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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Are you POA for either of them? If she refuses all help you are going to have to "Tough Love" this. Call Adult Protective Services or call your local Senior Service Center and describe the situation. They will follow up. If it is determined that it is unsafe or your dad is not being cared for you may have to place them in a facility that can manage their care for their safety. If you are not POA and if they are not competent (and it sounds like they are not) you may have to be appointed Guardian.
Call 911 and report a 95 year old man being starved and sitting in his own waste. Then show up at moms and let EMS inside to take dad to the hospital for treatment, mom too if necessary.
If this continues, he will concurrently starve to death and get skin sores that are fatal. Then - no more problem.
It looks to me like mom has a mental issue. Call APS as others suggest. If that doesn't produce immediate help, call the police for a welfare check. Explain that you believe two lives are in imminent danger and demand that the welfare visit happen right away, today. Police can call in social services for evaluation and assistance.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. Good luck!
Yes call APS, which stands for adult protective service, you can google search to find your local phone number. You can also call the local sheriff or police for a wellness check, if things are bad enough they may be able to get the ball rolling. Tell them your mom is abusing her husband, and may be having a crisis of some sort herself.
Do you, or does anyone, have powers of attorney for your mom? There's a point at which it doesn't matter what the person wants, they get what they need. If you've raised children it's the same thing, someone needs to be the adult and both young children and badly struggling elders don't always get to be in charge.
It sounds like mom's husband is not your dad? Do you have contact info for his kids, if any? They need to be contacted as well if possible.
That’s abusive. She may not mean for it to be, or she may have her own decline going on, but it’s still abusive and there’s no excuse for it. Call the elder abuse number, which may be the same as Adult Protective Services and report the situation. This man needs protection and to live out his days in comfort and peace
Report them to APS, unless they have assigned PoAs... Then I would contact the PoA and they will need to read their document to figure out how to activate their authority.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she refuses all help you are going to have to "Tough Love" this.
Call Adult Protective Services or call your local Senior Service Center and describe the situation. They will follow up. If it is determined that it is unsafe or your dad is not being cared for you may have to place them in a facility that can manage their care for their safety.
If you are not POA and if they are not competent (and it sounds like they are not) you may have to be appointed Guardian.
Call their doctor
I know you gotta be scared too..
call their doctor, so they can call the hospital so they are ready for the both of them..
your mom may say she doesn't need to go, but she needs her vitals and blood pressure checked etc.. to be on the safe side..
she needs help too
now is the time to get them in the hospital, both .
DO NOT WAIT CALL 911
if you call 911 they will be comfortable in the ambulance bed. They Eill Have Priority. They will attend to them as quickly as possible.
It is Okay...
YOUR MOM? YES SHE IS SCARED!
911
It looks to me like mom has a mental issue. Call APS as others suggest. If that doesn't produce immediate help, call the police for a welfare check. Explain that you believe two lives are in imminent danger and demand that the welfare visit happen right away, today. Police can call in social services for evaluation and assistance.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. Good luck!
Do you, or does anyone, have powers of attorney for your mom? There's a point at which it doesn't matter what the person wants, they get what they need. If you've raised children it's the same thing, someone needs to be the adult and both young children and badly struggling elders don't always get to be in charge.
It sounds like mom's husband is not your dad? Do you have contact info for his kids, if any? They need to be contacted as well if possible.