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Absolutely stick to your guns. This is a terrible idea--unless, of course, you and your husband are multi-millionaires who can buy and maintain an extra house and still have the money to finance your own retirement.

I am 71. My husband and I sold our home in the east and moved to the west coast about 7 years ago. We did this partly to assist my sisters care for my mother, partly to get out of the high cost of living area where we were located. We opted to put the cash from our previous home into an investment account and move into a rental property. The income from the investments more than pays for the rent. We have a beautiful place with a longish-term lease and we have no worries about the many costs of maintaining a house. We love it. I don't think that your husband's generous offer would turn out quite the way he expects. Compared to owning and caring for property, living in rentals is a simple and convenient lifestyle.

If your MIL has always rented she is not prepared to deal with the many costs of home ownership--even if she can afford them. Off-hand, I would say she probably could not. In our area a new roof starts at about $5K. If the house has not been re-roofed in the last 10 years, that will soon be due. Major appliances need replacing at regular intervals also. Then there is the painting of the exterior that needs to be done every 5 years. Yes, rent is higher than the PMI on a mortgage for the same property--but that is because the rent also takes care of all maintenance and property taxes on the property, including the headaches of getting all the bids.

Beyond all that, though, is the fact that it is your MIL's responsibility to take care of her living arrangements, not you. I would never allow my sons to make such a huge investment in my living expenses. They are 50 and need to be investing in their own futures. My husband and I feel that we have enough for a comfortable life for the 15 or 20 years that remain to us. If we do run short of money in our later years we have every intention of making do with lower cost options.

Also, bear in mind that you would probably be taking on a 30 year commitment for someone who is most likely not going to live that long. Probably before the mortgage would be half paid for your MIL will actually be better off looking at AL. Part of the reason we are renting is that we have much more flexibility in our housing that we would have if we had purchased a house. Waiting for the markets to go up or down on real estate is not a good thing to have to consider when a broken hip dictates a move to a steps-free environment! Your MIL sounds like she is really healthy now, but at our age things can change really rapidly.
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That is a bad idea. The best thing to do would be to find her a smaller home or Senior living apartment, allow the daughter to live with her if she needs assistance throughout the day while she is looking for a job. Keepyour finances separate.
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Why can’t your husband buy the house and have his sister who lives in the house pay rent to the tune of the additional $500 it will cost. That is cheap rent. I would charge her $700 or $800 a month to include the cost of maintenance
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Geaton777 Nov 2022
Because this may not be sustained... if the sister loses her job or something happens where she can't pay rent or make ends meet, it is a disaster for the OP. This sister is currrently unemployed. Not a good start.
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TXliving75: Absolutely do not do this as you need to build your own retirement. It's not advisable to foot the bill for parents' needs.
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Oh my gosh! Think of all the additional interest you will pay and you will probably NEVER pay off your loan. Yes, sometimes it's just time for people to downsize. Her desires shouldn't take such a huge toll on your family's finances. Even if mom were to leave him the house, he might never be able to (legally or emotionally) get his sister out of there.
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You are not wrong to feel as you do as this is a terrible plan. I'm not sure how your DH thinks this is a sound idea. Aside from adding to more of your own debt, does DH not remember that home ownership involves much more outlay of money than the monthly mortgage payment? And trust me stuff will happen. Who is going to cut the lawn? Who is going to pay $7K or more for a new roof when it starts leaking? What happens if something goes drastically wrong with the plumbing and you have to shell out thousands of dollars to fix it? Tell DH to get his head out of the clouds and come back to earth. And I mean that nicely :)
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Lantana Dec 2022
And have to pay property tax and insurance
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Buying the house might be a very good investment for your MIL and SIL, giving them some security. Your husband may want to do this. What if your husband loaned them the money? He can give them a good "family" rate of interest. Loans to family members should have a contract and re-payment schedule. They'd be paying back the mortgage they need to take out and the loan to your family.
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PeggySue2020 Nov 2022
I’m sorry but no
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I have been thinking about this for a day or so. (what a life!)
What would happen if you or your husband were to lose your jobs or were forced to cut back drastically on your hours?
What would happen if you or your husband were to have an accident and be unable to work for 6 months or so?
You say MIL has been renting this house for 20 years. How old is the house? 20 year old house is one thing a 50 or 100 year old house is another.
What renovations will have to be made to the house in order to allow MIL to remain? Will there need to be an accessible bathroom done? Is there a first floor bedroom that she can use if she can not do stairs? (unless this is a ranch house)
How much work can you and or your husband do when the house needs repairs?
If you are living in a cold area are you ready to shovel and plow that driveway and sidewalk and do yours as well? And the lawn in the summer.
And is $149k the market rate or is there a bit of a break since she has rented for so long?
Is this an "as is" sale and no inspection? Is there work that needs to be done?
Will all repairs be done before the sale closes?
And the biggie....
Will you get your money back?
When MIL dies will the house be sold and you recoup your investment or will SIL take up permanent residence and you will be landlords for 20. 30, 40 years?
If MIL and SIL will be paying you rent at either the same rental or a bit higher this might not be a bad deal. But I would not do it unless
1. I had enough that if I was unable to work for a while I would still be able to pay the mortgage.
2. MIL and SIL sign a rental contract and they pay rent at an amount that will either pay the mortgage each month or at a rate that would be customary in the area for a house.
3. It was safe for MIL to remain there.
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If you and husband want to buy the house as an investment, and it really is an appropriate investment property, then do it. Otherwise don't. And DON'T lend that money to MIL even with SIL, or co-sign with them!
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No one should cosign, or the remaining co-owner will be responsible for the house payments and upkeep unless that person can afford to pay the bills if the affected co-owner should lose income.
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JoAnn29 Dec 2022
OP has not returned since originally posted. Post is over a month old.
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I am not sure the bank will allow you to do this…. When DH and I took out a loan against our home to have the roof replaced the bank wanted to know this. They are going to make sure it’s a good financial decision for them as well.
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November 3 question.
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