We watch tv together and Lyn often misses the story/plot or doesn’t accept that it’s just ended. It’s a bit like being with a child. I guess this is our life and relationship now. Our GP suggested a Geriatrician but I was totally underwhelmed . I was expecting some sort of help and direction but all we got was a “”meet and greet “”.. social 1 hour chat, $400 bill and invitation to come back again..for more of the same???
Question……what do geriatricians do and has anyone had a good experience with one ???
Yes, your life is now changed drastically, and it is hard to accept. I have sympathy for you for that reason alone.
My education in dementia was from the used book store. Some great reading for you would be "The 36 Hour Day" (by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins.) Get a copy pronto. The best book I ever read about dealing with dementia.
I do believe knowing the right Dementia is important because of Meds. I think its Lewy Body and Parkinsons mimick each other but the Med used for one if used on the other can kill the patient. So you need to know for sure if its Parkinsons or Lewy Body. I would trust a neurologist over a PCP in making that diagnosis.
And as you know, vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years, so at this point you just need to make her life and yours as stress free as possible and just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her.
When my late husband was first diagnosed with vascular dementia(he died a little over 2 years after being diagnosed)the very first book I read was The 36 Hour Day, and that gave me such great insight into just what my husband was going through. Please read it if you haven't already, and just remember that it's much easier to go along with whatever your wife is saying than trying to correct her or argue with her as that will only make you both very frustrated.
I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
I'm hoping that at her young age she has gone through a thorough physical exam and labwork to make sure she has something cognitive rather than something else that can be treated. Often, this is how dementia is diagnosed: by the process of eliminating all other possibilities.
Geriatricians are used to working with people over 65 and their specific issues. If it were me, I'd want to see a neurologist.
My mother was obsessed with her dead relatives during the later stages of her vascular dementia journey. At first I'd tell her stories about where her mama was......out of town, the phone was broken, etc, until one day she yelled, "YOU'RE FULL OF sh!%" in my face. So I told her mama was gone for 40 years now. She actually took it in stride, then went back to looking for mama in the closets at her Memory Care Assisted Living facility the next day. Ativan helped her relax a bit in her never ending quest to find her deceased family. Tell your wife a therapeutic fib or tell her the truth, she'll forget what you tell her anyway. Once a person with dementia gets an idea in her head, you cannot chop it out of there with an AXE. #Truth.
Stick around here and ask questions. Many of us have been in your shoes for years and can give you advice based on experience which is very useful.
I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you good luck and Godspeed with a difficult situation.