I found $600 in my mom's wallet, she'd been hiding it. Since she's advanced stage 7, I didn't think it was a good idea and deposited it in the bank. I left her $25 thinking she can't really count. Yesterday, I observed she was trying to hide the remaining money in the shower. I doubt she's realized anything and the hiding behavior is probably just normal dementia activity. Was thinking of taking the remaining funds and giving her play money so so she can feel secure. Has anyone done this? It was actually a suggestion of the live-in aide.
When I started taking care of him, he only had about $60-$80. cash in his wallet, and seemed very concerned that it was not enough. I put $300.00 more of cash in his wallet and asked if he felt like it was enough? He said much better! 🤗 We kept the wallet in a certain place, and he would check on it or ask me to once or twice a week. He had LBD for 8-10 years, but was still very sharp compared to other types of dementia. I did not see any problem with him having the reassurance that he still had HIS wallet with HIS money in it, to make him feel happy.
Unfortunately, there are children who seem incapable of understanding what their parents are truly going through. People who abuse elders in so many ways. Especially, taking advantage of the hopes that they may not realize how much money they have or if it is dwindling. PURE SHAME on them!
I have a shameful cousin who stated, “I think he is going to outlive me! Why can’t he just die?” To think that the child you raised, provided for, and love, could be so heartless is just evil. His father (my uncle) is very healthy at age 90, and I hope he lives for many, many more healthy years! His son deserves zero in my opinion. We never told my uncle, because hearing that the son he loves so much feels that way about him, might kill him.
If she is taking money out of her wallet and hiding it in places she will forget later, I would worry that she will one day look at her empty wallet and think she's been robbed. Placing phony money in the wallet might help her feel more secure, seeing that she has tangible money she can feel and count. And it gives her a creative activity - hiding it!
Might be a good idea although I wonder if getting rid of her purse is a better idea - if she doesn't see it, likely she won't think about it.
It can't hurt to give her play $ although with advanced dementia, I presume that she doesn't remember moment by moment.
When she starts hiding depends (soiled) in the closet or elsewhere, then you have a more serious issue (once the real $ is out of the picture).
I presume that she is under 24/7 care wherein someone is watching her / observing behavior. Gena / Touch Matters
My husband is in Stage 7 dementia. Here are the characteristics of that stage as measured by the Global Deterioration Scale (GDS):
Verbal Abilities Lost: Speech is limited to, at most, a few intelligible words, often reduced to grunting.
Loss of Motor Skills: Inability to walk or sit without support, often leading to being bedridden.
Functional Incontinence: Total loss of bladder and bowel control.
Physical Decline: Difficulty swallowing and eating, leading to weight loss or vulnerability to infections like pneumonia.
Personality Changes: Severe reduction in environmental interaction, though agitation or emotional shifts can occur.
So exactly where is mom in Stage 7 dementia going to be spending this play money? At this stage, going out is pretty much not likely. Maybe set up a play store with a cute lil cash register and empty lil cereal boxes? Like in kindergarten? If so, that truly takes the cake! OMG, just sit her down in front of the TV and let her watch Little Madhouse on the Prairie.
The ottoman. When cleaning out a parents home you have to check everything. Don't get rid of anything until you make sure nothing is inside. Pockets of coats and clothing. My Aunt had a bookcase next to her chair where she hid her bingo winnings in books and music albums. When my cousin cleaned her house after death, she found 3k. The family was lucky that 40k was returned.
Best to get rid of as many hiding places as is possible. Although w play $, it doesn't really matter. Hiding soiled depends is when it becomes more serious. A person with this level of brain dysfunction should never have had $600 available anyway . . . I wonder how / why that happened. Gena
If she accepts the "prop" money great.
The problem might be if she is out and she tries to spend it.
I also have to wonder if there is any other money hidden around the house that you are unaware of.
When it is time to clean out the house make sure you go through EVERYTHING in the house. (The live in aide may be doing that now.....just a thought)