Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3
I ended up in assisted living because I could not walk. However, I am in my 80's and still hold two jobs and take college courses as not to be bored. So I am completely with it. In the first facility, a diamond ring I had was stolen right out of the box which was hidden. I always had a feeling who took it but could not prove it. Later when I transferred to my current place, on three separate occasions money was stolen out of my room - it is sick and heartbreaking but it happens. Now I keep $5.00 in my purse and have hidden some other funds in a place that I can assure you no one would know to look. People do steal and there is not much you can do about it unfortunately.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My father is in AL, does not have dementia but gets confused often. Last month he told me about two incidents at the AL facility that caused me to want to question management but he insisted I didn't. I decided to wait and see if it happened again. Last week I asked him about both incidents again and his story on one of them was COMPLETELY different than what he told me the prior month and now made more sense. I am so glad I did not go off and accuse the facility of something my father made up and embarrass myself.

In your OP you said you called her and she said she had only $4. So you didn't actually SEE that the money was missing. I would rethink leaving her with anything more than $20.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mom used to accuse people in IL of stealing her clothes and jewelry. We never found anything missing. It was her paranoia talking. She didn't need money in her AL. There was no store, and money was put in an account so if they needed to get their hair done, etc, it came out of that. She had some jewelry but it was never touched. I guess we were lucky. When she went to the NH, everything was supplied and they told us to take anything of value home with us because they could not police every visitor and person going in an out of all the rooms.  All her clothing had labels, but even so, a couple pairs of pj's disappeared.  We never knew if they were stolen or if the laundry just lost them or mixed them up.  It wasn't a big deal.  By then Mom wasn't aware of what was or was not hers and didn't care.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It's a fact of life, the stealing, and it's hard to know the true story. In my mother's nursing home, her shoes of all things kept disappearing! Brand new shoes, 2 pairs. I wrote her name in magic marker on the outside of her remaining pair and they weren't taken. New clothes, nightgowns, scarves disappeared, even labelled with her name. (oh, and My grandmother's ring was stolen off her finger years ago.) Stuffed animals disappeared, expensive ones. Mom loved those stuffed animals, thought they were 'real', her 'pets'. It could be the staff, but it could be other visitors ducking into empty rooms unnoticed. It could be other residents, some of whom were mobile and walking around. One of them picked up my mother's stuffed animal and walked away for it, I had to run after her and 'trade' her a cheap beanie baby in exchange. The rooms were shared and the doors usually open all day . The moral of the story is, don't let your loved ones keep money, jewelry, or valuables in their rooms, anything that can't be replaced. They don't need a lot of money or jewelry. My mother's laundry kept disappearing, it was the fault of the laundry company. I made a BFD about it, but they shrugged and said they would look into it. So I kept replenishing her clothes with thrift store pants and tops.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When I read about this stuf....I can only think "yeah, tell me again how/why nursing homes are soooo much better than they used to be?" This is better? Than what?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hear you Katiekate. I'm sure there are some good ones, but some times there are horrifying stories of elder abuse. In my grandmother's nursing home they don't allow the residents to keep money in their rooms. Its these stories that made me want to keep my dad at home even after his stroke.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Theft is wrong. Theft from vulnerable people is even wronger, because it's abuse of the person you're supposed to be protecting.

You're working a ten hour shift, and other people haven't turned up so you don't get a break. You're physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Some residents and some families speak to you as though you were a retarded robot. Your client has all her needs catered for, and you can't pay for your electricity, and she has a purse littered with change and bills. Then you get your pay packet for the week, and you find that, great, you can either pay for the utilities or eat.

Theft is still wrong. But for lots of hired caregivers staying honest isn't so easy in practice. We treat these people abysmally and then expect an awful lot of moral value from them.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

On the other hand - my MIL was in rehab and insisted on taking her Ipad and kept her parkinsons meds in her room in a locked drawer instead of nurses station. When MIL returned from lunch on the unit with my husband, the drawer was open and the items were missing. She completely freaked out! My husband told her that he would find nurse and get them looking, but she demanded he call FIL and police for theft. 15 minutes later and a nurse conversation - Turns out that MIL's roommate on Medicaid had been discharged and the cleaning person for the unit had been told to gather up all items before leaving. While a nice person, the cleaning person had "some cognitive issues" and forced the locked drawer open looking for a missing item. My husband found the Ipad and the meds by the sink, where cleaner had put them after figuring out they were not missing roommate's item. All intact, nothing messed with or stolen. Two weeks later, MIL is still talking about the "theft from her room" and how you can't trust facility personnel....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Anyone thought of Nanny Cam? All kind of things that I would buy for my mother, disappeared very soon afterwards! They would not check on Mom during the night but slipped in, but not to check on her! I hid things that only I knew where things were, gone! I'd ask about it, only got shrugs!! I wish I had had a nanny cam, but I had several people that no one knew that would watch her room! I finally got a confession and she can no longer be employed in this type of work again!! One less thing to worry over!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is an older post but in case anyone might still look at it, I have a different viewpoint that can be useful. First, let me assure that my mother's AL is very trustworthy & things are closely monitored. In a full year we have not had any problems whatsoever, at any level. That being said, even a top-notch place could end up hiring a new worker who feels "desperate". Mom's AL offers a safe in the administrators office where they handle the residents' cash like a bank. Mom keeps $5 in her room & the rest in the safe.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Once again, it could be anyone taking things. People can walk in off the street, go up on the elevator to 'visit' (there is a sign-in at the front desk; anyone can scribble a name illegibly under 'visitor') and cruise the rooms. Usually the rooms are empty during the day, but anyone can go in and look around for valuables, if they are quick, and if questioned, say they came to leave some gift for '_____'. Other residents can go in and out of rooms, wandering, taking things that strike their fancy. Won't even get into theft by the employees. Again, the moral of the story is label everything you can, don't let your loved one keep obviously expensive items in the room, or a wad of money. what are they going to buy, anyway? the money is in an account, easily enough accessed for hair appointments, to give to relatives to buy birthday presents for grandchildren, to take out to pay for an outing somewhere. A nursing home is often pretty much a public place, and the people you would never suspect can be light-fingered.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My husband is a retired cop,he had to respond to nannie call Flip This nature in elderly care facilities if they're stealing money they're doing other things Our advice is find a new facility, or get a monitoring system you don't have to tell anybody it's there just do it
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

With dementia does someone has a POA? If so, you can require that you are to be contacted when she wants to take money out. I'm sure they have to sign something to withdraw.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I believe you!! Install a nanny cam in her room...
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Did you report this to the DNA there? You can also out a cap on how much she can take out. I have worked in Nursing facilities for 20 years We always had a saying.Never bring anything if value in (mainly jewelry.) Have her put her purse or money in another location.But definantly report it.If reporting it to the Charge Nurse,go to the next person,May be Social Services.I have seen things stolen,and yes it does happen.Which is sad.I hope they catch this person.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter