She's secretive about her money also. I'm on her account. I'm on her bank account, but she doesn't want me doing anything with it. She let me know that she thought she was paying my electric bill. I had to print out her bills and MINE and take them to her so she could line them up with her bank statements. She says things that are rude, she hasn't talked to my sister in over 2 years. My brother wont even come to see her but once a year. I could go on about how she will only associate with people who meet her criteria, who look just right, dress just right, etc. Seriously, are all old people mean?
My mother never associated with anyone much at all though she gushed at a distance over anyone who had a huge house, expensive car and so on. She could never grasp the suggestion that, for all she knew, the house was mortgaged to the hilt, the car was a leaser and those people might be up to their eyeballs in debt.
I'm grateful that my father was a very practical man, never had a credit card and was happy with whatever he had which has rubbed off on me. I live very simply in a tiny cottage in the country, my truck is covered in mud and dog hair - both paid for and I have no debts - and I probably look like a bag lady most of the time but we have water, plenty of food, warmth and nice beds. We have all we need and I'm perfectly content.
Once, when I went to visit my 94 year old great aunt, I saw among her mail a letter sent round to all the residents in her apartment block by a young man who had sublet the ground floor flat from his parents. He was writing to apologise formally for coming in at all hours, holding a party, and playing loud music - clearly, the Residents' Association had "sent the boys round." When I asked Leah if she'd been disturbed by this anti-social behaviour, she shrugged and said "I'm just glad to be able to hear anything." Leah was blithe, generous, grateful and loving, and remained so until her death at 99 and three quarters. I have no idea what her secret was.
i work for a lot of wealthy people and id like to add that many are spoiled, self centered jerks and liars, and are miserable. money might be a necessity but it wont guarantee happiness or peace of mind.
My mom is hateful at times, loving and cooperative when she wants her way. She too is cranky and accusative, paranoid and jealous and these behaviors have gotten worse and more pronounced with her dementia.
I don't take it personally (although a struggle at times) but remind myself to be kind to her and others and hope I'm extended same in return especially in old age.
Don't judge everyone who is old the same. You will find many the exception.
My aunt 95 was a delight, my uncle 83 died caring about others and my dad 92 showed me nothing but gratitude and love even through his hardest days. Grandma's, 95, biggest last regret was she had become less useful to us, she wanted to continue caring for us.
However, uncle was never "fun or lighthearted", dad could be quiet pushy and beware if you got in granny's way. These are my loved ones who have passed. All were normal with good and bad traits, and the remained that way. Except my aunt she was always a blast, the original cougar left behind a loving morning handsome boyfriend 17 years her Jr., he was by her side to the end,..but I digress.
People (excluding dementia brain changes) do not change personalities because they age, they can become more vulnerable and self-concerned thereby self centered as they become sicker and weaker. How they deal with this is driven by their personality
I also have elderly neighbors that are lovely and one that is a raging b--tch, but she was a b--tch when I moved here 20 years ago.
I have no experience with dementia. I also believe some medications can make you act wacky.
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