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I apologize for being blunt here.

"...What should my expectations be in this blossoming relationship?..."

Your guy hardly has anytime for himself and much less for a relationship. So, I wouldn't characterize your relationship as "blossoming." It's not going to blossom into anything fulfilling by your expectation. Perhaps after his dad dies. It could be months or it could be years from now.

He needs a bit of relationship outside of his stressful caregiving job. I totally get it and I don't blame him. Caregiving sucks the life out of the caregivers. So he went searching online and met you. Whatever attention he can give you now is probably the most he can give you. Demanding more from him will put extra burden and extra stress on the poor guy, and will result in disappointment on your part.

So, the decision is yours. Accept him as he is and be OK with the little attention he can give you. Or move on. Both choices are not wrong. The wrong choice is staying with him and demanding more attention which he can't give.
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Falling4ACrgvr Sep 2020
Hello! I appreciate your bluntness! That’s my exact thought, it’s wrong for me to ask for more than this right now. From what I have been able to learn from him, it has been confirmed by the background check (so he’s not married and trying to cover it up with a caregiving ruse). We are a 5 hour drive from each other and COVID is abound, so meeting anytime soon is off the table (to keep ourselves safe and his dad safe). Our phone calls were longer, almost two hours each time, with his father nearby. But they were honest and genuine. He didn’t avoid any questions that I asked. I guess I will cool my heels, wait it out at least until COVID dissipates or there’s a viable vaccine. Once I can meet him and or his dad in person, I will be able to make my decision. Many thanks!
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If one is a 24/7 caregiver for an elder, there is no time or mental energy for much else.

Does he have any help caring for his dad?
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Falling4ACrgvr Sep 2020
Hello! His sisters and niece take turns to relieve him a bit on the weekends. He uses that time to shop and run errands. But they are unable to lift his dad as he can to carry him room to room and up and down steps. So he is still present to do the grave with even when they are present.
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Dear "Falling4ACrgvr,"

I know it's easy to get hopes up but, what types of information do background checks give you?
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Falling4ACrgvr Sep 2020
Hello! The background check confirmed his story—he does live with his father, he is not married, his previous employment and criminal background are clear. I wanted to be sure he wasn’t married or in a relationship and making caregiving as an excuse to not being available.
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