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I'm not sure what to make of this. My 84 yo mom (Dementia/ALZ), who brought every stitch of brand new to heavily stained clothing she owned, every pair of worn (and unworn) shoes, every nasty all-but-empty makeup container and everything else small enough to fit into the U-Haul that she could manage to get past me when she moved up here is beginning to give me things to "give to charity". She's also tossing stuff out - like bits of paper that she's been collecting (in case she needs to write notes) and even some of her old cosmetics. She even pulled out a pair of silver plated candlesticks from somewhere in her closet and gave the monstrosities to me.....


This is the same woman who had an honest to goodness conniption fit a few months ago because I wouldn't get my husband to haul her 1970s glass and wood etagere up from the garage even though there is no possible space for it to fit up here (which I told her before the conniption fit she had to get to bring it with us.....).


When she stayed overnight in the hospital a week ago, I actually did pull some of her clothing that I knew she wouldn't miss (because she hasn't worn the pieces once in the 2 years she's been up here) and tossed a bunch of things like outdated OTC meds and open, stale food that were crammed into the back of her nightstand and empty cosmetic containers.


So, I don't know if that created a "cleaning spirit" in her room or if she's subconsciously divesting herself of her worldly goods......


Does anyone else here have experience with such an odd (and while appreciated, also disconcerting) change like this?

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My mother got rid of stuff for years. We got upset with her because she gave away things we would have wanted. My sister got a big plastic tub and put it in her garage (maybe three years ago) and told her to put throwaway/giveaway items in there. But she still would get rid of stuff.

She complained constantly about "all this stuff." It takes up space, she'd say. She was not a hoarder, and everything was in its place. We said, Mom, you are trying to do your own estate; leave that for us to do. She never would stop; she'd say nobody wants this, without asking. She got rid of my dad's eyeglasses that sat on top of a ceramic owl head behind her kitchen sink. I really wanted them but wouldn't have dreamed of asking her for her dead husband's glasses that she looked at every day.

I'm convinced this was among the earlier signs of her (still mild) dementia. She's always been a neatnik and thinned out stuff, but this activity was over the top. She had a small whatnot case with glass walls and lighting that had all sorts of little treasures. After I complained to my sister about the eyeglasses, she noticed that the whatnot was nearly empty. She was very upset, being a sentimental sort. Mom got rid of the first gift my sisters and I bought with our own money, with Dad along, without a thought. She got rid of some (bad) pottery I made years back.

She took my grandmother's crocheted placemats (fine cotton strands) to a local consignment/junktique shop, and my sister learned of this quickly and went to that store and begged to have them back. (They did give them back.) Mind you, placemats don't take much space.

Later on, after her move to an independent living senior apartment, she would claim, "That didn't make it over here in the move." Sister would say, no, Mom, you threw it away.

The worst thing she threw out were the multiple scrapbooks she had put together from my parents' 60+ bus tours. We would have liked to at least go over those, condense and keep.

So, in your case, I'd be thinking of a mental change, unless the stuff being given/thrown away was truly past its prime or useless.
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Quick, take advantage while you can. 😊

Like said u never know with Dementia.

Boy, do I wish I had been with Mom when she cleaned out my sisters. But I had just started a new job, so my SIL helped her clean out. 2o yrs later, cleaning out Moms stuff and find my sisters things in one of the closets. Clothes for one. Asked my SIL why she didn't have Mom get rid of it. Said she tried. Brought my nephews baby stuff back. He is a man, he doesn't want that stuff. She would never have brought any of that stuff back if I had been there. It all would have been donated.
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Lucky you!
😊
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kirahfaye, it could be that your Mom now feels relaxed and safe living with you. Where before she would keep all of that stuff around her like a cocoon.

I had to chuckle about creating a "cleaning spirit", good one :)
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I think that whoever is writing the great american novel about Dementia needs to plumb this site, and now! We must start a thread, by the way, about the best books for those of us dealing... This one is surprising. Though with Dementia nothing does surprise. Nice people become meanies when the stops are off, meanies become sweet, and every sort of thing between. This, however is one I have never heard. I would swear that the hoarding gene would stick to the end. I am a divester by nature and am always downsizing and throwing in preparation for the end. I have a friend close in my age who is the opposite, accumulating for all she is worth and now with all her Mom's stuff as well. That dear lady made it almost to 100. But you do have the mystery question of the day, because I have never seen this propensity toward either collecting of divesting make a turn.
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