i.e. bad doctors, bad gardeners, etc?
Every time I see my mother all she talks about is negative stuff, it is so hard for me to listen to. There is never, and I mean never anything good that she talks about. The adult grandchildren really don't see her, because of this. My father died about 6 years ago, she was negative then but now it is terrible. She mostly sits at home all day, she is 85 years old. She keeps talking about all the doctor appointment she needs, eye doctor, skin doctor, etc, but never makes the appointments - we finally got rid of her car this year, and she still talks about how she wishes she had the car, which she hadn't driven in over a year, and even then maybe once or twice. I drive her to all her appointments, with a full time job.
doesn't have anything good or happy to talk
about.i know because i live alone with no one
to talk with during the day. All you have to is
the bad to talk about. Maybe arrangements for
some positive things to happen to give her
something better to talk about at the end of her day.
I go through the same. No one comes by or calls all
day so nothing positive to talk about.
Is hard to do at best
Made even worse through lack of sleep
You know you need to rest
But no the drone goes on and on
This is bad... that's worse
Is it any wonder
That you leave the room and curse?
I swear being negative makes her happy
Being positive makes her sad
And when she has no-one else to abuse
Its always me that is so bad
Keep this in mind my caring friends
Stay positive and never lose it
For when its your turn for a care home
Remember its your kids who will choose it!
xx
(C'mon... we cold all use a good laugh!)
I wonder if trying to top a negative person would break the train of thought--everything she says, say something even more negative, even ridiculously awful. At least, you might get a laugh out of it. Yes, there are people who can't see the bright side of anything and don't want to. Or take a little DVD player and a stack of old Lucy episodes.
Another thing you can do if the TV or radio is on is greatly increase the volume as soon as she starts in order to send a more subtle hint and drown her out each and every time she starts. This will require you to always have the remotes on you.
If this happens over the phone, just drop the call. If she calls back, just hit the reject button or block her number altogether.
What she can do if she has a tablet or some kind of computer is do some journaling and just write about what's on her mind instead of wearing out the people around her. Journaling really helps a lot when you just open up the notepad of something like a tablet or iPad and just start typing about what's on your mind or what hurts. I sometimes journal to God or even people I knew who since died. The reason why I journal to those specific people is because things are coming out that really need to be said that I wasn't allowed to tell them to their face
For example, a couple that bickers constantly may not have any other type of conversation. One or the other may use the bickering to engage the non talkative partner in conversation. All other attempts at conversation may have failed for the couple, but by golly the wife can get him to bicker! That then satisfies her need to converse. They need to engage somehow because they are human, but negative conversation is not helpful in the long run. Complaining also can be used to try and hurt the person they are talking with, like a verbal punishment, or to share the misery.
Whether with children, or old folks take a good look at the tone of conversation, it's intriguing. NOW how to keep it healthy and positive? No whining, no depressing thoughts, no complaining. It's hard. Try being positive, and pointing out the good things, but it may not be enough. Seek help for your LO, written material, or counseling, medication, etc..