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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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The only thing you are "wrong" about is that you didn't charge her $600 monthly from the beginning! Do the math: 10 years x 12 months = 120 months x $600 = $7,200 you gave away.
Especially with your Mother never helping with meals or cleaning? So you like being an unpaid slave? If she has complaints, tell her to find somewhere cheaper.
I hope your husband heals quickly and you can get stabilized again. I don't think asking your mom to help out since as you say she does not cook or clean is a bad idea. As JoAnn29 said you might want to get it put in writing.
Not wrong. What is wrong is that you did not start this 10 years ago. Now...I might add fuel to your fire but she should be paying her FAIR share of ALL household expenses. For example if there are 3 of you in the house she pays 1/3 of Mortgage, gas, electric, water, garbage, food, homeowners insurance, HOA fee, and any other expense. AND if you take her to doctor appointments she should be paying you for gas and mileage.
If you took in a boarder to live with you would you let them stay for free? If you yourself moved into someone's house would you expect them to charge you nothing?
Of course not.
So why would you think your mother isn't supposed to pay? $600 a month is more than fair and reasonable. In fact, it's generous. This is the price a person would give to family they love. Where I live it's at least $1,000 a month for a bedroom somewhere. Your mother is getting a very good deal with you asking $600 and she should be glad to get it.
Rent and/or chipping in for utilities, food etc is always appropriate . She can’t live in an apartment for $600 a month . If Mom isn’t happy , she can move out . If Mom doesn’t have much money , she can put her name on the wait list for senior housing apts that the rent is based on her SS income
She should at least cover the expenses of her living there, you don't need to "profit" from it: utilities, cable and internet (if she uses those), taxes and insurance,, some maintenance and repairs. If she were out in the real world renting, this is what her rent would cover (but also profit). She couldn't find a nice, safe place like your home in the outside world for $600. Rents where I live are $1500 for a single bedroom.
Does she get SSI? What is she doing with that money if she's not paying rent?
Yes, she receives ssi. So, originally because her income wasn't much, I only took 300 a month for the first 9 and half years, which covered everythingfir her. My husband recently had very invasive neck surgery and is no longer able to work and she knows this and is still begrudging me the other money knowing that this will help me. She has never cooked a meal for me or my husband nore does she help with cleaning.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do the math:
10 years x 12 months = 120 months x $600 = $7,200 you gave away.
Especially with your Mother never helping with meals or cleaning? So you like being an unpaid slave? If she has complaints, tell her to find somewhere cheaper.
Now...I might add fuel to your fire but she should be paying her FAIR share of ALL household expenses.
For example if there are 3 of you in the house she pays 1/3 of Mortgage, gas, electric, water, garbage, food, homeowners insurance, HOA fee, and any other expense. AND if you take her to doctor appointments she should be paying you for gas and mileage.
Of course not.
So why would you think your mother isn't supposed to pay? $600 a month is more than fair and reasonable. In fact, it's generous. This is the price a person would give to family they love. Where I live it's at least $1,000 a month for a bedroom somewhere. Your mother is getting a very good deal with you asking $600 and she should be glad to get it.
Does she get SSI? What is she doing with that money if she's not paying rent?