Does anyone have a suggestion as to a sleep aid that will give a dementia sufferer sleep vs. increasing the agitation, confusion and only making the dementia worse? My mother is 95, a hospice patient and lives with us along with my 85 year old father-in-law and our 4 month old grandson. My mother has been up numerous nights extremely confused. Of course, everything she says is very real to her and when I try to either reason with her or try to tell her she can't leave at 3am, she digs her heels in. There is no reasoning with her and I can't tie her to the bed. I need something to give her peace from her deeply confused state. I am exhausted and it breaks my heart watching her struggle with a mind that lies to her. Last night I was up all night trying to keep her from taking the car, that she quite driving 5 years ago, to pick up her brother, who died 12 years ago. She has no balance, her legs are weak and she can barely walk yet was fighting me tooth and nail because I had my hand on her arm trying to keep her from falling down. It is extremely frustrating for not only my family and myself, but her as well. I know if I could just give her a pill during those times that would knock her out and give her a good night's sleep by the next morning life would be better......for us all. Last night, I gave her a Darvocet, two Ativan and an anti-depressant that was supposed to help. HA! I know the doctors don't want to prescribe sleeping pills because they can be deadly in the elderly. I am exhausted because I care for my grandson during the day as well as my mother and now I am up all night too. I need some rest. I love my mother with all my heart and soul and would do anything for her comfort. All her life she told me, "If I EVER lose my mind, just pull the plug because I NEVER want to live like that." And here she is alive in the shell that was once my mother. It is so, so sad because I know she is miserable, exhausted and trying to make sense in situations when there is non to be made. I sure could use some suggestions. No she is not hungry, needs to use the bathroom or any of the other issues sometimes associated with agitation. It is her mind making the unreal seem real to her. I feel so awful and it is heartbreaking to watch and deal with. Thanks!
I am going to include some of this article, in hopes of helping you. I would ALSO talk to hospice care and get their input, as they should be experienced with this situation.
How to promote a good night's sleep
Sleep disturbances can take a toll on both you and your loved one. To promote better sleep:
■Think light. Exposing your loved one to a few hours of bright sunlight in the morning may improve his or her sleep at night. Light therapy with a specialized light box may be helpful, too.
■Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine in soda, tea, coffee or other products may contribute to sleeplessness, and alcohol can contribute to confusion and anxiety. If your loved one insists on having a drink, offer a soft drink in a familiar cocktail glass or serve nonalcoholic beer or wine.
■Manage medications. Find out what time of day your loved one should take his or her medications — morning for drugs that have a stimulating effect, and evening for drugs that make your loved one sleepy. Note that sleeping pills are generally discouraged for people who have Alzheimer's. These drugs can increase confusion and the risk of falls.
■Encourage physical activity. Plan your loved one's days to include walks and other physical activities, which can help promote better sleep at night. Taper your loved one's activities as the day winds down, however. Physical activity close to bedtime may leave your loved one too energized to fall asleep.
■Limit daytime sleep. If your loved one needs a nap, make sure it's short and not too late in the day. Have your loved one nap on the couch or in a recliner rather than in bed. If you think staying in bed too long in the morning contributes to nighttime wakefulness, wake your loved one earlier.
■Establish a bedtime routine. Do the same things in the same way every night, such as brushing teeth, using the toilet, listening to soft music and rubbing your loved one's back. If bathing or dressing for bed is difficult, do it earlier in the day. It's also important to create a comfortable place for sleeping. Make sure the temperature in your loved one's bedroom is comfortable. Turn on a night light. Place security objects, such as a favorite blanket, within easy reach.
■Treat underlying conditions. If you suspect that an underlying condition — such as sleep apnea, depression or pain — is interfering with your loved one's sleep, consult his or her doctor. Treatment may lead to more restful sleep for everyone.