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Everyone says they want to go home...even though they may not have the wherewithal to know what that means and why they can't.  Yes, I think the aide was out of line saying that to you and adding another layer of guilt which I am sure you don't need.  You stated it yourself..."you are unable to care for him."  That is why all of us place our family members.  These facilities have three shifts of people and the proper equipment and resources to do the job.  Sounds like the aide needs additional training on how to deal with residents in this situation.
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