She also refuses to share mom's funeral details or house details with the rest of of we siblings, so no one has any idea what's going on. She gets very defensive when questioned, and always says she has to consult with her attorney. What should the rest of us do?
Your sister is Moms representative and as such, she can tell you nothing. POAs do not release any financial info or medical info if they have the medical proxy. Why are you worried about her funeral. Can't do anything until she passes. If Mom prepaid for a funeral, the funeral director will have the arrangements and will carry them out.
Leave your sister alone. She is doing what her POA allows her to do.
Not sure why anyone needs funeral or other plans while mom is alive? I was my dad’s POA and executor of his will. The lawyer who did both documents was clear with both dad and me that wills (which included info on funeral) were not discussed until dad died. Wills are a person’s wishes after death, not a weapon or a shopping list, they really don’t need discussion
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-sister-is-my-moms-poa-but-there-are-4-other-siblings-that-cant-get-any-information-from-her-what--496405.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/if-theres-no-one-responsible-for-mom-except-for-one-sister-and-something-should-happen-to-her-what-d-498093.htm
Did you not like any of the suggestions?
This question also seems to want to get legitimacy by querying only “legal” matters so that we won’t see the real goal…”What am I getting?”.
I tried sharing with my sibling what I was doing. She thought it was an opportunity for her to correct what she thought I got wrong. I told her that I was prepaying funeral expenses and she replied, no you aren’t! Mom has the same insurance dad had and it will cover it. She was speaking of the final payment on their teacher’s retirement of $10k. Mom received all 10k because she was nearly 70. I most likely will not because I am just 60 so $2k goes to the Feds. $8k won’t cover a funeral in the US. Most places it would be double that. If I had waited, the cost only goes up and whatever wasn’t covered would have to be paid by me. They would make promises but they both owe our mother more than $10k now and both owe me about $2k so they would make a promise but it would never actually happen. I was fortunate that a small town funeral only cost about $12 k three years ago and now it’s fully paid and not by me. The $8k will got toward mom’s final expenses and a headstone. Whatever is left over is mine as I am the sole beneficiary, determined a decade ago in writing by my mom.