My elderly mother is addicted to opioids. It used to be alcohol for the first half of my life and then she moved on to just pills. She is severely depressed and says the pain pills help her. She’s played every classic trick you could think of to get the medicine...from doctors, dentists, online, taking our meds and so on. Problem is...they make her sleep all day...she falls...she has horrific hygiene and is a hoarder and so much more.
She lives with my sibling who actually picked up her medicine today (pretending to be helpful) and discovered the doctor prescribed Norco. We have tried to tell kaiser so many times that she has a problem, but she tricked another doctor into giving it to her. Unbelievable. My sibling kept the meds and hid them. My mom is screaming bloody murder and has threatened to hurt herself. She’s calm now, but constantly talks about it being the end of her life.
When she goes into a fit, there is no reasoning. We’ve been to the doc with her where I outright said there was an addiction problem...problem is, I’m guessing the doc didn’t write it down. My mom finds new docs and praises those who gives her meds. No wonder she likes the new one.
Really just venting. I don’t know what to do. I was tempted today to just let her have the meds. I hate that her last years are like this. She used to be able to hide it better, but now that she’s less able to care for herself, the meds don’t metabolize the same and really affect her personality.
Sad.
i can’t suggest highly enough that you go to an Al-anon or Nar-anon meeting asap. These meetings are for the LOVED ONES of addicts. They are NOT for the addict and those who want the addict to stop.
Al-anon has historically been for loved ones who are alcoholics. Nar-anon for loved ones of addicts. HOWEVER, an addiction of ANY mind-altering substance is an addiction.
You will find people who can intimately identify with what you’re going through and you’ll get coping strategies for a very difficult situation. They will give you all the support you need. Consider making it a priority. You won’t regret it.
I live in Kentucky and the state, along with the Board of Pharmacy, has the KASPER (Kentucky All Schedule Prescription Electronic Reporting) system. This is where people who have abused medical prescriptions - mostly narcotics but lots of other stuff too, the computer system has caught it, they’re flagged, and once they get on the list it effectively shuts down doctor shopping. Once they’re Kaspered every and any doctor they see including dentists WILL NOT prescribe her anything that’s on the schedule because it increases their liability dramatically but most importantly it’s the RIGHT thing to do. Sounds like your Mom is very, very good at getting prescriptions. I’d start with her PCP in getting her reported. It will not be unusual for your mother to have to provide a urine specimen at any future appointments after she’s been reported. She’ll be checked regularly.
When it’s done (reported, etc) and your mother flies into a rage shrug your shoulders and say it’s because of her prescription history and the state caught it. It’s her consequences. Could be jail.
This is going to sound hardcore however there’s little difference between the “normal” addict and little old ladies scheming doctors. For whatever reason they want a mind altering substance.
Medical power of attorney is not a bad thing to do. It’s obvious your Mom isn’t able to care for herself. If a geriatric case manager is available they can be extremely helpful.
Good luck.
Yes, APS is possibly going to be needed, if she gets belligerent on you. Still, I do reccomend speaking to the Dr who recently Rx'd the Norco to her, to make sure whether or not to give them to her for a specific reason/diagnosis, as you don't want to be in trouble there either! Good Luck!
I dont know if she’s been taking them regularly. I don’t believe she’s had a prescription for a while. According to her medical record...she hasn’t had any prescribed for maybe a year. Also, we don’t see any medical reason for her to take them. There’s some sort of an infection going on, but that’s it.
If she isnt abusing Norco, then it’s taking other meds used for other medical reasons that really are being used to help her sleep. She also takes Benedryl etc to sleep.
Im close to using the word “lawsuit” with kaiser. Can’t believ they fall for this.
She tried getting Norco for a dental procedure and I intercepted that.
So...of course I’m all for her getting off of whatever she’s addicted to. Norco was a regular thing until she ended up in the hospital multiple times and then stayed with me to recover. It’s been over a year since a prescription, so , unless she’s getting it via the mail (don’t think she can), then she’s not drugged up on it right now.
So I guess the title of my post might not be accurate. I just don’t know. She’s always sneaky and trying to get meds. She’s more open about depression, but still goes into screaming rages. Can’t tell what’s addiction, depression or dementia . Could be all three.
A while back we took her to a psych, with the intention of them checking her memory. The intake person said she seems just fine. I didn’t go in for the psych app, but my mom came out and was furious. Said he looked at her medical history and it sounds like he tried to address her abuse of meds. Said she doesn’t have a memory problem. Honestly, I think she was sarcastic and it doesn’t sound like he handled it well.
Sorry this his is so long. Maybe aps will have to be an option. I just hate going there.
Personally, if my kid tried to "intercept" my medications (assuming I am not demented) with a dr, I would be furious.
BTW, Benadryl to help with sleep is NOT a problem. Love of heaven---it's an antihistamine and used as a sleep aid so often---I mean, you can abuse ANYTHING---but Benadryl will just make your mouth so dry you won't be able to sleep.
Sounds like you and your family need a basic education about medications.
BTW--
You cannot mail order Narcotics. Maybe Tramadol, don't know.
At this point, the meds Are Rx'd, and she should take them per instructions, until you can get advice on how to proceed, as if you withhold them from her, it is YOU who is causing her suffering, and there may be a justifiable reason why she is Rx'd them, and you just do not know it or are privy to the reasons as diagnosed per the Dr. Also, She may well have been quite convincing to the Dr as well, abusers can be quite the Actors, and Not to say she isn't abusing them, but it needs to be figured out with her Dr. It sucks, I'm sure!
I had a family member who was addicted to heroin, he was motivated to kick it and spent months in a facility. Unfortunately the lure of the drugs was too great and he overdosed within a year of getting clean. I know others who have managed to kick the habit, but it is not an easy road.
Drug addiction is not a lack of will power, nor is it a moral failing, but it is incredibly hard on the families' of addicts. You may find that an organization like Narc Anon can help you deal with the situation.
Sorry no offer of help, just an understanding of how difficult the situation can be.