My Mom is always watching the news and it adds to her depression and bad attitude. Does anyone else have this issue?

Just a comment about Houseplant's observation that elections used to be serious - now some aspects of elections trend toward being a fiasco, or even comical. Others are just plain disgusting with name calling, racial slurs, and offensive comments. Yet older people may still believe they're serious.

If I thought the worlds of Palin and Trump prevailed, I'd be depressed too.

Jeaniepo, I see your viewpoint, but I also think that the issue of negative news is at the heart of the OP's query, and that the political comments may become a bit frivolous, but perhaps that's our own way of putting distance between real news and them, and of confirming to ourselves that most of the political tv isn't worth watching. We're just having a few "pokes" at people who VOLUNTARILY put themselves in channels of mass communication.

We too need to justify to ourselves what we're watching, even though we may not realize it, such as that the negative activities, especially that now of the massive devastation and suffering caused by Winter Storm Jonas, is somehow not going to happen to us.

Occasionally I've asked people about their free use of social media which commoditizes and sells personal information, about the liberal posting and sharing of personal information, of lack of concerns for their own privacy. I get different responses from whose who grew up with these activities vs. those my age, and for me who's worked in law and been concerned about massive violations of individual rights. The younger people are acclimated to privacy invasion - they grew up with it. People my age didn't, and some of us find it egregiously offensive.

I think it's also important to remember that so many of the people who are older and are watching tv as a pastime are also limited in mobility and are more concerned about that than people of a younger age. If I was 80 or 90+ and living in NJ, I'd be terrified of being without power in a flooded area in frigid weather. At least we who can move around. can get in a boat or perhaps be rescued, but if your mobility is limited, what are your options?

I don't claim to have professional psychological insight, but there have been times when I've been less mobile because of various injuries, and I find myself trending toward preoccupation with negative events so that I can plan alternatives in the event they happen to me.

Since my father's on oxygen which goes with us everywhere, I spend more time thinking about how to keep backup batteries warm in the car while we're at a medical appointment, how to haul the oxygen concentrator to the buildings when no one has snowed off walks and how to keep from falling myself....these seem like little things but could become major issues.

So I see how someone can fall into an obsession with negativity - what we don't know is whether or not these elder folks are trying to find ways to cope with it and think how they would handle the situation if it occurred, or even if the events are so terrifying that elders are so frightened they can't turn off the tv because they're hoping that some resolution will arise which would reverse the fear and anxiety they experience.


SingingWay makes a good point about the proliferation of garbage programs on tv. They're on everywhere - even in medical offices, and worse yet, in the radiological waiting room at our hospital! This aggravates me to no end. I've put in ear plugs to block out all those inane talk shows and soap operas.

But the assumption is made by someone - office staff? - that patients apparently are interested in this garbage. I've been tempted to bring a portable CD and play classical music in the waiting rooms.

Houseplant, your observations are insightful, highly relevant, and very important to this discussion, especially the societal changes that wrought the issues about which we're writing, and the insight into elders who can no longer process issues.

The fact that we even have the freedom to comment, suggest, poke fun at, agree, disagree, or seriously critique our politicians is wonderful. At least one Canadian, the British, and I'm sure others who haven't mentioned where they are from are interested in today's politicians.
Trump has made his place in American political history. He grabbed the attention of people across very diverse backgrounds. Rather than bringing the groups together, he is pitting one against the other. Our elderly can't begin to think or process anything positive. It offers no hope, no solutions, no freedoms. This negativity really conflicts with their values so must be quite distressing.
I think deleteaccount's question is really not just about the elderly. Baby Boomers are marching down this treacherous path. Their kids and grandkids must deal with the social and economic implications of dementia among other ailments.
I think the saving grace (not Nancy Grace) in earlier years was having only 3 channels to choose from. Topics were timely and relevant. Today's connected world makes it desirable to have many more choices for TV today. We have to learn when enough is enough and remove the remote.

In thinking about Jeaniego's idea of deleting the input from others it reminded me of the following:
It's the online users who forced the mainstream establishment to take seriously people's comments. Those were originally people who mostly had no access to the mainstream. Now the major media, manufacturers, businesses, law enforcement and national security rely on social websites to achieve their missions. So we should never delete any sites and conversations such as this. Maybe someday it will sink in - among politicians who have not yet been diagnosed with dementia.
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When bad news prevailed in earlier years, anyone interested in more knowledge out came the newspaper and magazines. It was an alternative way to inform, educate, and then take a break from the horrible realities. Not so today - just all the horrible stuff flows into the living room like a backed up sewer main.
Mom liked to watch the old movie channels. Dad would sometimes flip it back to the all sports channels which bored my mom. That forced her to get up and take a break from the TV. Later they both became entranced with FOX news. After Dad died she became more attached to the remote and FOX. I cringed at some of the stuff she was talking about as it was negative.
But she got to see a little of Trump and Palin. She would get worked up about various characters - Trump, Palin, Pelosi, and others. When our elders can no longer process the world or work to improve life, it can become cruel in my opinion.
Mom talked about politicians every election cycle. Elections were serious business for her generation. I am glad she died before the media really got any more immersed in every tidbit of bad news it could muster up.
I think it's good deleteaccount asked the question!

My best advice is to get a multi-disk DVD changer. Five disk changers are about $50. (then from there, they go up to very pricey.) and a multi-disk audio CD changer. Storyteller tapes are wonderful. You can also make playlists on YouTube. that will run several hours. How about Netflix -- an old TV series on Netflix will just scroll through to the next one.

During my mother's stays in 2 nursing rehab facilities, I tried every way to get them to keep the TV on reasonable channels. But I would walk in and my mother would be terrified that the apocalypse had come and that the world was burning outside her window because of what was playing on the TV. Or she'd be sobbing over a lost child on Nancy Grace. I put up LARGE SIGNS, I posted the times and channels of her favorite safe programs. But even if I could get ONE staff member to put the TV on PBS for "nature" or Keeping Up Appearances, then after that could be a documentary on war, or a murder mystery, which she would think was real and happening right now. The same for the Turner Classic Movies. A tap-dance film, then a war movie. She couldn't make sense of the movie, she'd just enjoy the musical, then be full of anxiety over the war movie. I tried programming a CD player for music to play for her. I don't know why nursing facilities aren't more cognizant of that. There was no way to block channels. There was no way she could be happy with that barrage of violent images coming at her, many times a day, whenever it was on. Even a sitcom, has quick-flashed previews for the murder show to follow, usually a body lying in a pool of blood -- distasteful to me knowing it's fake, but horrific to her thinking it's real. I was so glad to get her home.
Storyteller tapes -- she could listen and enjoy and process those, really understand them and laugh in the right places -- when she couldn't process books on tape. Donald Davis, Jim Weiss. Jonatha and Harold Wright. I would leave a CD playing on continuous play with headphones plugged in. All she had to do was put the headphones on to hear it. (She couldn't press the play button).

Jeaniepo and careinhome, I'm with you both. I had to wade through so much political blather that I'm sure I missed some relevant comments. (I'll keep my mouth shut about what I think of both sides in the Presidential Reality Show....)

Are you still with us, deleteaccount? One thing that would be helpful to know is just how mentally impaired your mother is. How tuned in is she to the reality she is watching? (Yes, I know that the mainstream media is pathetically out of touch with actual reality.) If you disabled the television and substituted old movies and comedy, would she catch on? (Fred Astaire! Bob Hope & Bing Crosby! Charlie Chan mysteries! Gilligan's Island reruns! etc.)

Others have mentioned tuning in to cooking shows, game shows, nature shows and situation comedies. All these are great ideas if she is not fixated on watching the news and constantly channel surfing as soon as your back is turned.

My mother watched primarily game shows, sitcoms and the news---but her hearing was so bad she couldn't really hear what they were saying! It was all just visuals and the more action the better. Eventually her dementia progressed to the point where she now has no more interest in TV, newspapers or magazines and just wants to be in the same room other people are in.

When I am the only one around, it's useless to try and get anything done on my computer (still designing posters and stuff, although retired), so I just bring my laptop to her and show her family videos or fun video shorts I find online, or I go through family albums with her and pick her brain for stories of her girlhood.

You don't say if sje has Dementia. My Mom no longer knows how to use the remote. I don't allow news or shows like Emergency. She believes what is on the TV is happening in the house and gets upset.

My first thought is if she is on depression meds?

I really feel bad for my mother because she is so scared.I would hate to live like that feeling that the end of the USA is near

My mother not only thought some fictional shows fiction were real, but that she knew the victims! (Both in fiction and on the news.) I just distracted her with puzzles and PBS. Her Alzheimers has sufficiently advanced that now I have her watch PBSkids and the Saturday morning nature shows on one of the regular broadcast stations. Her favorites are Wild Kratts and Curious George.

She also enjoys her exercises - which, given that she is wheelchair bound and very stiff are very simple. But perhaps it is the interaction she relishes.

As for voting: vote for Bernie! Or Jill Stein, ;)

p.p.p.s. hey, ya'll… on both sides. this isn't about political views here, it is about gratuitous, unrelenting, churning of bad news & negativity that is just TOO MUCH on all media outlets on both sides these days.

if we keep our focus on THAT, there is room for all of us to weigh in on this. i didn't mean to single FOX out for any reason other than my folks consumed nothing but FOX and cop shows. whether i like something or not, i fully support everyone watching what they want. it the Right of us all, and that is the other important thing.

hugs all around!

p.p.s. by the way, we call the above strategy "OPERATION: KILL THE FOX". take that fox network… :)

habits are best changed when replaced with something desirable. every saturday at breakfast… and i mean EVERY saturday, we watched a hilarious movie with my mom. we all knew every line and scene by heart and that's what made it all the funnier.

'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' (1963) With Spencer Tracy, Milton Berle, Ethel Merman, Mickey Rooney, to only name a few. The dying words of a thief spark a madcap cross-country rush to find some treasure. makes you cry funny. and of mom's generation.

also, dvd boxed sets of I Love Lucy, The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Carol Burnett Show, The Bennie Hill Show (racey british… but we love it) etc. we have a regular schedule for each show everyday.

as folks are going to digital media, i find them from friends, craiglist, amazon & ebay for pretty cheap. somehow whipping out a DVD makes it more of an occasion for my mom then just downloading it. also, it's something tangible she can touch so it cues her better and seeing the DVDs on the shelf gives her something to look forward to.

you may not be able to make the news go away completely, but i believe balancing it out with something funny is a great place to start and a win-win… if only for an hour. even one belly laugh a day is good medicine, yes?

also, beautiful ester williams movies and musicals of her era are always uplifting.

you are an awesome daughter/son!!! hugs to you :)

p.s. america's funniest home videos NEVER misses the mark with mom… though it disgusted my aunt, so we had to sneak it in around her… lol.

Delete apart from my snide comments earlier I need you to know this. I have had to stop Mum watching any programmes that relate to violence of any sort. By violence I refer to anything that is gratuitously violent. I also don't let her watch the main news because that too can be a little graphic. However she does watch local news because that 'tends' to be more forthcoming with better news....the softer touch you might say.

I think once dementia sets in there is a huge difficulty for some people in differentiating between fact and fiction and also between news in general and reality to them.

Hence my mother thinking Donald Trump was George Patten (because they do look similar) and because she misheard Trump (which is not a word over here except to be a child's word for breaking wind) and because she saw Sarah Palin she heard strumpet which is something she recognises. Now she has a set of pseudo facts and has merged them with the George Patten she does remember and of course George Patten wouldn't have married a strumpet.

Hence my mother believing that NCIS is real and although she wanted to watch it I refused to let her watch band of brothers which is a war based series but some of the shots are sometimes so horrific and graphic she would have believed that was happening today in this city and not only been depressed but frightened too.

Mum would not be able to differentiate for example between the reality of 911 and the fictional towering inferno. Her reference points for reality were shaped long before special effects which just adds to the complexity of the problem

The sad thing is we can only guess what is going on in their minds and that is so frustrating.

Good for her, Jeanie. And she's not wrong, is she? Long may her watchdog's teeth stay sharp.

I think the serious point about the original thread, though, is that as perception changes then older people with dementia can become very distressed by what they see, out of normal proportion for them. Then you're left with the choice of either censoring their viewing, or allowing them to be exposed to often lurid reporting - think of some of the shockers around over the last few months, which certainly freak me out and I like to think of myself as reasonably philosophical. I don't think there is an ideal answer, sadly.

I think ALL the political ridiculous comments on here SHOULD BE DELETED by whomever runs this site. Talk about biased and mean! We don't all share your political views and I didn't think this was a political forum, so please rant elsewhere ! And to answer the question, yes, my mom constantly watches the news because she thinks this younger generation is spoiled, takes our freedoms for granted and so hers must remain vigilant!

Thanks for opening up this discussion, "deleteaccount" - I'm sure this affects the majority of our seniors, who grew up with mainstream media, most of which are motivated by high ratings and profitability. Rape, violence, murder, slander, gossip, family feuds, legal wranglings, injustice, war, animal cruelty, parental neglect, environmental disasters... it's a steady diet of the worst possible news from around the globe.

My parents read a daily newspaper that spews bad news, and they keep the television on to watch an all-news/all-day station that just reiterates and vomits the worst stories of the day ad nauseum. My father rants about the state of the world and my mother frets endlessly about all the things that might befall her grandchildren. Both have dementia - they might forget the stories, but they certainly remember the feelings the stories stir up inside them.

I have been trying to wean them off their "bad news" addiction by bringing in positive stories about heroes and compassion, by putting some of the stories in perspective (they live in a quiet neighbourhood where even the cats and dogs are bored), and by reminding them that, at any given moment, we have SO MUCH to be grateful for.

It's a cultural sickness, our addiction to other people's dramas, and the media has accelerated its stronghold on audiences. It's impossible for most of us to NOT watch a train wreck, but watching it all day and every day creates links in our brains and fears and feelings that aren't even real. As Roosevelt noted, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

I have studied Buddhist philosophy extensively, and went for a few months without any input from any news sources. It was blissful, and my life didn't change a whit. As I understand it, life is all about balance. Achieving that right balance of negative and positive dramas is the solution. How to do that in a capitalistic degenerative news environment is the real question!

Didn't know this was turning into the Huffington Post

Block the channel, you can delete/add by going to menu on your remote.

Veronica, that's just too funny! Anyone remember Carmen Miranda with her massive hair pieces piled with fruit? She was amusing, and entertaining. Donald with birds in his hair....well, that's appropriate for a good chuckle.

As to bird feeders though, make absolutely sure that there's a squirrel proof saucer to keep the squirrels from raiding the bird seed. And make sure the feeder is far enough from the house that they can't leap onto it.

Bird feeders is a fine idea for anyone not just the elderly and sick.
maybe if the Donald comes to visit they will find somewhere to nest.

I agree Spanish speaking TV sports announcers give the game an extra zing! If Mom won't view the Spanish presentations, she needs a break from the Palin-Trump/political/negative advertising regimen. Trump's also needs to at least get his Corinthians reference straight if he's going to blabber on the world stage about faith and liberty. I hope my mom is now laughing at him from above.

My mom was talking before she died and said Trump is always in the news because he "vents for America". (So politically incorrect it gets peoples attention). I told her if Trump wants to vent for America, then vent about the Social Security and aging of America. He has been silent on these timely issues. So Trump only deserves a limited amount of the public's attention. Your mom deserves something less stressful in her later years.

If your mom has large windows in her living or family rooms, consider a bird feeder. A few blue jays and squirrels competing for the seed is so fun to observe. Birds align themselves to your routine to a great extent. If they learn there will be seeds and peanuts window-side or in a specific yard space, they will visit. Some birds, such as disappointed blue jays, will actually let you know if they arrive and no peanuts are at the feeding station. Buying unsalted, in-the-shell peanuts is easiest and the least messy. (Sore peanuts in a closed plastic container). Birds usually take the peanuts in their beaks and fly away to eat or store for later. If younger family is around, birds appeal to all age groups and can even be a group project.
If it's set up properly, the feeding area will not require a lot of upkeep. Some cleanup is needed, but not a whole lot. If doves are in the area, set up a hanger-type feeder that accommodates the smaller and more agile birds. This serves to exclude large, messy doves or raven or crows. Hummingbird feeders outside a window is another fun idea.
There are many books as well as free information online about how to make the birds a part of your household. Since it requires a little planning, it's a way to engage her mind in something besides the TV.
Hummingbirds can be a good project for kids as well. There are citizen observation programs online for tracking the hummingbird migration. Scientists actually use the citizen observations to augment their studies. So, the citizen program can divert kids away from the TV as well. (A good child-grandma project for the more computer literate youngsters to engage grandparents).

I think all age groups have been flooded with bad politics/violence/ads on TV and can benefit from alternate activities. Especially activities that, if more than one generation is together, everyone can join in the activity if desired.

momscaregiver1 really deserves a prize for starting this discussion!

I have the same problem and just wanted to say I understand the frustration you are dealing with. I truly feel your pain. I try to change the subject and distract her with something, but she always comes back to news issues and especially the up coming election. I have also just posted for help on this issue.

Panny, thanks for the response. I did read this morning that one of the Veterans' organization is disturbed because Palin blamed Obama for a "lack of respect for veterans", despite the fact that her son served when one of the Bushes was in power. The lack of respect for Veterans goes way back to the Vietnam Era, if not further.

I think your observation that she and Trump are reality show personalities is very insightful. Neither were or are serious candidates - they just don't have the background, any more than someone like Martha Stewart would.

I think they're also way out of their league. Can you imagine if more reality show personalities decided to run for office? Can you imagine one of the Duck Dynasty or Duggars or that Honey Boo-boo running for office?

I admire your perseverance and adaptability, switching from crocheting to weaving to continue your charitable works. You're an inspiration!

Just a thought....do you have a serger? Charities have been sending these thin fleece blankets out with their solicitations. Although they don't provide much warmth individually, I've found that underneath a quilt they really increase the warmth level.

All that's needed for the fleece is to be serged around the edges. But it would involve tying off the threads.

Still, I think it's laudable that you've moved from one craft to another to continue your charitable efforts.

Hi GardenArtist,

I believe she spoke about the domestic violence in yesterday's speech. I heard a sound bite on my local news where she said her son has PTSD and has come home a more hardened person. I don't know if she said more about it but I doubt it.
I'm not sure how much it will bother Trump to be honest. Her evangelical following will probably have sympathy for her as they did when her daughter gave birth out of wedlock. I think they are just two reality show personalities and the thought of either of them running this country is frightening....but funny to watch. Saturday Night Live should be a hoot from now on.

I'm sorry to take the thread off course everyone.

I love your idea of good works. I used to crochet blankets for shelter animals and make dog collars for rescues. I have neuropathy and arthritis now & I can't do that kind of work very often so I bought a loom to try to make rugs for the dogs to sleep on. Doing things for others is such a gift to oneself. I think sometimes it's the best medicine.

momscaregiver1, if your Mom speaks only English, try changing the language over to Spanish when she's not looking.

The other day my Dad was watching football, some how Dad hit the Spanish language and I actually found the football announcers much more passionate about the game then that of the English speaking announcers :)

Get rid of your TV. Cable is expensive so you'll save a lot of money. Listen to radio, which is much, much less depressing. You can live without television. I agree with whoever suggested Netflix. You can control movies. You can choose uplifting movies or classics or whatever. Your mother is turning into a zombie watching TV. That's why pediatricians don't want young children to watch it. We don't have cable and we get our news from the newspaper and radio. It takes some getting used to but when you think about how many commercials you're watching, you're paying to be advertised to to death. Plus, if you get rid of cable then you control what you watch and when you watch it. My FIL is addicted to FOX News also but because my inlaws live in independent living there's nothing I can do about it but I do ask him to turn that crap off when I'm there. My FIL is addicted to bad news and it sounds like your mother may be as well.

If ever there was a faked smile, it was at that moment, standing next to palin.
Or, was it her double? Tina Faye?

Poor Charlie-girl! That is why no recent photos, Stacey is selling her hair to donald?

Ah but was it really her or her promo double Veronica!? and why does he have Staceys Chihuahua on his head? Cant he afford a hat?