She hasn’t had a bath for three weeks even was in the hospital and she wouldn’t let them help her. I have a shower chair and grab bars. And i would even help her. She has very dry skin like it’s so dry it come where ever she sit and in her bed. I just don’t know what to do
I never asked my Mom if she wanted a shower, I just said "time for a shower" and walked her in. You want the room warm. I suggest a hand held shower head. They really don't like the water coming down on them. You rinse, suds up and rinse again. I put a hand towel on the toilet seat, sit her down and dry her down quickly. She will only need a bath 2 or 3x a week at most. You can sponge bathe her in between.
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Have you ever asked her, "Mom, for health reasons your doctor wants you to clean up once a week. How would you like to do this?" and see if she tells you.
If she has never allowed the hospital staff to bathe her either, this is probably a fear rather than something you're doing wrong. Sometimes an experienced home health aide of the same gender can succeed because they're used to helping older adults who are reluctant to bathe. My Aunt with very advanced dementia wouldn't allow us to help her bath but a neighbor who was also an experienced caregiver was able. Sometimes my Aunt put up a fuss but the neighbor was patient and was always able to get her to do it.