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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Even if Mom is physically able, it sounds like she is no longer fully independent with the task of bathing/dressing 😔
Is Mom living with you or in her own place?
Assistance will be required. Even if living with you, as others have said, consider an aide 2 x week. It's amazing how folk will go along with a bathing routine for an aide they get used to (but arc up for family). Plus you can wear out...
If Mom is living alone, this is a great big warning sign that sequencing, short-term memory, judgement & planning have diminished (increasing safety concerns).
Watch some Teepa Snow videos on YouTube discussing techniques to help demented elders bathe and feel safe doing so. Your mother is going to need help and guidance with everything, so that includes putting her dirty clothes in the washing machine and dressing her in clean clothes daily, etc. Expecting her to do things of her own volition is a waste of energy. Bathing 2x a week is plenty, also, since you'll likely face a fight with that too. Pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is a great reference book to answer a lot of your questions about how to handle certain situations.
Thank you, Lizbitty and Daughterof1930. It's actually nice to know that I am not alone in this. We just started with a new healthcare aide and will see how things go. Appreciate the quick response. --JELDaughter
My MIL will only change her clothes if they’re dirty, and she can see that they’re dirty. Right now she’s worn the same shirt for weeks, but we haven’t been able to encourage her to change it. If you can, try helping her wash her hands, and get water on the sleeves. “Oops, Mom! Your sleeves are wet! Let’s go and change your shirt.” Then taken out a full change of clothes.
It’s not uncommon for the elderly to become nose blind, and don’t smell their own filth.
Agree with others that getting a PSW who specializes in bathing would probably be best, but do it ASAP. The longer they go without bathing, the less they’re likely to want to do it again.
With dementia, sadly any method you put place will eventually be lost. She’s going to require ongoing guidance for both. You can restrict her access to clothing, leaving out only one option but that’s a lot of work on you. Bathing often becomes fearful, a bath aide may be helpful
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is Mom living with you or in her own place?
Assistance will be required. Even if living with you, as others have said, consider an aide 2 x week. It's amazing how folk will go along with a bathing routine for an aide they get used to (but arc up for family). Plus you can wear out...
If Mom is living alone, this is a great big warning sign that sequencing, short-term memory, judgement & planning have diminished (increasing safety concerns).
Good luck!
It’s not uncommon for the elderly to become nose blind, and don’t smell their own filth.
Agree with others that getting a PSW who specializes in bathing would probably be best, but do it ASAP. The longer they go without bathing, the less they’re likely to want to do it again.