Dad and Mom always treated me and my brother equally. I am one year older. We are co-POAs, and it is stipulated we must agree on everything. Unfortunately, we don't agree on practically anything! Politics is a screaming match. We have totally opposite views. (although that doesn't have much to do with Mom.) She will be 95 in July. She still lives in the house where we grew up. She is a hoarder of things...not garbage, very organized, lots of stuff in marked boxes, etc. When the time comes, I want to have an Estate Sale professionally handled, then sell the house. He wants to try to sell off the collections of stuff, then put a couple hundred thousand into the renovation of the house, then try to sell afterward. I don't think we would get much out of the time and money invested, and the area has had several buyers in the area come in and just raze the houses and rebuild their own house creations on the land. I hate to consider this, but I have an awful feeling I may end up with an attorney..... Anyone's thoughts???
Eventually I distributed some things to beneficiaries and we did an auction with the rest. We found a good auctioneer who only took 20%. He expected a very good auction or percentage would have been higher. He was more than fair. He cleaned out the whole house, took some things to the dump and charity and sold all of the rest. (Some of them won't take everything.)
It would have taken years to sell things by ourselves and on ebay - Dad was WWII, depression baby... saved everything. Overwhelming amount of stuff! But as you say, well cared for and organized. That did help.
We did not choose an estate sale as we didn't want to haggle over everything and we did want everything gone.
Prices - you never know. It was a good auction but not quite as good as even the auctioneer thought it would be.
Seems right now people like small Americana that they can sell on ebay but tastes are constantly changing.
Now there is the house. Family home of many years but most live far away now. Another hard decision. 5 beneficiaries, 5 different perspectives.
Finally decided to sell and it's not easy. Not only do people today not want all the old stuff, they also don't want 5 bedroom old houses with one upstairs bathroom in a languishing little northern town with a bad economy. We will be lowering the price. I'll be glad when this is all over. Good luck to you!
We live in a very hot real estate market - to point they are passing laws that non-citizens can't buy without a surcharge - our house is worth 6 times what we paid for it - so a few years ago I called insurance company to increase our home insurance to cover the increased value but they said IT IS THE LAND THAT IS INCREASED IN VALUE NOT THE HOUSE - talk to a few real estate people before you do anything because the builders raze the house to put up a McMansion
It made me feel so good to give things to people and organizations that needed it. Clothes for women to go on job interviews, a bedroom set to a man who was recently out of prison and sleeping on the floor. Mementos to her friends. I even made little bags of toiletries and gave to the homeless. If you brother wants to place $200K into a remodel, your mother seems to be well off financially. However, you MUST decide now on, "The Next Step." Be prepared whether she is going into an assisted living or will live with one of you. She will require care and good care costs money. I suggest the professional to handle the estate sale. It is exhausting! And in your case it will be emotional since it is the family home with so many memories. Don't hesitate to ask an independent third party to help with this decision so you and your brother will remain loving siblings in the years ahead. That's what is important. Not STUFF.
My sibling and I were harmonious POAs when our remaining parent developed dementia and a terminal heart condition. We found an assisted living facility that met our high standards and were prepared to sell his possessions and home to help pay for it. We identified different "collections" (mid-century modern furniture, WWII memorabilia; you get the idea) and located dealers in the area who specialized in those things. We decided to sell the house more or less "as-is". The plan was to do this within the first few months of his stay in the ALF.
Dad died four days after moving to the ALF. That changed the scenario, because I became the executor of the estate. My sibling and I agreed it should be dispersed as quickly as possible - a house that no one is living in is a financial black hole.
We each took the items that had personal meaning to us, and sold the rest at auction, and to the aforementioned dealers. I did some cosmetic work to the house, and found a great Realtor in the area who sold it rapidly for a fair price - this saving the estate thousands in property taxes and upkeep. The entire physical estate was settled within four months - like ripping off a bandaid: done with minimal pain.
Here's what I learned: the contents of your parents' home are not worth much (unless there's a Faberge egg or a Monet in a closet somewhere). If you select an auction house, they will come pick up the stuff, take it away, and you will receive a check - you do not have to agonize over the individual value of each item. The house itself is nothing but a drain on resources; it should be sold ASAP.
The takeaway is: Let It Go.
I'm sorry your brother is not in accord with you... you seem to be a very practical person, and he is a dreamer if he thinks spending the next few years of his life eBaying is going to make your family significantly more money. I really wish you well going forward, good luck, and blessings.
We were in the same position with the house. We could have renovated for a couple hundred thousand but would we really have recouped it? In the end, the ease of just moving on win out.
They operate out of Florida, the northwest part.
The sad truth is, Mom's collectibles won't bring in significant money. Unless there's a Picasso or Monet stashed away in there. And yeah, using an auctioneer/service will cut your take by 50% -- at least. The benefit is: the ugly chore will be done in one weekend. DONE. With somebody else doing the grunt work.
The DIY approach to Project Sell Stuff could last a year or more. Not exaggerating. Most of us mere mortals need to work for a living. Can brother devote himself to the minutiae 7 days a week -- valuing, tagging, marketing, selling and shipping Every Single Thing?.....until it's all gone??
There's also the burnout factor. Putting your hands on every single thing in a dead parent's house -- even if it's just to chuck it into a trash bag or dumpster -- is draining beyond description. I wanted to walk away and not come back, oh, about a million times. And I had tons of help from family and friends.
I have nothing cheery to say about unloading real estate, either. My sibs and I had our parents' primary home and investment properties appraised as is. All were dated but serviceable, and each property had several "thumbs-up" strong points that will always hold or increase value. We set our very modest prices to align with the appraisals, with special considerations for each property's pros and cons.
As sellers, we quickly learned one glaring takeaway: nobody gives a crap. We spent almost 3 years navigating a parade of casket chasers and cheapskates. Starting with the family friends who had "always been interested in" and "let me know if..." Pffft.
As the clock ticked, we succumbed and did some minor renovations. Which proved to be a fresh way to attract low-ballers. The gap between our modest asking prices and eventual sale prices surely had Mom and Dad rolling over in their grave.
Ideally, you and bro can agree on a plan that will not make a hard thing harder. The possessions and real estate only mean something to the person who is 6 feet under. And possibly sentimental heirs. If brother is expecting the outside world to match his perceived value of the estate, he will be sorely disappointed.
I don't envy you and brother being co-POAs.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
In the end, I sent a 26' truck load of furnishings that were left off to an auction where I netted $300. Nobody wanted "brown" furniture. My parents had beautiful colonial style furniture and that style has gone to barn wood primitives.
If I were to do it again I would still manage the sale myself because in the process I discovered important pieces that were of interest to the family and even historians. My father's WWII medical manual, for example would have gone out to the dump.
On the sibling issue, my sister and I started out disagreeing and now we speak mostly through lawyers. Things can go south very quickly.
Good luck.
Two very different scenarios.
But ... if this happens while you and brother are still POAs, then one of you has to convince the other, and a decision must be made. If it happens after Mom dies, then you are no longer POAs.
Does your brother think that these collections that your mom has hoarded are going to fetch the hundreds of thousands of dollars needed to renovate the house?
Is your mom sitting on valuable collections? Or is it just assumed that what your mom has is valuable? Has anything been appraised?
You can hire an appraiser now or you can wait until your mom passes away but if you hire an appraiser you can get a better idea of what kind of value you're looking at. I have this mental image of you in the front yard having a yard sale and your brother in the house on his computer trying to sell the exact same items on ebay.
Don't start thinking "lawyer" yet. Once lawyers get involved everyone but the lawyers walk away with nothing.
I am curious to know where your brother will be getting the $200,000 to renovate mom's home.
Hopefully, you're not co-executors!
What level of care does mom need right now? Does she have the funds to pay for it?
Unless you are generationally wealthy, your mom will end up on Medicaid and the house will be spoken for (either because you sold it to pay for her care or because you had to move her because she needed a higher level of care) and the house in lined by Medicaid.
You will both be shocked, I'm sure, to find that mom's collectors not bring big bucks.