He has Parkinson’s Disease and vision problems that require more care than we can give him because we both have full time jobs. I have been looking at assisted living facilities for him over the last year but he fights me tooth and nail about moving out for his own safety and our concerns for his social and medical needs. I know he has it made with us (rent-free!) but he doesn’t think he has any issues. It is ruining our relationship with him and beginning to affect our relationship with each other. He thinks he can go to a senior apartment but he can’t live alone due to medication management issues and fall risks, as well as the fact he can’t drive. Should we try out the apartment thing and wait for a crisis to happen or stick to assisted living options? I wanted to travel to finally see my mom after a year and a half due to Covid but had to shell out $900 for respite care for my fil to do that. I can’t do that every time we go away and now that Covid restrictions are easing, we are going to want to start traveling again. I have been reading this forum for a while and appreciate the answers of those who have or are walking in our shoes. Thanks!
There are some Assisted Living set ups that have terrific efficiency apartment arrangements, pleasant dining rooms and common areas, and full activity programs, including trips out and scheduled visits to malls for shopping and kibitzing.
EVERYTHING has been ruined by Covid, but don’t give up. After he’s safe in a comfortable, well managed AL, you’ll be able to recover the previously comfortable relationship you knew with him in the past.
You have lost some of the balance you had before he became your full time responsibility. It is time for you and your husband to enjoy the benefits of your hard work. Balance is an important aspect of caregiving.
Good luck to you and your family.