85 year old brother with dementia has developed toileting difficulty. He no longer effectively wipes himself, but carries toilet tissue (clean) in his pockets, puts multiple strips of tissue in bedroom drawers, and places a full roll in the kitchen. Live-in caregiver says he doesn’t stay on toilet long enough to clean up and jumps up from toilet if phone rings.
All day he continuously goes to the bathroom for quick trips. Gastroenterologist advised psyllium to soften stool and medication for Aide to put on his irritated bottom.
Family has installed a nice toilet seat bidet, but he doesn’t use it. He wants to be independent and balks at personal assistance.
Why would be stop wiping himself after bowel movements? Is this typical in the progression of dementia?
The elimination fixation is weird and exhausting for caregivers. It's an issue that often forces loved ones to place their family members in memory care. There's only so much of this that we can stand!
I'm sorry you are facing this situation and sad that I unfortunately have no advice that will really help.
His live-in caregiver is now going to have to go with him every time he goes to the bathroom to make sure that he's being cleaned up properly, and that means by the aide themselves and not your brother.
And at this point it really doesn't matter if your brother wants to pretend he's independent, because he isn't and this now has to be done for his own good.
And if his live-in aide can't handle helping your brother in the bathroom, then it may be time to have your brother placed in the appropriate facility as he will only continue to get worse.