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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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OH and I had a cheeseburger n fried mushrooms from DQ - no Blizzard . Let the kids have the ice cream... so I wasn't too bad. Today is 1/2 - teachers have Professional development so I have both kids home.. was going to take them to see grandpa as they are having a Veteran's Day thing at the nursing home... but we had better keep our germs at bay.
M/W? Sorry to hear about your FIL passing. Do your Dad likes it there? Too funny, when we hear so many complain. That's a blessing. Best wishes for your son. You, too.
welcome arose4you. We hope you will find some of our "wisdom" helpful as you continue the journey of caring for your parents while raising your child and the expectations of adding a new member to your family. HUGS from neon
oooooooooops, again. Meant to say, "So glad your Dad likes it there. Perhaps I need a nap? LOL But, don't want to miss precious moments with my nine year old joy guy.
Mom's been so cantankerous, think we'll just leave her on auto-pilot for now.
Shortly after becoming a widower and leaving the Marine Corps, I took my 70 y/o mother in for about two years. I felt as if raising three children instead of two boys on what seemed self-destruct mode. In a nutshell, she moved in to spoil them instead of giving me a hand while I became accustomed to the idea of single parenthood. Whatever they wanted they got, including ear piercing at the age of 10 and calling each other names they weren't born with. I was mortified and asked her to make arrangements to move out to a senior citizen residence here in the South Bronx, but my sisters -- all 13 of them -- laid a guilt trip on me that allowed her to stay for another three years.
In the meantime, I continued to drop by residences for the elderly and noticed many of them behaved just like my sons did before hitting puberty. At first, I thought people do regress mentally as they get older. But then I realized my mother, like Michael Jackson, didn't really have a childhood. Instead of toys on Three Kings Day (aka "Little Christmas"), she got school supplies and uniforms. Play, the arena where children develop their cognitive skills, wasn't allowed. Neither were friends. She simply cooked, cleaned, and learned other skills that would eventually make her a desirable wife and mother at the age of 14. It became clear to me, then, that I was dealing with a human being that didn't get a chance to completely develop and predestined to a life of poverty, multiple pregnancies (16), and regular beatings at the hands of drunken part-time husbands and shadow fathers. Still, she scrounged around long enough and taught us the value of education and importance of self-reliance. I resented many things she did to us because I didn't know where they came from and there are no excuses for it, like collective punishment as a preventive measure. But compared to other "thugs in training" she did a fairly good job and kept me from ending up dead or in jail next to a burly, sweaty six-footer called Flaco.
I was grateful and loved her to death, but the reality was that she was my guest, those were MY children, and that was MY house complete with norms and individual responsibilities designed to maintain the structure necessary for overall peace, stability, balance, and a modicum of sanity. The ubiquitous "I'm your mother!," a built-in excuse to keep doing whatever she wanted, no longer worked; and she knew it. She had to finish growing up and maturing along with my children, the problem was putting everything in a language she'd understand and accept. I had to be consistent with the TLC if she was to get with the program and see me a a self-respecting man that will not put up with rebellious behavior -- even from his mother.
To make a long story short, we have a much different relationship from the ones she has with my sisters; a rowdy bunch of chickens chattering in a churchyard who rarely listen, let alone help anyone else. (You either love them or leave them alone, which explains why I avoid family reunions.) Mom lives in a senior citizen residence not far from my home in Kingsbridge, no longer curses, overdoses on bingo every Sunday, volunteers at a soup kitchen for people living with HIV/AIDS twice a week, and the daycare centers in her neighborhood wish she'd be available more often. She has grown; she has matured; and she is what she has always been in my heart: a goddess. All it took was a little tough love, patience, guidance, and mutual understanding.
what a great man you are and a model to your sons who will always remember who you are,m what you've taught them even if they deter from the road you have put them on they will veeer right back. God Bless you You are an Inspiration to us all.
Ed, You are such a treasure!!!!!!! Thanks so much for reviving my faith in sons! My brother is a total failure when it comes to mom. He lives 37 miles away and only comes to see here when he gets a free meal!!!!! Thanks so much for your post!!!
We must pray for our sons, lovingdaughter. Yes, his post shows God gave him wisdom, and his sons will learn from that. Perhaps more time praying for our loved ones, for each other, and for ourselves is key. Just a thought.
I think you are right on the monry secret sister and name each one by name so God knows you really are prayig for that person although he knows that it is good to put the little extra effort into it.
I know I had to put my mom in a nursing home and have no idea what to do financially. Might have to take her back home before they take the house. But at least its not hurricane katrina. I have to think of the less fortunate to give me hope. We all need to go out dancing at least once a week.
Hugs from Gigglebox, too, arose4you.. I have found a wonderful group of friends here.. Glad that you have some help with your sister in this caregiving responsibility!
M/W... I have missed you guys... worried about hubby now and will elaborate more later... I ask for prayers for him right now.. health issues that I am worried about. Daughter and son are both better!
Yes, Secret Sister and LovingDaughter and ED - we need to pray and press on... Ed, I just read your post and am awed by it - how wonderful to have changed her, to have made her grow up... can you come help me and my dad.. my situation is similar but a father-daughter relationship... Your post has blessed me today!
Nicole, the money goes.. that is all there is to it.. It is not a pretty situation.. you pray and you worry.. but God works it all out... I haven't done Medicaid yet and I think that things will be okay -we sold the house.. but it is so sad to see that checkbook balance dwindle and those cds have to be cashed out. It is disgusting actually to think of how hard our parents worked for their money and then to see it spent so quickly.. but I know that my dad is being taken care of and I try to think of it that way.
So far I have not had to sell her house but I will someday I am sure. We have used all ours and moms savings. And if I cannot keep her forever we will have to sell her house . Medicad will kick in when she has no more essets. I wish I could take care of her but running out of money and patients. Good luck.
That happens to all of us honey money is always a issue thank you government of the United State. ! that being said I choose the people over the money no matter how bad I am treated, I try to be humble very hard for someone with my temperment but doing a good job at trying. I am proud of me I have come a long way baby still have things to work on but money haha can't miss something you never had just like love from a mother so I am my own mother did a pretty good job with my kid so I know I can do a good job for me. Some things you just have to give to the Lord and let him handle them or you will get depressed and crazy and I don't want to be either. Although my husband would sometimes disagree LOL
Unfortunely the sandwich generation is here to stay-now that the husband has passed on I try and do help my sister as I am able and go to Moms when I can get there to try to give my sister a break there are 4 of us kids but my sister has had the whole load for so long ans now I do what I can but is is hard to have those who do not help understand.
you are exactly right. You have a good heart and the Lord knows this. In all things take them to him he may not give you exactly what you want. just like a kid our kids want it all but only get half and thats the way the Lord is because he knows what we need and will not give us more to handle than he knows we can.
God is indeed in control, despite what the government thinks or does.. I did sell my dad's house b/c of insurance issues not money tho the money is being drained. I have not let my dad know about it - he thinks he is made of money - always has and always will..one of the two things he worships - that and food!
Neonwocky, we are all brothers and sisters in this ! Austin is indeed a blessing - understanding that a break is needed and that help is needed! WOW! I am so impressed...
And thanks for the comment - indeed God doesn't give us more than we can handle! Diabetes diagnosis or not.
You are exactly right we are brothers and sisters in this but that doesn't mean we don't get discouraged sometimes right now I am I am just at the point I wish it would all go away. so I must remember the words of the Lord I spoke earlier He doesn't give us more than we can handle so I turn it over to HIM.
I will tell you like I told my best friend the other day - and I was not calling her nor am I calling you a cow - NOW NOW BROWN COW - quit your mooing and start cooing... turn that frown upside down... see, I can be corny,too?
You are too funny! OKay - time to pick up the kids from school... where has my day gone?? Oh yeah, dr's office, pharmacy.. and the laundry can wait til tomorrow.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Today is 1/2 - teachers have Professional development so I have both kids home.. was going to take them to see grandpa as they are having a Veteran's Day thing at the nursing home... but we had better keep our germs at bay.
Mom's been so cantankerous, think we'll just leave her on auto-pilot for now.
In the meantime, I continued to drop by residences for the elderly and noticed many of them behaved just like my sons did before hitting puberty. At first, I thought people do regress mentally as they get older. But then I realized my mother, like Michael Jackson, didn't really have a childhood. Instead of toys on Three Kings Day (aka "Little Christmas"), she got school supplies and uniforms. Play, the arena where children develop their cognitive skills, wasn't allowed. Neither were friends. She simply cooked, cleaned, and learned other skills that would eventually make her a desirable wife and mother at the age of 14. It became clear to me, then, that I was dealing with a human being that didn't get a chance to completely develop and predestined to a life of poverty, multiple pregnancies (16), and regular beatings at the hands of drunken part-time husbands and shadow fathers. Still, she scrounged around long enough and taught us the value of education and importance of self-reliance. I resented many things she did to us because I didn't know where they came from and there are no excuses for it, like collective punishment as a preventive measure. But compared to other "thugs in training" she did a fairly good job and kept me from ending up dead or in jail next to a burly, sweaty six-footer called Flaco.
I was grateful and loved her to death, but the reality was that she was my guest, those were MY children, and that was MY house complete with norms and individual responsibilities designed to maintain the structure necessary for overall peace, stability, balance, and a modicum of sanity. The ubiquitous "I'm your mother!," a built-in excuse to keep doing whatever she wanted, no longer worked; and she knew it. She had to finish growing up and maturing along with my children, the problem was putting everything in a language she'd understand and accept. I had to be consistent with the TLC if she was to get with the program and see me a a self-respecting man that will not put up with rebellious behavior -- even from his mother.
To make a long story short, we have a much different relationship from the ones she has with my sisters; a rowdy bunch of chickens chattering in a churchyard who rarely listen, let alone help anyone else. (You either love them or leave them alone, which explains why I avoid family reunions.) Mom lives in a senior citizen residence not far from my home in Kingsbridge, no longer curses, overdoses on bingo every Sunday, volunteers at a soup kitchen for people living with HIV/AIDS twice a week, and the daycare centers in her neighborhood wish she'd be available more often. She has grown; she has matured; and she is what she has always been in my heart: a goddess. All it took was a little tough love, patience, guidance, and mutual understanding.
You are such a treasure!!!!!!! Thanks so much for reviving my faith in sons! My brother is a total failure when it comes to mom. He lives 37 miles away and only comes to see here when he gets a free meal!!!!! Thanks so much for your post!!!
M/W... I have missed you guys... worried about hubby now and will elaborate more later... I ask for prayers for him right now.. health issues that I am worried about. Daughter and son are both better!
God bless you
praying for you ksue! and for patience!
M/W my husband has been diagnosed with diabetes!
And thanks for the comment - indeed God doesn't give us more than we can handle! Diabetes diagnosis or not.
Turn it over to Him...! You are so right!
Hugs, neon!