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I just this week read a statistic that said once a senior starts falling they will have a catastrophic fall within 2 years (meaning, no more mobility or death from hitting their head). If he's resistant, nagging him won't change his mind. Climbing stairs strengthens the leg muscles required to not shuffle. Can you come up with a reason to get him to go up and down stairs with you? Also, he might be having balance issues that are not related to leg strength and this should be checked (like inner ear problems from infections, vertigo, etc). In the end, all you can do is give him facts (like shuffling - not picking his feet up enough when he walks - is a huge reason the elderly fall ). My mom is 91 and we always talk about her doing things to keep her mobility. Once that is gone, much about his life is lost and your task as caregiver changes significantly. I'm hoping you can also have this discussion with your sister so she understands what is at stake.
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When my mom would walk without an assistive device, she would sometimes lose balance some and grab my arm. The jerking motion would knock me off balance and I had to try to keep us both from falling. So I held fast that she needed to use a walker when we went out, because she was putting us both at risk. Your sister is free to walk with your dad without a cane, when she visits. But neither gets to expect you to risk injury.
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Look at a three wheel rollator. Sporty, light. My mom was resistant to canes and walkers, but she took to the rollator.
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Imho, the sibling who is NOT the caregiver does not get a say on hands on - whether your LO needs a cane. That's rich for her to say that he doesn't need a cane when she is out of state! How ridiculous. YOU are the one who dictates when he needs a cane. Better to be safe, than to fall and break a bone.
And may I say the grabbing onto the carer's arm for support by the elder leads to a big disaster - since both could then fall to the ground.
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Davenport May 2020
Ditto that, Llamalover : )
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Martz, I sure did have this issue. I'm sure we'll all have had differing and unique experiences with this. Here's my experience:

Like your dad, this situation is all about vanity and ego. I find that so very sad : ( After mom had 3 falls w/broken bones needing surgery in 2 yrs., I began to be a very squeaky wheel about the cane. Finally moved on from that by buying an expensive, hand-made, 'elegant' cane. Used her grocery cart for a walker (so no one would notice she was 90). Doc, ortho, and Occupational Therapist eventually said cane wasn't good enough, she needed a walker (as primary CG, I already was well aware of that). This was a MAJOR, negative change. My mom stopped leaving the house, going to her bridge games, and going to grocery store with me accompanying (from then on, I was the sole grocery shopper). It took MONTHS for my mom to 'remember' to use it, even in the house (where all the falls had occurred)--I frequently had to ask 'where's your walker'? She was used to walls (when she could), but also going from furniture to furniture. Problem with that was, she didn't understand that couch and other very heavy furniture was fine, but dining room chairs, etc. weren't o.k. (too light, she'd take them down with her). She does finally use walker in the house, to haircuts, dentist, dr., podiatrist.

Very sad that our loved ones' health and safety can be a distant second to appearances. At 65 and healthy, I've learned SO much from my mom, mainly how NOT to be when I'm there, so I've got a lot of time to physically and emotionally prepare. During the course of my mom's transition, we stopped getting along and became adversaries. The worst--I started actively disliking my mom as selfish for not taking her 7/24, 64 y/o daughter caretaker, who was the active participant in ambulance runs, 911 calls at all hours, decision-maker with ortho surgeons, and post-surgery nurse into consideration.

Stay here and stay strong !!
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A cane is OK for home, but it just pivots if you start to fall. It's not helpful outside, and a walker is a better choice.

If he's that bad, then he'll either need PT to help him with his balance, or sad to say, he'll likely have to fall to figure it out.
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ask your sister that IF he falls is SHE going to come and take care of him?  My father didn't like the idea either, but after a couple falls (nothing serious), I got him a cane and said he needed to use it because the next time he falls it might be worse and end up in hospital.  Men have more pride (especially if they are older) and don't want people to look at them as a cripple.  I also explained that everyone needs help in some way or another,  some people have to wear glasses to help them see, some need a cane to give a little extra support in walking.  Your sister doesn't have to worry apparently cause she knows that if anything happens, it will fall on your shoulders.  Get him a cane and ask him to use it.  Tell him there are other people (even young people) that need to use a cane as an extra support system.  tell him you care about him that you don't want him to fall.
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Mother loved her cane. It made her look a little bit old, but kind of sporty-old.

She demanded and received hip replacement surgery, even tho the surgeon TOLD HER she would not be able to manage with only a cane for support.

he was right. She tried and tried, but she'd swivel with only the cane and a lot of falls made her more attached to the walker. She wants another hip replacement, but she's 90 now and he said 'absolutely not, you will be in a wheelchair' which she actually wouldn't mind!

So her days are spent 'chasing' her walker. She's never acclimated to it and will sometimes try to walk around her apt with just hanging onto the walls. More than once she's grabbed at ME and we both go down.

I like to hike and I don't go w/o my walking sticks. A fall in the mountains and I'd be toast. Nobody gives me 'looks'--I think your dad is like my mom-they think the world is looking at them!

I saw a gentleman take a terrible fall at WalMart yesterday. He'd 'lost' his wife--I guess he'd been pushing the cart and wandered off. I saw him from a distance and knew just what was happening--poor guy! He just collapsed, didn't trip or anything, just went down. A lot of people went to help him, he was banged up but seemed OK. He was then with his wife, and hanging on that cart like grim death.
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Went through this with my dad who is 89 and has arthritis in his hips and back. I told him to try it for a week and if he didn't think it would help, he didn't have to use it again. Guess what? He decided it was helpful. Went through the same thing when it was really time for him to have a rollator/walker. He used two canes for awhile but when my mother had a heart problem that made her lightheaded and needed to use a rollator for a few months, he used it a few times and decided it wasn't such a bad thing. So bought him a bright red rollator (all it his little red corvette" and he doesn't go anywhere without it.
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