Mom has Alz, she's had a stroke which caused a huge hearing problem. I spent $4,000 on the state of the art hearing aids. She refuses to wear them. I have a speech impediment b/c I was born w/ Cerebral Palsy. The last time I visited Mom, I totally lost my patience w/ her. She keeps saying "TALK LOUDER" which is something I cannot physically do. Advice?? Mom is well cared for in an Alhz, unit of an assisted living facility. From what I read, she is late stage 4/early 5. How often should I visit her?
Hearing is a much more complex process than just sound reaching the inner ear and then the brain, because the brain then has to process what it has heard. The trouble is that because we lose hearing so gradually, and because it's such a nuisance to correct, by the time we get round to buying hearing aids the loss is going to be very marked and, even more to the point, the processing part of the brain will be rusty and cobwebby. It takes time, patience and brain retraining to get your aids to work well, and to be honest if you're fed up and old and tired anyway you're just not likely to be in the mood to put in the necessary diligence. That's why so many of these insanely expensive gizmos get put away in a drawer and are never seen again.
Think of it not so much as putting on a pair of glasses as turning on a bright light. Where before there was an absence of sound, there is suddenly a heck of a racket - it's uncomfortable, and your poor brain is wrenched back into action and forced to deal with a job it hasn't been doing for years.
A good audiologist, or a really good commercial hearing technician if you're lucky enough to have one, will take your elder carefully through the process. Be there at the appointment, write down the instructions, and follow them conscientiously - or as conscientiously as your elder will co-operate with, at least, and good luck with that.
Broadly, the trick is to reintroduce the concept of hearing gradually. Routine and repetition are the key. The aids go in after your morning wash. Actively listen *to* something - music, a favourite radio programme, something you want to hear. Do that for an hour, gradually increasing the length of time. Vary the sounds being listened to. Keep at it. Come the Oh Happy Day, the benefit of hearing something you want to hear will outweigh the discomfort and inconvenience of having to fiddle about and stick bits of hard, noisy plastic in your ears; and after that it's a less daunting challenge to keep going.
And be a good patient/customer - go back regularly to have them adjusted, keep your devices properly clean, keep zillions of spare batteries, etc.
And, by the way, there was a report in the BMJ the other week on various methods of dewaxing ears, and it turns out that audiologists and ENT surgeons don't rate *any* of them - syringing, hooking, drops, they chucked out the lot and dismissed them as either useless or potentially damaging. They didn't say what you *should* do, mind; other than let your ears clean themselves, don't stick anything in them that's smaller than your elbow, and if wax gets really impacted they'll deal with it.
Just FYI, Costco carries hearing aids that are quality & state of the art, and are several thousand dollars less than at an audiologist's office. Costco will do a comprehensive hearing test & then let you demo a pair of hearing aids to walk around the store & shop to see what the quality of hearing improvement is. My mother got 2 digital hearing aids for less than $2,000. The people that work in the hearing aid department are very nice, efficient & great with elderly people. All follow up appointments are free, cleanings are free. There is such a markup on hearing aids that audiologists sell, and audiologists are very mad that Costco is now selling hearing aids because it greatly cuts into their profits. I think it is unethical & downright mean to charge $5,000 or $6,000 for a pair of hearing aids when you can get a pair of aids for less than $2,000. And insurance won't pay for them, which is a whole other issue. I don't think I would pay $6,000 for hearing aids either. But, there is an alternative, thanks to Costco.
Plus my Dad will get bored, get a cart and start roaming.... when my Mom and I are ready to leave, it takes me a good half hour trying to locate Dad in the store :P By then, I feel too exhausted to even drive them back home. Thus, I am Too Old For This.
Due to the forgetfullness caused by dementia and macular degeneration, I used large dry erase boards, thick markers, 2 inch tall text or larger. Eventually only black on white will be seen as color blending sets in. I also carry a clipboard with blank white paper, a black chesel tip thick marker, and scotch tape to avoid dementia's 20 thousand repeated questions. I am confident from what I see in her mannerisms that having those notes "We are going to a doctor's appt. today", "We are celebrating your sister's birthday today.", etc. keep her fear at bay and give her the security she likes to have. It is comforting to me that she will seek out the notes when the anxiousness/forgetfullness effects of dementia set in...and after reading the note, she is calm once again. This could happen every 2 minutes...and i am happy to give her the tools to provide comfort to her.
It's put a strain on our relationship and I avoid him most of the time. We r only in our early sixties so not too old and we are retired so we are together 24/7. i feel we are not that old and have much more life within us, I'm so damn tired of yelling so now don't anymore hoping he will get it and wear the d*mn things!