We are a childless couple in our early 80s. Financially, we are not rich, but comfortable. We have no family to care for us; my only sibling 'disowned' me 20 years ago. We have lived in our home >20 years with a mortgage that is cheaper than the current rental market, let alone assisted living or nursing care facility.
Health wise I have several long term problems that would suggest my demise in 5 years or less. My husband is pretty healthy. Neither of us have any signs of dementia.
We have created 2 apartments on our property that currently provide about $4000/month in addition to SS and some retirement savings and investments. Our plan is to use one apartment as part payment for live in caretakers. One apartment is a mother in law so would be private space but always available. It is big enough to accommodate a family.
Also, I highly recommend that you consider a retirement community where there is continuum of care. You start out in your own separate patio home with one to three bedrooms at the facility, which provides housekeeping and yard maintenance. You enjoy all the amenities - dining room (at least one meal a day is usually included in the fee), pool, social life, chapel, etc. all right there. Then perhaps one of you becomes sick, clinic is on the premises. Rehab is on the premises. Friends nearby. The other one continues to live in the house, a short walk away from the rehab area. At some point one or both might choose to move into an apartment in the main building to be in assisted living. Then on to memory care in a different wing if that becomes necessary. From the start, you're both there to look after each other with lots of help from staff. Take a look at this as an example: https://www.themanorseniorliving.com/living/independent-living/
You own all that property and could sell it, so I'm sure you're well able to afford this type of care. I have friends who have done it. They were all so glad they did.
Also, look into Geriatric Care Managers. I've known people in circumstances similar to yours who used them. It seemed to work well.
Good luck, you're clever to be thinking of all this.
The problem with plans is that they work until they don't.
You never know what portion of the plan will go wrong, but my biggest worry for you is that you have no family to look in on you and watch over this situation a bit. That could leave you prey to nefarious actors out there.
My suggestion to you is to contact a Licensed Fiduciary if they are common in your area. Elder Law Attorneys can usually give you a name of a trusted Fiduciary as they are often appointed by the courts for people without progeny or trusted friends to act as POA for them. This person would be hired to handle financial matters so things cannot go wrong in that way. Fees were about 90 to 120 an hour five years ago. What they are now I don't know but once things are set up for accounts, bill paying and accounting not more than one or two hours a month is needed.
Good you are trying to think ahead. It is just difficult to do when you can't predict the level of physical care or mental care one or both of you may require.
If this is what you want to do then I think you should attempt to make it work.
I would be extremely careful about hiring your caregivers. Check all references. Have a contract in place. Consult with an elder attorney if needed. Do you have anyone in mind that would be willing to be your POA if that becomes necessary?
Pay a fair wage and know that caregivers deserve to have days off to tend to their own needs. Ideally, hire more than one person.
If the situation isn’t working out well, please be open to living in a facility, either assisted living or skilled nursing facility.
If your husband was in the military look into veterans benefits. Also, consider contacting Council on Aging in your area to gather information on what is best for your needs.
Wishing you all the best!