He has made their lives miserable. They are very kind peaceful people that do not want to live out the rest of their lives with this aggressive angry man living in their living room. The police have come three times, they said nothing they can do. He drinks and does drugs. He doesn't medicate himself properly. The county came over senior protection type of service haven't heard back from them in two weeks. He threatens my mom's partner, he swears all the time, and to boot he doesn't pay a penny for rent. What can I do to have him hit the road? I don't live there and can only come by every couple of weeks. Please help.
Finally, my other 2 brothers stepped up to him, read him the riot act and since he (OB) was already in some trouble with the law, he chose to leave and shortly thereafter, mother and dad moved out.
Pretty much robbed my parents blind though--the things that can go on when you are not there can be appalling. OB had mom and dad take out a home equity loan and we didn't know until they went to sell that instead of having a comfortable $300K, they had less than $50K. That and the theft and pawning of everything of any value left them reliant on SS.
He was toxic to the max and they were scared to death of him. Help your parents out--sounds like they act like mine did--just scared and sick.
You said it, honey! My oldest brother started stealing from us at my parents home too. They have to support their drug habit somehow. Anything of value had to be placed under our pillows when we slept, otherwise it would be stolen by him. It was so confusing to me as a kid.
My brother would camp out with them from time to time after the rest of us kids moved out. Broke my heart, felt sad that my brother couldn’t beat his demons and I was always afraid for my parents.
I suppose the worst was when he committed armed robbery and he was arrested at my parents home. Was on the evening news and everything.
That broke my parents hearts. He did 7 years in jail for that crime. My parents visited him. I never did. I just couldn’t but it effected me in ways that I did not expect. Hard to explain. I struggled to eat because I knew that he would be eating slop. I have always had the problem of not being able to eat when I get terribly upset. I know some people turn to food but I have always done the opposite. I can’t eat.
When my brother got out of jail he continued his same lifestyle. Hell, he did drugs in jail. Don’t think prisoners don’t have access to drugs. They do.
Anyway, many times he tried to crash at my house. No way! I didn’t even leave a tiny crack for that to happen. I grew up with him as an addict so I knew the pain. There was absolutely no way in hell that I would expose my kids to that. Eventually, I had to completely cut him out of my life.
He’s been dead since 2013. I did made peace with him at the end of his life at the hospice facility. I was the one to make his cremation and burial arrangements.
Growing up in such dysfunction leaves scars, doesn’t it, Mid? Plus, it’s really hard to sort out our emotions as kids and I had no clue how to articulate those emotions as a kid.
God knows, throughout the years I tried to help my brother and in general was the ‘peacemaker’ in my family, desperately trying to heal the hurt.
After a bazillion attempts and feeling enormous pain, I finally surrendered and realized I did not have any super powers. So, that’s where it stands.
I guess that leaves me sort of like an orphan without the family that I grew up with, which is unfortunate but, hey I don’t miss the agony from mom or my brothers!
Thank God for this forum and a good therapist! You and I are works in progress, Mid but there is healing for us. Stay strong and I will do my best as well. Hugs!
Take care, Mid. I always feel a strong connection to anything that you post. Keep sharing your wisdom, Mid. We love you! 💗
Then they can press charges for trespassing if he comes back.
I hope you can find some answers to, at the very least, get this destructive person out of your mom's house. I'm sorry he's mentally ill but I'm even more concerned about the vulnerable elderly people he's endangering and scaring.
This is so tough. I don’t understand why the police can’t help. What complaint did your parents make to the police concerning your brother?
It’s your parent’s home so he is trespassing unless he was invited. Can you share a bit more info please?
You may have to start an eviction process. It doesn’t sound like he is willing to leave on his own so he will have to be forced out.
Do you live in your parent’s home too? Who cares for your parents? Do you look after them?
When does your brother leave home? Buy new locks. When he leaves install the new locks and he will not be able to enter the home. If he tries to break in he is breaking the law and will be arrested.
She will need to give him notice and follow the rules of her county. If this doesn’t work (he comes back after being removed) then try filing a peace bond. The eviction should work. I know this is very hard for your mom. Your brother needs help. This is a tough situation.