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In her condition [ stroke left side] she has asphasia, weak on left side, and a fall risk. She is still confused and doesn't seem to realize she needs to get as much rehabilitation as possible. The hospital called and states that she is going against doctors orders and won't stay in bed... states that she is leaving.
What is your take on this? Isn't their job to watch her? I mean she's going to be in a wheelchair and eat through a feeding tube the rest of her life if she goes home now.

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I agree with 97yroldmom.............can you have a family member stay with your mother in the hospital to ensure her compliance? Hospital delirium is a VERY real thing and it's horrible! I witnessed it with my own mother and she was off the rails seeing mice crawling on the floor and all sorts of things. Put that together with a stroke & the possibility of dementia and you've got a big problem on your hands. It's not the hospital's 'job' to make sure your mother doesn't get up out of her bed after being told not to b/c that would mean she'd need 24/7 supervision which they're simply not equipped to provide. A family member sitting with her is your best bet. Don't focus on what you feel the hospital's job is, but on what you can do yourself to get mom the help she needs to get from point A to point B.

According to your profile, your mother is 54 years old!!!!! At such a young age, she'll need rehab to get back on her feet after she's released from the hospital. It's crucial that she's sent for rehab to a facility that can effectively manage her and help her with PT and OT to where she can lead a productive life after she's released. Speak to the hospitalist and her doctor about which rehab facility would be best for your mom, and go from there.

If she's sent to a Skilled Nursing Facility for rehab and doesn't make progress and get back to where she can function on her own again, she can stay in their long term care wing permanently and you can apply for Medicaid to finance it. So that's something else to consider, not knowing how things will turn out given the severity of her stroke.

I'm sorry you're all going through such a stressful situation and I will pray for the best possible outcome for her. Sending you a hug.
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I would ask, what do they think you can do. Love it that usually you get "she is our patient" until they have a problem controlling them and then its the families problem. They are the professionals and they should know how to handle a patient.
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I am sorry your mom has had a stroke. The reality of what all that means will take awhile to sink in.

Be careful not to enable her making decisions that will hurt her long term, like helping her to come home before everything that’s possible has been done to help her recover.

But also realize that her mind may not be able to grasp the situation.

Hospitals can’t restrain a patient and they don’t have the staff to sit with them one on one.

I would try to have a family member with her during this difficult yet crucial time to encourage her to do the therapy.

As you said, her future depends on it and if you are likely to be her advocate a large portion of your future depends on it as well.
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Confusion in part can be a the result of the stroke.
She may have vascular dementia, the stroke is part of the disease.
Being in a hospital also adds to confusion, so much so that there is a recognized condition called Hospital Delirium. The severity can vary.
If she will be released to go to rehab try to locate a rehab that also has a wing or floor for Memory Care. Logically PT and OT that work more often with patients that have dementia have better ways to deal with the problems that come with that. Not participating.
And....
If you can not care for her if she remains in a wheelchair and or has a feeding tube you need to discuss now with a Social Worker that she will not be safe at home and you can not care for her. They can start the process of looking for a facility that will be appropriate. Either Memory Care of Skilled Nursing. Most likely Skilled Nursing as most Memory Care facilities will not accept a patient with any "tubes" feeding, IV's, catheters....
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So sorry your Mother had this stroke. Strokes differ greatly in severity - recovery differs greatly too. Sometimes quick recovery gains can be made, but sometimes it can take a long time to see what level of recovery is possible.

As well as the visible symptoms of asphasia & limb weakness, the invisible injury is to her brain. So confusion, changes in thinking, changes in emotions & impairment sadly are often present too.

Move your focus from trying to reason with your Mother or convincing her of the facts just now. Focus on being her advocate to get the care & rehab she needs & to increase supervision & safety.
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