE (Mothers Generation) MUST GO TO MAKE WAY FOR THE YOUNG BECAUSE THE YOUTH MUST HAVE THEIR FLING, WE HAVE HAD OUR TIME AND NOW THE TIME IS THEIRS TO LIVE AND LOVE AND TOIL AS WE HAVE DONE.
I remember looking at Mother as I uttered wow, and She replied "I AM NOT GOING TO LIVE FOREVER.
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When my dad went into his final decline it was quite rapid. He was eating by himself then one day wasn’t very hungry and that was it for him eating. The aides didn’t push him to eat or feed him. I would never have suggested a feeding tube. Dementia is a cruel disease every one progresses at their own rate. I would recommend calling hospice.
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Like others have said, at this point a feeding tube is prolonging agony. I cared for my mom 24/7 until she passed in April. I held her hand the last 7 days, when she could no longer swallow. I was holding her hand as she took her last breath. It was a very sweet time... Peaceful.

Feeding tubes cause pain, swelling, etc. When the body and mind are shooting down and ready to go, it is time to help your loved one pass. Tell them you love them, and that it is okay to let go. I told my mom she would be greeted on the other side. That she was a good person and always did her best. That she would always be with me in my heart.

Talk to your loved one, play music, sing, tell sweet stories, hold hands, ... Just love them as they pass from this life.
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My prayers are with you and MOM but please enjoy and treasure the time left with MOM. Let her know you're there for her but don't put her body through anymore pain with a feeding tube and try to accept that she's ok
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Do u think she would want her life prolonged under these conditions. U know her better than anyone. Have u considered talking to hospice? My 103 year old aunt lives with my husband and I. She has declined rapidly over the last few months. I’m trying very hard to just allow her to be comfortable and not coerce and cajole her into eating, drinking, etc....but is is hard to see them fail daily, as I know it is with you for your mom. Consider just letting her be comfortable in these last days. You are doing all you can. Prayers...
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Don't do it. It will only prolong her suffering.
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Garleani4
you don’t have 4 months to make the decision whether to put a feeding tube into your mom or not! She will most likely die of malnutrition by then! I believe inserting a feeding tube is what I would do. She may not get better mentally but she will not starve to death because of your decision to not put the tube! Besides, only God will call her when it’s her time. In the meantime you help your mom livevas long as possible without making suffer! I’m going through the same thing!
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worriedinCali Sep 2018
she will not die of malnutrition. A feeding tube and food her body cannot digest will cause far more discomfort and suffering than malnutrition.
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Wow, I am sorry all the previous answers are so negative. My mom is a fighter and has a feeding tube . She wouldn’t want to give up her
life because she can’t eat a steak. She gets yogurt and fruit shakes, ice cream and soup but it’s not enough nutrition like the liquid hope- an organic tube feed formula. She’s had this tube since 2015 and still is healing. She made the choice to do whatever measures necessary to save her and god blesses her every day. Get the tube and get good food for her tube feed. It heals in a month. Too bad there are only people who have negative thing to say about this.
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I suggest that you look into reishi and skullcap mushrooms as well as Hemp CBD oil as possible cures or reversal of symptoms. search for "cures for dementia/Alzheimers". There are some solutions out there that you can look at in parallel with your tough decisions ahead of you. Blessings and prayers to you both. God will guide you with prayer.
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When I had been Caring for my own Mother Who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's I did ask that Question one day since I needed to know Moms take on the feeding tube should We be faced with that situation. Wow the answer Mother made to me left me in no doubt...
NO NO LEAVE ME GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT,
WHY PROLONG MY LIFE BEYOND ITS END,
WE MUST GO TO MAKE WAY FOR THE YOUNG,
BECAUSE THE YOUTH MUST HAVE THEIR FLING,
WE HAVE HAD OUR TIME, AND NOW THAT TIME IS THEIRS TO LIVE AND LOVE AND TOIL,
AS WE HAVE DONE.
Mother died as She had Lived with a beautiful smile on Her face.
Mom lived through very hard times and always loved to recall stories of Her Youth and how She loved dancing. Yes
She was a great Character, and at the ripe old age of 87 years Mother was called to God. While I do miss my best Friend, I thank Our Blessed Lady every day for all the wonderful years We had together. Rest in peace.
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