My mother, 88, is in nursing home - parkinsons for 15 years, dementia for maybe 7 or 8 years and numerous strokes., . Whenever I visit she's asleep in her bed. She says she's so tired because she's awake all night. She's deteriorated terribly the last few weeks, mostly in bed, sometimes her wheelchair, barely able to speak, fantasizing and nastier than ever. Is this just normal as she deteriorates?
Next week I'll be taking her to the dentist to get her dentures relined. It's only 4km away, she'll go by para transit bus and I'll follow along in the truck. To lay the ground work I mentioned that the dentists are of middle eastern descent, i.e. they wear long clothing and head scarves. Her reaction was, in horror, "You mean they're pakis???!! I'm dreading it. In fact I'm dreading going near her at all these days.
In response to your question ashlynne,, my mother did exactly what your mother is doing. She was cognizant of our conversations and of who I was though. I thank God for that. She watched TV, read, and did word search puzzles all night. I noticed eventually that she slept a lot at night, but was still sleepy during the day. When I asked her doctor about it, he said most elderly people develop similar habits. He attributed it to medication, depression (more medication), and boredom. In your case, you know your mother's diagnosis and medications. She is not aware of what she is doing. I visited my mom anyway, but always took a book in case she was asleep. When she was awake, I gradually saw my sweet, adorable mother develop a nasty side, too, and heard words come from her mouth that shocked me! I reminded myself that this was the illness affecting her mind and she was no longer the mom I remembered. I read and watched her sleep when she was asleep.During some of those times, I reminisced about how things were when my father was living and what good times mom and I had before she broke her hip and eventually developed lymphoma. I think, for your own sake, that you should visit your mother even when she is asleep. You will look back some day and cherish the times you spent with her and enjoyed being in her presence. I think it is especially difficult for daughters and mothers, if they were close before whatever illness changed your lives forever. My heart goes out to you. You sound like a caring and loving daughter who is trying to enjoy your mom in spite of her nastiness. Your mom is receiving care where she is. Now it is time for you to take care of yourself and enjoy your mom while you can.