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Hello Me and my sister have a problem with my mom. She is living in new jersey with my younger sister. Sold her house in Pa. No one has POA on her we feel like she needs to be assessed. I read that she have to give permission to get assessed. Can anyone advise me on what is the best thing to do? She's not the same, very agitated, argumentive, tonight she accusing someone of going in her room messing things and stealing things. I know we should've done somthing earlier before she got this way and now its hard. She's very hard to live with wants constant attention all time She's fairly in good shape considering her age its just her mental state is not good.

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Does she go to the doctor?

You can always send information to the doctor about her situation, they can not discuss it with you unless you have a HIPAA release, but it will make the doctor aware of what is happening.

Get her tested for a UTI, they are brutal on the elderly and mimic dementia.

Have you guys talked to your mom about getting these forms so that her wishes can be honored in the event that she is hospitalized? Her wishes need to be in writing so that a hospitalist isn't making life altering decisions for her. Maybe she will be willing to implement these documents if she knows that no one will be able to help her without them.
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liljo266 Jul 2020
thank you for your reply No we haven't talked about anything like that Yes, i know we should we will try She is very stubborn and doesn't trust anyone not even her own family But I will bring it up to her
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Hi liljo266,
You can Google: power of attorney forms (and your state's name) and print them off, fill them out and hopefully, your mom is able to sign them. You should have:
A General Power of Attorney Form, a Durable Power of Attorney Form, a Financial Power of Attorney Form, a Medical Power of Attorney Form and Mental Health Power of Attorney Form and an Advanced Directive Form. Also, I would suggest a Living Will Form as well. These documents will require a notary (i.e. they are a witness to you and/or your sister's and mom's signatures). Make a couple of copies too and if you have a safety deposit box at your bank, keep a copy in there and keep a set with you and your sister - good luck!
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Usually you can't get a POA after a person is no longer competent or of sound mind. Trying for legal guardianship is possibly your best option.
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AnnReid Jul 2020
Or if she can be sold on the idea, get POA BEFORE assessment, as long as she’s willing AND her three caregivers are ALL focused on her welfare.

Also, “legal” competence and “functional” competence can be 2 different things. You may be able to get a lawyer to do a POA with her more quickly. Sometimes the expense of a lawyer is well worth the annoyance and complications of going for guardianship as the first step.
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