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Take a walk inside or outside, sit outside(weather permitting)and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors with perhaps a glass of wine(or drink of your choice)too, go to church, go to lunch or supper with a friend, go shopping, read a good book, just to name a few. And yes I did all of the above while I was caring for my husband. It helped keep me more calm overall, and reminded me that I mattered too.
I think that's where a lot of caregivers go wrong, and why they lose their temper more easily. They don't take the necessary time for themselves and do things that they enjoy. It all becomes about the one being cared for, and that is dangerous in so many ways. I myself had to learn that lesson the hard way as most caregivers do.
That is why the mortality rate is 63% higher for caregivers than non caregivers, and why 40% of caregivers caring for someone with dementia will die before the one they're caring for, from stress related issues.
Oh and I forgot the most important thing. Get involved in a local caregiver support group(yes, they're free)either in person or on Zoom. Mine literally saved my life when I was at my wits end while caring for my husband. There is nothing better or more helpful than being able to share with others who know and understand exactly what you're going through.
And of course last but not least, your loved one may need to be placed in the appropriate facility, where you can get back to just being a loving spouse and not the caregiver. And if money is an issue, then you'll have to apply for Medicaid.
There will come a point when you'll have to not only do what is best for your spouse but for you as well.
I wish you the very best.
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