My mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with "mild congnative impairment" after 8 months of testing. She is only 65 years old but she is a type 2 diabetic. The Neuro Phycologist that did the testing said that he believes she is very close to "vascular dementia". We think she is much much worse and is a master at hiding it from the doctor.
She lives alone in a 55+ apartment complex. She can no longer drive (but insist that she can) She cant remember to check her blood sugar, or take her insulin when she should. She is supposed to take a short acting insulin after every meal, and long acting insulin at night before bed but she forgets to take them sometimes. We check her testing meter every few days and her readings are wildly erratic. 52 in the middle of the night 505 in the late afternoon. We have tried so hard to get her to fill out a chart (which we hung on her fridge) listing her glucose readings, meals, and insulin doses, but she can't remember to do it.
She eats a lot and eats carbs and sweets often. We started grocery shopping with her about 8 months ago but she gets her friends to take her shopping and buys junk.
She can no longer pay her own bills, or balance her checkbook. She has no short term memory longer than a few hours. She does not know that she has dementia and does not understand why we come over and call her so often. She has been told by the doctor, and by my husband and I at least 75 times! We can sit down and explain it all to her and she gets upset and cries but then an hour later she has no idea that we were even there! This seems way worse than "mild impairment" to us!!!!
This all started about 8 months ago so it's still new for us! We have no other family to help out with her care. I've had to take time off from my business to take care of her but
I can't keep this up! Should we continue to let her live alone? We tried hiring an aide but my MIL keeps telling her not to come or doesn't answer the door or phone. When we call or go over to check her sugar she gets irritated! We are losing our minds and don't know what to do next :(
(My daughter works at an ALF. I recall her being upset one day because when floor staff looked at the care instructions for a new resident it said she was a two-person transfer. "But we are not staffed for that! We are licensed for that! We don't do that! How are we supposed to work this in to our regular duties for our other residents?! Fat lot of good it does if they are charging more for this service, if we don't have staff to do it!" Etc., etc. The people who actually do the work were none too pleased how marketing had sold this contract. Which is why it would be good to talk to the director of nursing before getting very far with serious consideration.)
Have you ever tried meditation? Some community colleges offer Mindfulness Mediation classes; they are a great way to let go of some of the stress.
I know she should have planned for her retirement and eventual aging care but she didn't and now she has no money. I can't feel sorry for her but I am also not cruel! How in the heck am I expected to leave my MIL in a place where I wouldn't leave a stray dog. Yet I can't afford anywhere else.
The second place was better but again every single resident was over 80 and they had no secure memory care. There has to be something better.
I would also keep comments from a dementia patient into perspective. The resident is there because they have dementia. I think a more reliable source might be the family member of a resident. They could relate to you what their experience has been.
Did you find out if these places administer insulin?