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85 year old brother with dementia has developed toileting difficulty. He no longer effectively wipes himself, but carries toilet tissue (clean) in his pockets, puts multiple strips of tissue in bedroom drawers, and places a full roll in the kitchen. Live-in caregiver says he doesn’t stay on toilet long enough to clean up and jumps up from toilet if phone rings.
All day he continuously goes to the bathroom for quick trips. Gastroenterologist advised psyllium to soften stool and medication for Aide to put on his irritated bottom.
Family has installed a nice toilet seat bidet, but he doesn’t use it. He wants to be independent and balks at personal assistance.
Why would be stop wiping himself after bowel movements? Is this typical in the progression of dementia?

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Yes, it is normal for dementia. He can balk all he wants, but he is not independent and never will be again. As others have said he needs a better 24/7 care giver staff or he needs to be placed in a facility that will clean him up as needed.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I hope he is wearing Depends. He willbecome incontinent at some point. Youmay want to consider placing him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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As has been noted his brain is broken. Caregiving happens on the caregiver's terms or burnout is inevitable. If the aid can't manage this new behavior then he may need to transition into disposable briefs and anti-strip clothing.
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Reply to Geaton777
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This behavior is here to stay, and you might as well accept that and plan for further difficulties. Other things he might do: Hide used toilet tissue around the house. Carry it around in his pockets. At some point he may not recognize his poop for what it is, and he'll carry that around too. Maybe he'll hide it in various places, or take it out of the toilet and leave it on the floor. He may not know what the toilet is anymore, or what to do with it. He may smear poop on things around the house. He may get in the tub and poop and pee in the tub. He may pee all around the house - in drawers, the fridge, the stove, the sink, the dishwasher, the air conditioner, his shoes, the kitchen chair and table.

The elimination fixation is weird and exhausting for caregivers. It's an issue that often forces loved ones to place their family members in memory care. There's only so much of this that we can stand!

I'm sorry you are facing this situation and sad that I unfortunately have no advice that will really help.
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Reply to Fawnby
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He's not wiping well because his brain is broken and he no longer knows how to.
His live-in caregiver is now going to have to go with him every time he goes to the bathroom to make sure that he's being cleaned up properly, and that means by the aide themselves and not your brother.
And at this point it really doesn't matter if your brother wants to pretend he's independent, because he isn't and this now has to be done for his own good.
And if his live-in aide can't handle helping your brother in the bathroom, then it may be time to have your brother placed in the appropriate facility as he will only continue to get worse.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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