I had a room for rent. I saw a post on FB there was a 70 YOF looking for a room to rent. I had one, so I contacted the poster. The poster was a nurse aide for roommate ("S"). The nurse aide said "S" was independent, took care of herself, used the bathroom on her own and used pull-ups for "just in case she didn't make it), feeds herself, washes and dresses herself, etc. "She uses a walker but other than that, all good."
My new roommate "S" has been here 3 weeks. She has physically been in the bathroom 2 times to shower. She has been laying in bed, wetting and pooping in the bed. Filling diapers and dropping them in a bucket next to the bed or on the floor next to the bed. Her nurse aide comes M-F between 9 am. and 3p.m. to help with more challenging things, like laundry, shopping, cleaning. I have not seen the nurse aid take soap and water into her room to bathe her and she has only been in the shower twice. She has half of one kidney and drinks tall cans of Long Island Iced tea every day. She chain smokes cigarettes and smokes weed. She stays in the bed, drinking, smoking, laying in her waste and next to her waste. She opens the windows and leaves them open with temperatures ranging from 30-50 f outside. My heat is running non-stop. The ammonia odor is so strong, I got sores in my nose and it set off the carbon monoxide and explosive gas detector in the kitchen. My washer and dryer wreak of ammonia and poop. At most, she has 30 hours per week with an aide. The other 138 hours per week, she is on her own and not performing any self care other than feeding herself long island ice tea, smoking cigarettes and weed. She is choosing to stay in the bed laying in her waste and with her waste laying around her in balled up blankets on the floor and a short open trash can. I couldn't take the odor anymore and started knocking on the door and pulling her trash out of her room but it is very hard to do with the smell as strong as it is. (She has half of one kidney on top of this.) If her nurse aid doesn't come that day she doesn't eat or drink anything besides the long island ice tea, and she doesn't clean her body or clean up her waste. I had a talk with her because I know she CAN get up and use the bathroom and clean herself up (per her nurse aid) but she chooses not to. I told her I could not allow what is happening here continue. By definition, if she is unable to perform the basics of self care, she needs assistance 24/7. She is harming herself but she is also harming me. I have spent a fortune on odor absorbers, candles, odor blocking detergents, etc. And now my electric bill is going through the roof. I'm freezing to death and can't breathe in my own home. I ran her blankets through the washer for 5 hours, washing over and over and using baking soda and vinegar and odor blocking detergent and still couldn't get the odor out. One blanket was full of burn holes. What can I do? I can't live like this and I can't become her 24/7 caretaker. I caught the windows in her room still open in the middle of the night with her sleeping next to the window with it 38 degrees outside and my heat running non-stop. Her behavior is putting both our health and safety at great risk. When she has a doctor appt, she straightens right up, acts competent, and her aide is right there with her. She comes back here and reverts back to bedridden drinking, smoking, filth, windows open, no self care or bathing, and laying with filth. What course of action can I take to get her the care she needs and to protect my own health and safety? I'm in my 50's. I can't live in waste and cold. I have 2 jobs and my own health problems, I can't be her caretaker at the level she needs.
You need to file for eviction.
This is going to take a while. Maybe even longer than normal due to COVID there had been a moratorium put on evictions.
You CAN NOT lock her out. You CAN NOT toss her belongings out. It has to be a legal eviction. Most likely the court will give her 30 days to vacate AFTER the court hearing.
Was there any restrictions when she moved in? Did you prohibit smoking? If so that is another cause to evict.
Is your house legally able to have renters? Some villages prohibit it unless there are Fire Department regulations that have been met. As well as Building and Zoning regulations. If you legally can not have renters you might want to use that as a basis to have her removed. Report yourself for having an illegal renter. You may have to pay a fine but the court will require her to move. (if you can not make your house up to code if there are violations)
And if you are not paid to be her caregiver then you can also report to APS the fact that she is a vulnerable senior and is not getting the care that she needs.
Just my opinion here but calling 911 won't work. If the renter refuses to go to the ER, the EMTs will not take her. OP can ask that a record be made of the condition they found the renter. If she does go to ER, don't think locks can be changed legally. She can refuse to let her return I would think though. I think when there is no lease its a month to month rental. I think calling APS is the best bet. This woman rented the room under false pretenses. (I bet if a background check had been done, this is probably not the first time) This woman needs help that the OP cannot and should not have to give her. The longer the woman is allowed to remain the harder it will be to get her out. The aide knew what she was doing and it would be interesting to know where they were before this.
Yes! please do not leave us hanging. Come back and tell us how you handle this. Maybe, you could tell the aide you are evicting the renter because the aide gave you false information. If she does not find a new place in the next week you will be calling Adult Protection Services on a vulnerable adult. By calling APS the aide could lose her job so she may get a new place. But be careful. If this is a scam of some sort, these people are very aware of the law and know their rights. I think a letter from a lawyer maybe a good idea.
***IF*** no lease, and under the timeframe for her jurisdiction, the OP can change the locks, throw out the renter, etc, and be within her rights. She should return any funds that were given to her by the woman/caregiver - and return if by check, so there is a record of the transaction! But IF there is no lease, time is of the essence, because the longer this person remains, the greater her rights become. And I would not be surprised if the tenant knows this.
I think is thisreallyreal has the best plan. Once the EMT's see this--they are mandated reporters o f abuse & neglect and they HAVE to call this in.
Then you haul all her garbage out of the house and change the locks while she's in the ER. Maybe out of basic human kindness give the 'friend' a call and tell her you have physically evicted this person.
TAKE PICTURES. Tons of them.
So sorry--you're probably going to have to replace the carpet down to the plywood and paint and spray down the whole room with pet odor control stuff--and air out the room.
When they see the conditions that you described they will probably transport her. She is obviously mentally ill and needs professional intervention. Self neglect is a situation that APS will get involved in. At that point you tell them that she can not safely return to your home. She doesn't have anyone to care for her and you CAN NOT, no explanation needed.
The low levels people will stoop to is mind boggling.
I would change the locks as soon as she is transported. If the aid shows up, tell her to jog on, lying, manipulate piece of work. Let her figure out what to do.
You've gotten great advice. The only think I'd add is to ask you to update us on your progress to get this roommate out of your house. We love it when a poster makes the necessary changes to actually improve their situation (many don't)!
In the meantime...this is not what you signed on to do. This is a failing business arrangement. A landlord has no legal, moral or ethical responsibility to give care to the person/people renting their space.
Move to evict. You owe this person nothing. It should not fall on you to do any of "S's" care, even if she wasn't able to take care of herself, rather than choosing not to take care of herself.
As others said, evict her ASAP! If she ever gets sick and/or needs medical assistance, call 911 and don't allow her back into the house.
I'm sure you've already thought of this, but first thing I thought was that maybe you need to personally interview potential roomies in person. Somewhere neutral like a local restaurant or something.
Good luck!
Eviction will take a minimum of 30 days you don't want to wait that long, I am sure.
Or better, call APS and tell them what happened. Tell them this woman needs care that you can't and are unwilling to give. You feel like she has been dumped in ur lap. You are not even sure you will be paid after the first initial payment. Do it now since its only been 3 wks. APS can get her set up somewhere and investigate the aide.
Legal or not no one has to tolerate smoking of any kind in their home. No place allows smoking anymore and a private house doesn't have to either.
How is she paying for one (because they are expensive)?
Why does she have an aid: for her physical issues? Or does she really have cognitive issues, or both?
Does she have a social worker or legal guardian? Who was the aid who helped arrange her move into your room?
I'm asking these questions because if your roommate isn't making decisions for herself, then you must contact whoever is and hold them accountable for this deception.
If you don't make any progress, call in APS to assess her. They may move to acquire guardianship at some point and can remove her, but it would take a while.