He can no longer drive, because he was making poor choices, and he reflexes are slow. The other day, He wanted to go to lunch, but I had not been feeling well. He said he would go pick up some lunch. He kept asking why not? I showed him a letter from the neurologist which states that he cannot drive because he has Cognitive Decline. He then wanted to know what that was, and how did they know. I showed Jim reports from his neurologist and a second opinion, both concluding that he has decline and possibly some sort of dementia. The reports both indicated that I had given my observations to the doctors. So, now he is blaming me for telling the doctors that something is wrong with him just so I can control him. I don’t know how to deal with this. The other day he found my hidden keys. I found out when I tried to drive and realized I didn’t have them in my purse. With a smirk on his face, he gave up my keys. Thankfully, he did not try to drive.
Just keep repeating “ the doctor said you can’t drive “. Don’t mention cognitive decline or dementia . They get angry .
Hide the keys better . Park the car out of sight if possible .
It’s awful . He will never understand .
My ( late )mother , ( late ) father in law , and now my sister with dementia were the same . Even if they were aware early on of problems , as it progresses, they often reach a point that they no longer are aware , and insist there is nothing wrong and blame the people closest to them . I sympathize with you .
You cannot win. Keep the letter copy handy and keep handing it to him with a brief "I am so sorry this happened to you". When he says "YOU did it" just say "Do you think so?" Then I apologize.
Divert.
Deflect.
NEVER argue or defend.
Watch all the Teepa Snow you are able to access (still I think on youtube free).
When you cannot live with this then hubby must be placed. This won't stop. He will become more angry. And it is common to the disease, a hallmark of the disease, not unusual for the disease.
I understand, and sympathize more than I can say, with your frustration. But your husband has a condition that isn't going to change and which hasn't a cure and which will worsen. Not everything, sadly, can be fixed. I am so very sorry.