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The unit is more hospital like than their homey AL room and she will have a roommate. I do not think it is going to go well

My mother died at 95 with advanced dementia and still remembered us. It's a fallacy to think all elders will eventually forget their loved ones. It's Alzheimer's that brings about this issue oftentimes, not so much the other dementias.

My mother went from regular AL into Memory Care when she had moderate dementia and bad mobility problems, was wheelchair bound and falling constantly. So the combination of those deficits meant she needed a lot more care than what was offered in AL, and MC was required. I could have looked around for other ALs to take her, and maybe I should have, but that ship has sailed. She was staying in the same facility with a lot of the same staff who loved her, and she'd have her own private suite. Had she needed to share a room, I would've looked elsewhere. She was not one to share and truly disliked women.

Have you thought about looking elsewhere for mom to be accepted in AL?

If that's not feasible, do your best to make her side of the room as homey and familiar as possible. What else can you Do? My mother was SUCH a complainer that I could've put her up at Buckingham palace and she'd have come up with issues. If that's how your mom is, there's nothing you can do to fix this situation, so don't try. Just bring her snacks and small gifts and restaurant food when the complaining starts about the "horrible food" bc it WILL. It's the law 🙄

Keep visits brief if necessary, and don't try to intervene with everything she says upsets her. Only the important things. Like if the roommate is screaming 24/7 or things like that.

Wishing you good luck and Godspeed, and that mom adjusts well to the new situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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It likely will not.
But you can't be responsible for her happiness. Moreover there IS NO HAPPINESS in all this and there will not be. Old age is all about loss. And this is the final loss. The loss of your home, your own decisions and your mind.

So you will have to let go of expecting things to go well, accept that things are NOT well, and go on best you can. They may ask you not to visit a while, and not to take her out too frequently. I would try it their way. Families often end up with a meld of what they do and what they are advised to do.

Take it a day at a time. Expect the unexpected. There sometimes is more quick decline either temporarily or permanently. I am so sorry. Again, you can't be responsible for happiness now. It isn't there to be had.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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