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I’m burnt out and need to seek a nursing home for her. She is a germaphob and not sure she would like it. Should I feel guilty about this?

DaphneM,

Take a deep breath and think about why you feel guilty. You aren't able to manage taking care of your mother on your own anymore. Needing help is nothing to feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about.

If you think placing her in a nursing home is the best decision for both of you, then that's what you do. It's not wrong. It doesn't mean you don't love your mother. It means that she needs care that you aren't able to provide.

Verbal abuse and lashing out are forms of abuse and no one has to live with abuse. It's time to give yourself some kindness and care. You did your best to be your mother's caregiver for as long as you could. You should be commended for that. Your time as her sole caregiver has to be at an end now and that's perfectly fine.

Will she like a nursing home? No, she will not. If she lashes out and gets verbally abusive with staff they will ignore or medicate her. It will be adjustment for her and there is a strong possibility that she will not adjust to facility life. You have to put your own mental and physical health first now.

I was a homecare worker for 25 years and was good at it. I had many elderly clients with dementia (and without) who were verbally abusive, liked to pick fights, enjoyed trying to cause trouble for the sake of causing trouble, and lashed out (sometimes they physically tried to get violent). I knew the day I had to walk away from hands-on caregiving. I could not take one more moment with an ornery elder, or one repeating in a dementia loop, change one more diaper, clean up one more 'accident', or wear down one more person to get them to shower or wash up. Yet, I still had 25 years of knowing how to cope with being a caregiver. So I went into the business of it.

You have learned from being a caregiver to your mother and that has value in of itself. It's time for you to stop. Trust yourself, You'll do what's best for both of you and if it's placing your mother in LTC that is fine. No guilt. No regrets.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
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If you are getting paid by Medicaid the Community Based Program she should have so many respite hours for you to take a break. So if she has Medicaid and have Respite hours call the insurance and contact her case manager letting her/him know you want a break. To set up the respite hours of the nursing facility of your choice. Each nursing home will have a certain amount of days they do respite care. Make sure you call them first.
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Reply to Cleo2026
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A burned out caregiver is no good to anyone. Not your fault, it happens to the best of us. It’s your mind and body signaling it’s time for change for you both. Of course almost no one wants to go to nursing home care, but sometimes it’s the best option among all the bad options when there are multiple issues and few choices left. Make no apologies and feel no guilt, you’ve done your best. Do get her on calming medication prior to a move. Sometimes it takes a bit to find the right balance but she deserves to feel calm instead of angry and anxious. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If you are burned out there are options.
And keep in mind YOU are the one making the decisions NOT your mother.
1. You find an Adult Day Program mom can go to 2. 3 4, 5 days a week. That gives you a break.
2. You hire caregivers to help you. And you let them. When they show up you leave the house.
3. You place mom in Respite for a week, maybe 2 and you take a vacation. You can go away or stay home and do what you want. (sit and watch TV and eat a pint of ice cream is you want)
4. Place mom in a facility that can manage her care.

Now if m om is cognizant has she talked with a therapist to help her with her anger and to help deal with the trauma of the abuse? She may need medication to help her.

If your goal is to "take care" of her then you should have no guilt in finding a solution that will get her the care she needs and the help that you need.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Nope. No guilt.
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Reply to MG8522
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So is she verbally abusing you and this is supposedly excusable or understandable in some way because she was abused by your father? How does this make sense? Did you cause your father to abuse her? Did you make her stay with him?

It’s not OK to abuse other people, “anger issues” or no. And caregiving needs to work for both parties and it sounds like it isn’t working out since she is angry and abusive. Time to find another situation for her.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Is she on any meds for her depression/agitation? If not, now's the time (before transitioning her) to talk to her doctor. It might also address the OCD/germ thing and even if it doesn't, it's not an excuse. Few elders ever look forward to going into a facility but often it is a viable and appropriate (and only) solution. Do not feel guilty -- you aren't doing anything "wrong". You are doing what's exactly right for the both of you. Win-win. May you receive peace in your heart.
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Reply to Geaton777
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No, you should not feel guilty. My mom was super sensitive to handwashing and now she never washes her hands. As dementia takes over their usual obsessions can change.

Also, you need to stop making excuses for your mom. She should have dealt with her anger issues not made you a victim. Get therapy and work through the abuse you have suffered. You deserve to be freed from her abuse. Also, do not visit her daily or let her call you. It's time to let the facility handle her. I visit my mom twice a week for one hour each. That's all I can do and still be healthy.
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Reply to JustAnon
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