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She says I can't kick her out and she can take the house and kick me out. Is that true?

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The caseworker is Medicaid for her health insurance. She/he has nothing to do with Medicare. She/he also has nothing to do where Moms lives. He/she's only is responsible to see that Mom stays within the criteria need to get Medicade.

You may have to evict Mom if u own the house. Call your labor board and see how this can be done. I am assuming you own the house. I think a child with challenges trumps a 68 yr old woman who is able to take care of herself.

If Mom ever strikes you or hits your child, call the police and have her removed. Tell them she can't return.
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worriedinCali Mar 2020
Call the labor board? WHY? The labor board protects the rights of private sector employees. They have nothing to do with evictions. You don’t call the labor board for information on how to evict a family member.
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I don't suggest it is the OP's responsibility to find alternative housing for her mother. I'm suggesting it would be a useful step.
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Sammy, you have a child with Down Syndrome. How old is your child?
How long has your mother been living with you?
Why did your mother come to live with you?
Where else might your mother be able to live?
Have you been involved in discussions with your mother's case worker?

If the house is your house, it is owned by you, your mother can't "take it and kick you out." Even if, God forbid, there were reasons to investigate elder abuse and you were prevented from staying there until the issues had been resolved, it wouldn't make the house permanently hers.

I am, as you see, assuming that you are not abusing your mother. But bear in mind that screaming and yelling* at a vulnerable person is abuse. I'm sure you feel differently! - but remember that as far as adult protection is concerned your mother is a vulnerable person.

But what is going on? What's leading to these arguments?

PS * or using homelessness as a threat, by the way
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FloridaDD Mar 2020
It is not OPs responsibility to find a place for her mom to live.   It is her responsibility to find a place for her child.  A safe place.   Screaming and  yelling may be abuse, but OP has every right to pursue her legal remedies to evict her mom, but in the era of Corona it may be tough, depending on the state.   If OP owns the home, she just tell the social worker, I will be pursing eviction, you need to find another place for mom
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Domestic violence laws won’t have you thrown out immediately. And this wouldn’t be domestic violence anyway, it would be elder abuse. Don’t listen to the fear mongering. There has to be evidence not just your moms word.
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anonymous1010889 Mar 2020
Cali, I respect your voice of reason and appreciate the knowledge you have since your DH is law enforcement. My strong-armed answer was not meant for fear mongering but to emphasize how potentially serious this could be. I have seen this occur first hand in a false allegation. The alleged abuser was immediately arrested and an order of protection placed so that she (home owner) was immediately removed and could not return to her own home. The arresting officers had no evidence of abuse but said it was for the courts to figure out. Not all officers have the morals and work ethics that your husband possesses. False allegations ruin lives and I believe it’s important for the OP to be aware of what can happen. Hopefully nothing does. But, if it’s an already argumentative situation, it is a solid suggestion to reconsider the living arrangements. I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine that the mother is complaining to her case worker about her version of what’s happening. Just not a good situation. Honestly, I value your input. Please don’t negate mine.
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The caseworker represents your MOM, she does not care bout you.   Remember that.   Domestic violence claims can be abused.   If your house, I would put cameras in.   You may need to contact a lawyer for you, STAT.   If your mom owns the house, caseworker is right, you need to leave.
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Regardless of who owns the home, if your mom makes a complaint that you are abusing her then domestic violence protection laws will remove you from the home and she will be able to stay there. Such cases can take a long time to be resolved for you to be able to return. In your profile you describe your mom as hateful and selfish. Is she awful enough to do that to you and your daughter? To be brutally honest, if the relationship between you and your mother has deteriorated to the point that there are arguments and statements that she should leave, then something needs to change. Your mother sounds like a classic narcissist and if so, she doesn’t care who gets hurt in the end. Please protect yourself and your daughter and work on getting your mom out of the house. Good luck to you.
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It depends. Who owns the house? You or your mom?
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