She has vision problems, edema, brain shrinkage, dementia and speech pauses. She has fallen twice. I have alerted her children but they aren’t doing anything, enabling her to stay there. Dad can’t hear well and has light dementia. She left the gas on once, and can longer do chores as she says she forgets what day it is. She isn’t showering and stays in her clothes with food on it for days. I’m taking care of bills, taxes, home aides, and food. If they don’t have prepared food, they eat cookies and chips, she cannot drive, and dad does but doesn’t like to. I’m concerned she could fall and dad won’t hear or gas left on but her children are not addressing this nor do they respond very much to me. I don’t know what to do anymore, dad is not a reliable caretaker as he needs care himself and she has dug in her heels.
And I think that's an awful thing to do to YOU. I guess you could just stop going over there and doing anything for either of them. Then report them to APS as vulnerable seniors living alone and unable to take care of themselves. That might be hard to do but what are the other options? You can't throw her out if it's her house and your dad doesn't agree to it, right? Your dad doesn't seem to be able to make good decisions.