Quick Recap: Last year I became "in charge" of my Mom when my step-dad passed away. She has moderate dementia and can't be left alone. About a year ago, I moved her successfully into a Memory Care Home, about 5 minutes up the road. She settled in, and had a good three to four month run from mid-January to just recently.
Two weeks ago, her brother, whom she hadn't seen in 12 years, was brought to town by my cousin for a visit. He has Alzheimer's, but it was still a sweet reunion. Totally NOT in Mom's normal routine or schedule. Then the following week her personal trainer was out of town, so two BIG changes and coincidentally (or not) she has claimed bowel issues since then.
She thinks she's constipated all the time, and is convinced drinking diet coke keeps her regular. So the diet coke gives her gas, possibly contributes to her diarrhea (which is what she really has), and it's a viscous cycle.
Additionally, her paranoia has increased. She thinks people are stealing her Diet Coke's because she's drinking them so fast because she thinks she's constipated. So she hides her Diet Coke, then can't find it, then gets mad. She's mad. She's mad when she can't find the Diet Coke, she's mad because she's "constipated" she's mad that nobody is fixing the constipation etc.
The nurse decided to increase her depacote to hopefully address the anger/agitation, but so far I haven't seen any changes other than more obsession, more paranoia.
This evening, the nurse called me to ask how we decrease or eliminate the diet coke. ARGH....I warned her that Mom would be angry at everyone, but that I was willing to let her run out and not bring a new supply.
The nurse pointed out that she's already unhappy, so it's not like we would be taking a happy person and depriving them of their only treat.
Thanks for listening to me vent....I hate that I can't fix this, or reason with Mom. She's always been stubborn and once she gets something in her head, dementia or not, she is hard to budge.
Anyone experience something similar or have words of advice or encouragement?
JJ, I hear you on the reluctance to take away the one thing that seems to be what she really wants. The fact that it is apparently bad for her ... not in some distant "could cause x" way but bad for her right now ... puts you in a really tough spot. Hugs to you!
What if you told your mother that you read about something that was even better for constipation and would she like to try it? It could be iced tea or flavored water or any non-carbonated beverage you think she might like but that would be better for her than the pop.
Obsession with the bowel is not uncommon in dementia. I remember one member of my support group bringing it up meeting after meeting that her father insisted he was constipated and spent lots of time in the bathroom, even though he was regular. So weaning Mom from the diet pop may not completely solve her concern about her bowels.
Some would be of the mindset that your mom is already in a nursing home, so apparently in bad health - so why not give her the one thing that makes her happy? I think that might be appropriate for someone who is in the last stages of life and perhaps struggling with appetite issues - my dad's NH staff told us to bring him whatever we wanted in order to try and get some calories into his body, because he was so sick from infections that he wasn't eating and was wasting away. So we brought milkshakes, Coke, burgers - all things to tempt him to eat. But that's far different than your mom with her Diet Coke addiction, which is obviously an obsession.
I use to drink diet sodas back in the 1970's and 1980's, then one day I stopped, I had a gut feeling about aspartame. So I went back to the regular sodas. Wasn't a big drinker of such sodas. Now that I have acid reflex, I went totally off all colas. I do miss my Cherry Coke !!
And yes, some artificial sweeteners can give you the "trots" as my Dad would call it.
I think I wouldn't settle for an increase in curse t psych neds. I'D ASK for a new psych assessment by the geripsych.