Everything I do is wrong. He is trying to override decisions that were made by mom. I am Executor of the Will and he is saying that it is not true. The Trustee has the original will as does the Funeral Home but he continues to phone the Funeral Home to change things. The Funeral Home are fed up with his interference. His actions are making this a very difficult situation. I have no time to grieve myself due to his continuous blowing up my phone with horrible texts. I do not answer them except once a day but only comment to things if he is seeking information. I have been asked to save the texts as they may be needed for evidence that is how serious this has gotten. Has anyone else gone through a family nightmare when it comes to a funeral? I am not sure how much longer I can keep up with this kind of treatment.
that’s so toxic, If it was me I think I would be done with his mentally ill self.
if you have an iPhone you can screen shot all those text messages and email them to your self. Plus you can block and unblock him, as in unblock him send details then afterwards block him so he can’t harass you
However if he is beyond that I agree with the others, you can only make sure you are not his whipping post and stop replying to him. Just inform him when you have to and write him off until he has more control.
I fell out with a brother after my dad died. We got over it eventually.
It is all easier said than done and good luck.
Its now five days since ur post. Have you had the service. Hoping it all went well.
I can relate a little to your experience and hope that my advice and the actions I took might be of help to you. When my father died in 2019, my stepmother transferred all her anger and grief on me, starting a few days before he died and continuing up to the funeral and beyond. Anyone who has read some of my previous posts will know the details and the effect this had on me. I decided early on that I would deal with the funeral and the other formalities and then cease contact with my stepmother. I too got the interference with the funeral arrangements even though she had asked me to arrange everything, and also got general abuse on a daily basis up to and including on the day of the funeral. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I was soon going to walk away for good. Immediately after the funeral she started to text and phone me several times every day and became abusive if I wasn't available to pick up calls instantly. Every call and message had me in tears, and frankly close to a nervous collapse, to the point that I had to block her number and ask my husband to deal with her calls/messages. Do you have someone who can field your brother's calls for you? In terms of sorting out my father's estate, to avoid direct contact with my stepmother I instructed my solicitor to handle everything and just to run things by me that needed approval, so that I never had to have any direct contact with her. Is this an approach you could take, too? It is so important that you look after yourself as best you can right now. Your brother is responsible for his behaviour, not you, and if this leads to a period of reduced or no contact between both of you, it will not be your fault in any way, but merely a way for you to stay well. 15 months on from my own experience, I know I took the only route that stopped me from having a nervous breakdown. I hope some of this might help you, and that you can take comfort in knowing you are not alone with the difficulties you are having.
Right now, all you need in your life is "peace."
Turn the phone off.
Sometimes it is truly better to avoid certain people, family or not!