Has anyone on board had to make the decision to stay in your existing home or move to another home? My husband has Parkinson disease and dementia and other health issues. We both are 65 years old. We live in a 2 story home where all of the bedrooms are on the second floor. With his health, I feel eventually we both need to have our bedrooms on the 1st floor. He wanders at night getting up several times at night going to the bathroom. We have been comparing the cost of adding a bedroom on the 1st floor, but, it is costly. The value of the homes in my neighborhood is down due to the original owners moving out and renting out their homes, short sales of homes, foreclosure, therefore, they are not up keeping their homes. When I look at the cost of the addition, which will make the value of my home more than what the houses are selling for in my subdivision. I looking around at different houses and the thought of moving makes me uncomfortable too, to start all over again. We have been in our home for 20 years. I just wanted to see if anyone out there had to make the decision to stay in their home or move. If so, how did they decide what to do?
My background is real estate, and when you mentioned that your neighborhood isn't being kept up as nicely as it use to be, time to put that For Sale sign in your yard. You are correct your house would be one of the most expensive if you add an addition. And the issues with trying to add an addition, first having to deal with zoning, and once you get approval, finding a contractor who will finish the job within 6 months.
Start downsizing right now in your home, get rid of paperwork you no longer need. It amazing how much paper we keep. I tell you, it feels so good to tear up or shred documents :) Find things to donate, or to give to family. That will make packing to a new home much easier.
Look for 55+ community that also offers Assisted Living or continuing care [there are about 15 such places in and around Richmond]. That way you can actually age in place, make new friends who are from your own generation... and when the time comes for hubby to move to continuing care, you can be in the same community which makes visiting him easier, and you'll have friends to rally around you :)
In your situation, I would also be concerned about starting over, but rather in a positive way - no more stairs to climb, less area to clean, beginning with a clean slate and hopefully no older house issues to address.
Two things I absolutely will have in my next house are an attached garage and laundry facilities on the first floor. I'm tired of lugging wet laundry upstairs to air dry (reduces my energy footprint).
And it wasn't until this last winter that loading and unloading the car became uncomfortable during winter weather. Plus it's a lot safer to get out of the car in a garage and enter the house when I come home late at night from a hospital trip.
Given the situation you describe in your neighborhood, the value of homes might also be an encouragement to start planning to leave now, rather than later. The city in which I live faces some similar problems, especially a few hundred (last I heard) vacant houses from foreclosures.
Housing values have dropped and even though they've recovered somewhat from the recession, I doubt they'll ever hit a pre-recession high again. Given the lower prices, a different class of people is moving in, changing the dynamics of the neighborhood, something that could happen in your area as well.
The only parts I dread are the actual house hunting and the packing...all the packing! I see it as a good time to downsize.
Given your house (2 stories), aging, and the neighborhood issues, I think those are sufficient justification to consider moving, especially if the neighborhood doesn't stabilize or improve.
Ideally, planning a move while one is able would be good, but staying put has it's benefits.
Even though I am for moving to accommodate any decline in abilities to keep your home up, this staying where you are is doable if one can afford help.
I have also seen and read where one spouse refuses to have help come into the home, (often a cognitive decline), putting the other spouse at risk, ending with their children intervening and the spouses separating. Things can go south abruptly, and while we should not live in fear and negativity, planning ahead can be a good thing!
Makes me think, really hard.
I dont regret the move one iota - it has made my life a lot simpler. The apartment is warm cosy and large enough. I don't have a garden to do.... that is done for us. I have a simple clean easy to manage space...AND MUM of course!
See All Answers